Well, here I am at almost 10 weeks now! It’s really been moving fast this time. Crazy, almost. The holidays have certainly kept me busy. I had to pull out my maternity clothes yesterday, because I put on a fitted shirt and it fell just below my belly button! Oops! Definitely time for something slightly bigger…. No one else can see that I’m pregnant (as you can tell from the picture above), but I know I’m starting to change. I’m too big to comfortably wear my fitted clothes, but not big enough to really “need” maternity clothes yet. You know, that super fun in-between stage!
The morning sickness is basically gone (yay!) and I’m starting to be able to really eat again. I didn’t do a meal plan for the last two weeks (and didn’t stick to the one I did the two weeks before that), and now I’m really missing it. But since I’m finally able to eat almost normally again, it’s time to get back to it. I really, really hate not having a plan, because that just leads to us waiting until it’s meal time and saying, “So, uh…what do you want to eat?” Then we realize that we should have thawed something, or started something soaking, or even just turned on the oven already, and it takes another hour or so to get anything on the table. Unless I break down and make a box of mac’n’ cheese from Trader Joe’s (which I’ve done a handful of times) and just serve it with some grass-fed beef and steamed broccoli. Or something. It could be worse, right?
It’s time to get back to my life in many ways. Ben’s been off for the holidays so our routine’s been thrown off. I’m super behind on laundry (at the time of writing, Sunday, I have 4 clean baskets to fold, and at least 4 more loads to wash, and probably more like 6. Really). So I need to get up and out of my stupor and start taking care of my home again! I’m ready though.
This is a particularly nerve-wracking part of pregnancy for me, and a bit more so this time than the previous times. With both of the first two, we were still seeing a OB at this time, and we had an ultrasound around 8 – 9 weeks. So, just as my morning sickness and early symptoms were fading, but before I could feel the baby move. This time, we’re not.
As it happens, our midwives officially recommend having back-up care. But the truth is, most doctors around here don’t really support home birth, and they will drop you if you mention you are having one. They might be perfectly soliticious about it, as our doctors with Daniel were — “Please look into it, and if you decide it’s for you, go for it! But we can’t care for you any longer” — but the truth remains the same: they will not agree to be back up care. Either they do the whole thing, or they don’t see you. Plus one of the reasons we’re not going that route this time is because we don’t want all the interventions that come along with standard OB care. I don’t want them to do all the initial blood tests and internal exams and other junk. I don’t feel I need it.
But, that does, of course, make me very slightly nervous at this time. I’m starting to feel better, but I’m not yet really “bigger” and I can’t feel the baby move. And I never feel my babies until late, around 20 weeks. But I’m not even far enough yet to hear the heartbeat! We’ll try in a couple weeks at our next appointment, but it may or may not be possible. So for now I just have to trust that everything is okay and my little baby is living and growing, with very little evidence.
I am well aware that if something were wrong, chances are I’d have cramping, bleeding, and other bad signs. And I don’t. I know that I wouldn’t have gone through all that morning sickness and I wouldn’t still be tired. I know intellectually everything’s fine. But I’ll feel better once I’ve heard the heartbeat, and even better once I can feel my baby move.
So why don’t I want any of that testing, if it could potentially reassure me that everything is, in fact, fine?
I don’t feel it would be in my baby’s best interests. I don’t want internal exams because every time you have one, foreign bacteria can be introduced, increasing the risk of infection. I don’t want a bunch of blood tests because they won’t really tell me anything valuable anyway (I will only allow an anemia test, finger prick-style, at 28 weeks). And I don’t want ultrasounds because I do not believe that they are the harmless, fun tool that everyone thinks they are.
Ultrasounds send high-frequency sound waves at the baby, which bounce off and form an image. People say since it’s just sound, it can’t possibly be damaging. But did you know they also use ultrasounds to find and then break kidney stones? If the ultrasounds can actually break apart kidney stones (and there are better and safer ways, which is not important right now), what might it do to your tiny, developing baby? There’s evidence it can cause minor brain damage (increased left-handedness, learning disabilities). It’s also highly inaccurate. They can’t really measure a baby or fluid levels because they can’t get a fully accurate picture. Not to mention if the baby’s moving, or your anatomy is a bit different….
So there’s the potential for harm, and inaccurate diagnosis. Why would I want that? My goal is to leave my baby alone as much as possible (from intrusive testing) and nourish him or her with food, relaxation, love. And besides, even ACOG (American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology), one of the most conservative and mainstream sources, does not recommend using routine ultrasounds.
Do I think that for some women, who are high-risk, that the benefits may outweigh any drawbacks? Sure. I’m not against it being used as a selective diagnostic tool in cases where it is warranted. I have friends who have lupus anticoagulant (which can cause blood clots, and therefore mental retardation or even death) or diabetes or other conditions and they probably really need it, at least a couple times, to make sure that their conditions are not causing problems for their babies.
But I don’t fall into that category. And I don’t want to do all these tests just to cover some doctor’s butt, or just because they’re “fun.” I’ll see my baby when he or she is born. And no, I won’t know for sure until birth whether the baby is “he” or “she.” Nor will I likely have picked a name. Which I typically do by asking God, “Who are you sending me?”
So even though it’s just a little bit hard right now, I have to trust. I have to remember that I feel fine, things are progressing normally (it’s a little easier to remember since I have done this before!), and I do not need these things to make sure my baby is okay. My baby is fine, and is growing inside me.
I know a few of you are saying, “But what if your baby has some really rare genetic disorder or something really strange is going on?” Is that really a reason to take every test, on the 1 in 10,000 chance that something could be wrong? And what’s it going to change, am I going to abort this baby because of a problem? No. Would I be better off in a hospital if there were a problem? Maybe, but maybe it wouldn’t even help. I even have a family member whose baby died at birth because of cord prolapse (home birth). She went on to have another baby at home, and is having yet another at home this month. She trusts. And I trust too.
Next week I’ll tell you a little more about the tests I do plan to have and why.
What do you think of all the testing? Do you get ultrasounds?
So glad your morning sickness has subsided. Our son is 17 weeks but I can still remember those MONTHS of all day nausea…ugh!
I'm confused by your comment of increased left-handedness with the use of ultrasounds. Is there some hidden corrlation to brain damange if your left-handed?
Blessings
Danielle,
According to several studies I've seen, the rate of left handedness in any given population is around 1O%. In babies that repeatedly exposed to ultrasound, they're seeing up to 35%. Since no other population is that high, they're theorizing that mild damage is the reason for the increase.
Thank you for posting this. I am just at 17 weeks and we have decided not to do a bunch of testing either. My midwives offer it, but it's my choice. I've had a few friends and family members disagree with our decision, and it's nice to know I'm not crazy for doing it! We have done some blood testing on me (my mother has a clotting disorder that started right about the time she was my age, so we're monitoring that closely with me) and will have an ultrasound at 20 weeks, but that's about it. I have been getting very anxious though! I got to hear the heartbeat on the doppler at my last appointment, and that was quite reassuring, but I completely understand how you feel. I didn't have my first appointment until 11 weeks, and they couldn't find the heartbeat then. I was hard to not worry about it a lot, but I have had not reasons to think anything was wrong, just anxiety, especially since this is my first.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble, I just wanted to say thank you
I recently found your blog and am really enjoying it! So glad you're feeling better. Those early weeks can be very trying.
I agree – for the most part, the tests and routine procedures are completely out of control! I'm all for natural as can be pregnancies, but I am also very grateful for ultrasounds and blood tests in moderation. Without them, I wouldn't know that I had developed an antibody that could potentially attack the baby I was supposed to be protecting. I also wouldn't have known that I had a complete placenta previa until it was perhaps too late and I had bled out. Being made aware of those things allowed us to spread the word and allow our friends and family to bathe us in prayer and watch God perform a miracle.
You make it sound like being left handed is a bad thing!
Liz,
It's not that being left handed is a bad thing, it's just that if it happens to be caused by brain damage instead of genetics, it's a problem. Wouldn't you say? 1O% of people are naturally left handed! But anything that causes or suggests brain damage is better left alone, in my opinion!
I have used ultrasounds with both of my pregnancies. I try to avoid doing more than one though and I don't believe in doing the 3-D ultrasound- I think that's gotten way out of hand. I will point out though, that the Doppler ultrasound (used for hearing the heartbeat) uses a higher frequency of ultrasound waves. So if one wished to avoid using ultrasound, they should probably look into the effects of using a Doppler. Unless there's some factor that I'm missing, it would stand to reason that one should find an alternate method of hearing their baby's heartbeat if they're concerned about the exposure to ultrasound. Perhaps it's considered "safe enough" because of the short amount of time it's used to detect the heartbeat? What's your opinion on this?
Becky,
Yes, the Doppler should also be avoided under most circumstances, as it is a form of ultrasound. Most people don't know that, thanks for posting this! My midwives, through most of my pregnancy, will use an old fashioned fetoscope to hear the baby's heartbeat. They use the Doppler during labor, very briefly, to check on the baby. That's probably the only time that it's "necessary." The fetoscope works just fine otherwise.
I really appreciate that you are taking the time to not only talk about the tests you are not getting and why, but also the tests you will be getting and why. I appreciate that you are talking about what things really do matter and are helpful and also the things that really are just not okay or necessary for most individuals.
Fairly new reader–really enjoying your blog. Thank you!
I opted out of all testing including ultrasounds for my third pregnancy. I felt strongly that was how it was supposed to be and my midwife was fine with it. I gave birth (at home! on purpose!) to two beautiful girls. Had I had an ultrasound, a twin homebirth would have been out of the question and I would have been subjected (most likely) to another c-section. I think it pays to listen to your intuition!
Thanks for the clarification. At first It did sort of seem like you were saying that the reason for being left-handed was brain damage. I'm a lefty, my grand father was a lefty and I'm actually hoping that my little guy is a lefty but that's up to the Lord!
Blessings!
Glad to hear you're feeling better.
Now I'm all for avoiding unnecessary tests during pregnancy…just to clear the record. I'm with you on that one, but the left-handed thing always bugs me. (And I've heard it elsewhere, not just here.) Could you link to some of the studies you mention? Because my guess would be that in places where they don't routinely do ultrasounds, there is also major social stigma around left-handedness. So you're forced to be a right-handed whether you really are or not (much like happened here in the US up until the last 30 years or so). I just don't buy into left-handedness being a sign of brain damage.
Oh, and one more thing: I had read some interesting information about the effect of ultrasounds on a developing baby's (fetus, if you will) hearing and the relation to future learning capability. Basically, the better a child's hearing is, the better they can learn (through hearing verbal communication) there's actually a link between early speech and early literacy. I wish I had a link to where I read that…but I don't. You should be able to find it relatively easily in your research (or you may have already read that). The same goes for breastfeeding a baby, and how breastfed babies have fewer ear infections- I think that's one of the factors in breastfed children having higher IQ's.
I think as with any testing, it should be used conservatively (if something is even remotely invasive) and make sure the benefits outweigh the risks.
One test that makes me scratch my head a little is the glucose screening. How is it a good thing to make a pregnant woman fast and then make her drink a beverage that is basically the equivalent to kool-aid (complete with artificial colors and flavors). I'm just sayin'.
@Courtney, I just want to encourage you with your testing choice. I am the said friend with clotting disorder in the post, and with my son, even though it caused issues with him, we had all of the routine testing (except the ones for downs), and NOTHING showed up in our numerous US. The damage that could happen because of it isn't very nice, but testing won't change that, or really make it show up! I would caution you though to have a "back up plan" in case you have a home birth, IF there were issues, action needs to happen quick, and while medicine has improved in this area, many of the interventions need to be STARTED (meaning in the hospital with the technical capability's(specialized children's…not one you give birth in) and the prep-work done) within 3 hours, or your window has passed. Feel free to message me with any questions!
I only have one child so far and though I didn't have any internal exams, I had one ultrasound at 20 weeks to determine the sex. I will not do one again though when I get pregnant as I humbly admit it was for selfish reasons and know it has risks. Thanks for your post!
Hi Kate!
I found stumbled apon ur blog looking for others opinions on opting out on tests during pregnancy. And in my case the Nuchal Translucency test. I am 13 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child.I found myself very discouraged the past couple of days due to my ob’s office staff questioning my decision to cancel the testing. My dr recommended and scheduled it, didn’t ask. And I never felt peace about it. I discussed it with my husband, prayed and came to my decision. So After my not so friendly conversations with my ob’s staff, I wanted to look online to see if I was the only one who felt like ultrasounds, and invasive, or disturbing testing was unwise for a growing baby.I have decided that I wont have any unecessary testing done. Now praying my ob will respect my decisions.. Thank you for your passion. Your blog has encouraged greatly. Blessings, Kim