By Guest Author, Sheila Wray Gregoire
Sometimes it can be hard to get “in the mood”. Our minds are focused on a million things, our to-do lists are a mile long, and we’re naturally worried about our children, our homes, our families.
But with a little planning, you can put natural aphrodisiacs to work for you, making you hungry for your husband (and hungry for a little fun!), even in the midst of your busy-ness.
Sexual desire is tied to several things: our hormones (which we can do very little about), our endorphins, or the chemicals in our brain that make us feel happy or excited, and our blood circulation (especially circulation DOWN THERE. ☺ ).
While we can’t affect our hormones, we can certainly naturally stimulate endorphins and circulation. With a little planning, you can have an awesome date night with your husband that hits all the right notes. Here’s how:
Start with Laughter
Laughter is good for the soul–and the libido! So curl up with your husband and watch a funny movie. Choose some funny conversation starters to make you chuckle. Even choose a 2-player board game, like Jenga, that will reduce stress and boost your mood.
Get the Blood Pumping
Next to laughter, there’s no better natural aphrodisiac than exercise. It releases toxins, stimulates endorphins, and gets your blood circulating all at the same time! Go for an after dinner bike ride with your husband. Go for a jog. Or even pull out that old Wii and play some active games on it! That will combine laughter and exercise all at the same time.
Add the Right Scents
The scents of the right essential oils often define “sexy” to us. Men, especially, tend to be partial to patchouli or sandalwood, while women often like to add a little spearmint to lighten the scent. We often enjoy jasmine and clary sage, too. So put a few drops of one or two oils in a diffuser and wait for the aroma to put you in that “come hither” mood! Start one of the more feminine scents, like clary sage, earlier in the day to signal to your brain, “this is what you want!”, and then, when you’re snuggling with your husband, add those that pack a punch, like patchouli.
Nibble Something Yummy
Certain foods, like dark chocolate, have long been known to be aphrodisiacs. Oysters have been touted as aphrodisiacs, too, although most people now think that’s just because of their shape (I’ll let you figure that one out on your own). Go for the dark chocolate. Who can resist that? Keep some on hand just for date nights–and don’t tell the kids where the stash is.
Add Something Spicy
Spicy things stimulate circulation, which also stimulates libido! In fact, many manufacturers now combine spicy with dark chocolate to give you a complete natural aphrodisiac. Chili pepper dark chocolate is hard to resist, and tastes much better than it sounds. Trust me.
Or for your main course at dinnertime, enjoy some spicy Indian food, as long as that sits well with your stomach. Nothing helps you lose desire faster than feeling queasy.
Warming foods also do a great job of setting the mood. A spice like ginger is both warming and circulation-enhancing, and it’s a great one to add to any main course dish. Cinnamon also is very warming, so on a fall night, simmer some cinnamon-sprinkled apple cider in your slow cooker and sip it throughout the evening. Or choose some herbal teas that contain cinnamon or ginger, and enjoy them throughout the evening.
Luxuriate in a Massage
Massage releases tension, but also releases toxins and endorphins.
Here’s another truth: for women, sex largely begins in the brain. While men tend to be aroused before they start making love, for women, getting in the mood tends to be a little more complicated. When our brains are focusing on other things, our bodies have a hard time following.
Starting with a massage helps you to relax and empty your head of all those stray thoughts. You can concentrate on your body again (which you’ve likely been ignoring all day as you ran around, getting things done). And that helps us to realize, “Hey! My body actually does feel good!”
If you’ve been laughing and relaxing, smelling delicious scents and eating delicious foods, and then enjoying your husband’s hands on you, you may just find that the transition from busy mom to fun wife isn’t as hard as it once seemed. You can signal to your body, “Hey, you do want this!” And then you can enjoy being a wife again.
What are your favorite natural aphrodisiacs?
Sheila Wray Gregoire doesn’t only write about sex. She just writes MOSTLY about sex. She’s the author of eight books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex and 31 Days to Great Sex, and she blogs everyday at To Love, Honor and Vacuum.
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