Pregnancy Journal: Family Tragedy and More…

Me at almost 14 weeks!

It’s been a rough day.  Well, for the last short time here, since I found out.  I will snuggle my babies extra hard when they wake up….

We have a family member.  Really my brother-in-law’s sister (think about that for a moment) but his whole family is close with ours, we often get together for the holidays.  They had 5 children.  I say “had” because they do not have that many now. 

Their first two babies were born at home and healthy.  Then, they were going to have another baby, just a few months after Bekah was born.  But something went wrong with the birth — cord prolapse (highly, highly rare, and in many cases it is possible to transfer to a hospital for an emergency c-section with no problems) — and their baby died.  So very sad.

They got pregnant again just a month or so later, and about a year later (June 2009) delivered another little boy.  Unfortunately it was quickly determined that he had DiGeorge syndrome, a chromosomal abnormality.  He went through tons of hospitalizations, tube feedings, even heart surgery.  But he pulled through and it looked like everything would be okay.

They had another baby, Monday night, a healthy baby boy.  But that night their 18-month-old got sick.  The father rushed him to the hospital, as they had many times before, while the mother stayed home with the brand new baby.  But this time…he died.

I can’t imagine.

All I can think is my babies!  I could not lose them.  They are all precious.  Whether I have just found out they are coming, or they have been mine for years, they are mine.  The minor annoyances that are endless diapers, night wakings, tantrums, and attitude problems are so temporary.  And do they really matter?  When the alternative is to not have them?  I’d rather never sleep again than lose my child!!

Besides this, things are going well.  We did finally get Daniel to sleep through the night more often.  He did Saturday – Monday nights, three in a row!  No grains plus yogurt before bed helps him.  It means I’m getting more rest, which I really need right now.  I’m feeling so much better when I get 7 - 9 uninterrupted hours of sleep!

Speaking of sleep, my second body pillow has joined me in bed.  I usually can hold off until around 18 weeks, but I just couldn’t this time.  I slept Sunday night with just one, but could not get comfortable.  I woke up with a headache from poor sleep and being uncomfortable and it would not go away.  I had a headache all day, literally, and even resting in the evening did not make it go away.  At bedtime I added that second pillow to my bed and tucked myself in between them — one supporting my back, one between my legs and supporting my belly.  I slept so well like that.  I need that when I’m pregnant!  Ben does hate it, but he wants me to be comfortable.  So I got a nice 8 hours of sleep, which was great.

I’m definitely feeling bigger now.  I’m nearly 14 weeks now, so definitely in the second trimester.  It’s gone so fast, and I have a feeling it will keep going fast.

I’m struggling to eat enough.  I’m so busy and with us being grain-free, and never buying processed foods anyway, there is just not a lot of grab-and-go food available.  I’ve tried to have leftovers around, and I bought some peanut butter the other day.  I’m actually eating celery and peanut butter as I write this.  Pickles (fermented) and cheese have been a popular snack for me, too.  I occasionally bake almond flour muffins, and the other day I made strawberry lemonade to go with them (if you want that recipe, you have to join us on Facebook, because I released it exclusively there!  But it’s totally sugar-free, not even honey!).  I’ve eaten a lot of plain meat since we got our whole cow.  I need more stuff I can just “eat” without cooking, but that’s really so hard!  I’ll be experimenting with some other ideas soon, hopefully.

It’s definitely important to eat a lot now, though.  I’m starting — slowly — to gain weight now, as my baby gets bigger and my blood volume increases.  But that’s to be expected!  The hardest thing for me (besides eating enough) is remembering to rest.  Monday, when I had the all-day headache, I certainly didn’t help the matter by insisting on cleaning my entire house!  But it was bothering me, so I did it.  I’m trying to keep things more organized and get some better systems in place before the baby comes.

That is where we are this week.  We’ll see where we are next week.  Bekah’s party is this weekend, so I’m sure that’s something!