I am almost at 20 weeks now! I can’t believe it’s almost halfway. This is the point where most parents find out they’re having: boy or girl. Of course, because we aren’t having any ultrasounds, we’re not finding out. It’s been…a little weird.
Normally I’d look forward specifically to the middle of the pregnancy, because then we’d find out “who” this little person was. Plus then I’d start feeling the baby move (which I already have this time). The second half I’d spend finding a name and preparing things specifically for this little person, as well as bonding with him/her.
But this time I’m not really looking forward to the middle in any particular way. I mean, YAY, I’m halfway there, I feel my baby move now, I actually look pregnant and not just fat. That’s all great! But…there’s not any major event or milestone that I’m looking towards.
Pregnancy without interventions (we’ve had NO testing this time, except for basic urine tests, blood pressure, baby’s position, etc.) is really different. I don’t anticipate particular appointments because I’ll be taking particular tests. In fact, though I really love going to each of my appointments, they’re just a natural, calm part of the pregnancy. They’re not these exciting, high-stress, how’s-the-baby-now kind of events.
In my first two pregnancies I did think of appointments that way. ”This is my internal exam…this is my blood test…this is my GD test…” each was an event in and of itself, a new ‘rite of passage’ towards motherhood.
But now…I’m just sitting back and enjoying my pregnancy for what it is. I’m not worried about external measures. There’s a small amount of worry in it — primarily because it “isn’t normal.” But there’s also freedom in it. I can concentrate on my body and my baby, and feel what I need and do it. I focus on my cravings and my thoughts and my feelings. I spend regular times just paying attention to my baby tapping away at me.
Isn’t that what pregnancy should be about? Getting closer to ourselves and our babies? And then when our babies are born, we feel comfortable in tune with them and ourselves. We know to pay attention to our instincts and do what feels right, instead of second-guessing ourselves and wondering what someone else would have us do. When we get poor advice, we shrug it off because we know it doesn’t matter.
Part of that freedom is doing this for the third time, of course. I have done it before and I do what it’s all about. People don’t freak me out when they say “But what about…” because it’s probably something I’ve heard many times. It’s not that easy the first time to ignore that stuff. I know because I didn’t, even when I should have.
I read What to Expect When You’re Expecting cover to cover, many times while pregnant the first time (an absolutely useless book if you want a natural experience, by the way, don’t even glance at it!). I paged through it a couple of times during my second pregnancy. I haven’t even seen the book (or any book) this time. I don’t want to read stupid mainstream drivel. I do trust my body, and my midwives, and I don’t need books that freak me out about absolutely nothing.
And by the way, if you’re not reading me over at Babble yet, you are missing out. There have been some seriously awesome posts this week! Check it out:
[Insert Babble posts]
How do you feel about pregnancy? Do you feel that without all the extra tests and stress that things “go better” for you? Or do you feel better after the tests, knowing things are okay?
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TESTING!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE being pregnant. It is the best time in my life. I hate the tests. Seriously considering going unassisted if I get pregnant again.
Love the smell of baby in my arms right after birth though!
So glad to hear you say this! I've also noticed that I'm much calmer and less stressed this pregnancy. We did have an ultrasound (its a girl!) to confirm that there was no repeat placenta previa after my last delivery, but that is one of the few tests I've agreed to. Testing my own blood sugar at home for a week rather that drink the sugar water, and this way, I get to see my own insulin response to foods during that week.
Although I did have ultrasounds with both of my pregnancies (once because of second trimester bleeding and the other time because of rapid weight gain and wondering if it was twins), we made a point of not finding out the gender. There aren't too many surprises in life, so we thought it was fun to wait to find out. I was so sure my daughter was a boy, so what a pleasant surprise she was! Both were born at home, and it was great. I hope your pregnancy continues to be smooth.
Speaking of Babble, are you aware that someone wrote a post about you over there today?
Honestly, Alex, I wish you hadn't told me that. I'm trying not to read anymore of these type of posts because the entire comments section is a huge assassination of my character, from people who have read almost nothing I've written and do not know me in real life. For the record, I would never, EVER post something like that about another blogger or a stranger…no matter how I felt or how much I disagreed. Because I do not know them and I don't think it's particularly Christian to start what you know will be a direct attack and judgment of another person, even if that was not YOUR intention. Because when you put something like that out there, and you know that will happen, you're responsible for it. I don't agree AT ALL that it is okay to attack another person like that.
I read your piece and your follow-up, as well as the piece Alex mentioned above. And I say (if you haven't read it yet) is not to waste your time reading it. The writer pretty much just uses your post as a lead in to write a really long post about HERSELF. It's not really about you, it's about her. Almost like she is using this "shock value" of your post to get more eyes on her writing. (I guess it worked, cause I read it.) It's all about her blogging history, her blogging failures, her life, her kids, blah blah blah. Stay positive and don't bother reading that crap.