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By Adrienne Urban, Contributing Writer
“Oh, Be Careful Little Mouth What You Say…”
Seems our culture has gotten a lot less careful about a lot of things, especially things regarding sexuality.
- TV programs air things today that years ago would have been relegated to R-rated movie theaters — or worse!
- Magazine covers are so lewd that I cringe whenever going through the check-out line, which–thanks to our garden, our CSA, our co-op, and the fact that I make almost everything from scratch (including coconut milk, chocolate chips and foaming soap)–I rarely grace with my presence anymore.
- Clothing has gotten so outlandish that it is even hard to shop in even the most conservative at stores, and I struggle with what my husband and sons end up looking at, even at church.
But what about our words?
Language reflects a great deal about who we are.
I think that, as Christians (and moral persons of every religious persuasion), we need to be careful what we say and think more carefully about what our words mean rather than just pick up what the culture is using and adopt it as our own.
Now I already was concerned and uncomfortable whenever I heard words like:
- “scr*w”
- “s*cks” and
- “bl*ws” make their way into mainstream speech. I know, it probably seems strange to you that I am putting the “modesty asterisks” in there, but I just can’t help it. Knowing what their original meaning is, it really grosses me out to type them and well, my 10 year old often reads my posts, so I’d rather keep him a bit more innocent for a while longer
.
More recently, however, I have been increasingly discouraged to hear this newcomer in our common everyday speech:
The word “hottie.”
I mean, I have seen this word all over the place. For example: young ladies with t-shirts emblazoned with the term, describing themselves as such conservative Christians (and I mean really conservative) on Facebook complimenting each other on how “hot” they are, or what “hotties” they are.
Now, I never liked the term “hot” to begin with. (Think about it–animals are said to be “in heat” when they are ready to mate.) But — a “hottie?” Is that really something we should be aspiring to be? Think I’m blowing things out of proportion?
Well, here are some online resources (of varying authority) of definitions and origins of these terms:
- Wiki Answers has a great analysis of the evolution of the term “s*cks”, stating that, “[T]oday’s overuse is much more disparagingly insulting, to the point of a socially unacceptable vulgarism, yet very popular among both sexes.” I agree wholeheartedly.
- The Online Etymology Dictionary covers the history of the word “scr*w”
- The Urban Dictionary goes into the meaning of the term “bl*ws”. The definitions here are perhaps the most telling since they are written by people who are stating what they mean when they use these words.
- Macmillan defines “hottie” as “a sexually attractive person.” Oxford Dictionary shares the same definition.
- Macmillan defines “hot” as 1. having to do with sexual feelings or images, a. sexually attractive b. eager to have sex.
- Most disturbing are these entries in the Urban Dictionary. For obvious reasons, I will not type them out here. Now, I ask you, do you want someone to be thinking these thoughts about you, about your wife, your girlfriend, or your daughter? Or for that matter, your son? I sure don’t. In fact, if I have any say in it, if a young lady were to call my son a “hottie,” my husband and I would need to have a conversation with her before she ever spent time with my son again.
In the first place, our culture is already much too focused on beauty and youth. I’d rather we get away from focusing on how we look and think more about what is going on in our hearts. But if we’re going to compliment someone’s appearance, how about the words “pretty,” “handsome,” or “charming?” I know, they sound a bit archaic to our modern ears, but I’d sure rather be a fuddy-duddy than use words that add to the already excessive sexualization that our culture foists upon all of us.
I don’t at all mean this to come off as some “holier than thou” post. I have sinned with the best of them.
Like the Apostle Paul said, “I am the chief of sinners.” I regret things that I have done and said and thought.
But now all that I can do is ask forgiveness and trust that I can walk forward in grace.
What I hope for this to be is the start of us thinking about the words that we choose to use–what they mean and what meaning they convey to others, whether we mean for them to do that or not.
Words have meaning. Shouldn’t we aim for good ones to come off of our lips and into the ears of others?
In the words of John Leonard, a Milton Scholar, (one of my husbands’ colleagues), “The corrupting of innocence begins with a corrupting of language.”
What do you think? Is this “over the top” or “right on?”
Adrienne Urban of Whole New Mom is a wife and a homeschooling mother of two boys, one of whom has Asperger’s and life-threatening food allergies. In her past life she worked in the financial services industry and also taught in Japan. She has a passion to help others navigate the sea of information on the road to healthier lives while trusting God for the results of their efforts. Because she loves to (and can’t afford not to ), she specializes in frugal living and simplifying special diets (allergen-, gluten- and sugar-free). You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.
Right on! Very good reminder. Thank you!
Thanks for speaking up on this, I totally agree.
Wow… you know I never really though of it that way….but it really makes sense!
I totally agree that our words really influence our actions!
Thanks for this post!!
I'm right there with you on how we use words these days in our culture. When I work outside in the yard, I'll hear the F word at least once as people stroll down the road past our home. It really irritates me to be in a grocery store or another big store and hear the F word 5-6 times before I even get to the checkout line. In my entire unsheltered childhood, I only heard the F word a few times!
I realize that people who don't claim to be Christians have the freedom of speech to talk however they want, using "hottie" and all kinds of sexually-intertwined words to describe themselves, but those who claim to be a child of the King, Jesus Christ, don't have the freedom to speak in a sexualized way to everyone. And when someone who claims to be a Christian uses the abbreviation "OMG", that is automatically taking God's name in vain, even if they meant, in their hearts, "Oh, my gosh!" because everyone else interprets it in its original form.
I don't think you're over the edge at all. I think people aren't considering the spiritual consequences of the words they are using, especially if they are Christians. When people who don't claim to be Christians hear those claiming to be Christians talking and swearing like everyone else, it sends a spiritual message that being a follower of Jesus isn't worth it, because it's no different than not following – the lifestyle and language is the same. It doesn't bother me if people talk in the latest slang, but it does bother me if the latest slang is sexual or swearing.
Julieanne
http://www.JoyInOurJourney.com
I completely agree with you and have often been so offended while in the checkout line that on many, many occasions I have spoken to the store manager. I explain each time that it's embarrassing, it's insulting, and I simply don't want my 10 & 12 year olds to have to deal with such trash!
The language thing is a different monster altogether, but we are careful about what we watch and listen to. I could really go on and on here, but I simply want to thank you for posting on this topic. I've thought many times about doing the same but just haven't had the nerve to go there. Maybe now I will.
Blessings, ~Lisa
I think what is most interesting is how quickly we as a society "forget" the original meanings of some of these offensive words. I know I am guilty of saying things that, if I heard my toddler say them, would make me blush. Satan works incredibly fast and sneaky to make people think that the things they are saying, doing, and seeing are "normal" and benign. It reminds me that I need to be especially on guard to protect myself and my family from his influence.
THANK YOU so much. Our society as a whole needs this very talk given to them. I even cringe when I watch the news and they call children…."kids", or policemen "cops". Thanks again….I came over from Whole New Mom….really enjoy it!
Right on!!! Great message!
Interesting thoughts! "Bl*w" I definitely tend to shy away from, since I think the connotation with that is more directly vulgar, but the others, not so much. I don't think they're the most polite terms — I mean, I would never say them in front of Grandma or children, but I don't think I would censor myself with them around other young adults. I'm trying to think of situations in which I would actually say them, like, "Look at all this traffic on the freeway, we're screwed!" and I can't say that I find that altogether inappropriate. Still, I do think you bring up a very important point here in that we ought to consider where our slang words come from.
With "hot" though? Even with the potential origins pointed out, I still consider that to be a fairly innocent term. Is it appropriate for children or teens? No, because what it really means is "sexy." So, to use it in that context, with adults, I think it serves its purpose well. If my friend is getting dressed for a date with her husband, she might rather hear from me, "Ooh, don't you look hot!?" rather than, "Oh you look pretty in that dress!" Know what I mean?
Anyway, great post, very thought-provoking and well-said. I'll try to think twice the next time someone frustrates me and I mutter "screw you!" under my breath — lol!
No, you are not "over the top". You are "right on". Thanks for being so brave to post such a message.
I totally agree, Adrienne. I am glad to see someone speak up about this. I can remember seeing graffiti back in the '70s using the work "s*cks" telling who was doing it and what they were doing it to! I just cringe whenever I hear people, especially believers use that term. I have told my children about this and that that is why I don't use it and don't want them to use it!
Thank you for the reminder! I grew up in a home where you weren’t allowed to say “shut up” much less “that s*cks.” However, I married a good christian guy who had grown up in a home where anything short of an actual swear word was allowed. We then finished college at a secular university and certain words started creeping in my vocabulary. Now we have two baby girls and I’m starting to realize what I’m saying. They’re still just babies, but we’ve been trying to really think about the words we use every day. Your article was a good reminder that I’m not the only “fuddy-duddy”
Also, I love your site!