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By Erin Odom, Contributing Writer
When I was a kid, not everyone went to preschool. I didn’t. And even when I started kindergarten, I only went for half a day.
But, at least in my part of the country, it seems preschool for 3, 4 and even 2 year olds is really pushed.
My oldest daughter was barely a year old when friends started asking me if I was going to send her to preschool. Honestly, I hadn’t given it much thought—except that I didn’t attend preschool myself and went on to have a successful academic career. In fact, I don’t feel like I missed out at all for not attending preschool.
But preschool seems to be the norm these days. To be honest, I’m not so sure it’s necessary.
However, as a mother who hopes to homeschool one day, I’ve started thinking about what I can do to prepare both myself and my daughters for in-home learning now—during the “preschool” years.
My Preschool “Plan”
Not knowing much about homeschool myself, I’ve spent the last few months unofficially interviewing other homeschooling moms. I’ve mostly talked to moms of multiple children (3 or more) who have been homeschooling for years. (Some already have grandchildren!) The resounding piece of advice they gave me was to incorporate learning into the every day.
Learning as we live—instead of a daily, planned-out lesson. That’s my preschool plan—at least for this year with my 3-year-old. We may reevaluate at 4.
And even if we do change to a more academic focus at 4 or 5 or 7, more than anything, I want to instill in my girls how to be godly women—godly homemakers. That part is maybe the most challenging for me because I feel so inadequate as a homemaker myself (still—after nearly 7 years!). I want them to develop a love for reading, history, foreign language, culture and, yes, even math and science. But I also want my girls to know how to care for their families and keep their homes.
For now, it’s translating into a flexible routine I’ve developed after being inspired by this post from Keeper of the Home. It means taking time each morning for leading my girls in a devotion and spending more one-on-one time with my 3-year-old during my 10-month-old’s morning nap.
Yesterday’s “preschool” looked like this:
As I continue to flesh out what the next couple years of preschool will look like around our home, I also really like Kate’s project-based homeschooling approach. When I read her post, it was relief to find an approach to preschool homeschool that sounded flexible and fun.
Now, I am not saying there is never a place for actually sitting down and teaching children letters, numbers and other preschool skills. I think there can be a place for that, and there are many free and affordable preschool resources all over the web. Next week, I’ll be posting about some of these resources in my monthly Parenting on a Penny series on my blog.
Thankfully, “learning as we live,” is almost always free.
Erin is a believer in Jesus Christ and stay-at-home wife and mom of two little redheaded girls. She writes for Carolina Weekly newspaper group, Modern Alternative Mama,Lake Norman Mommies and Jack’s Changing Table. She loves mission work, speaking Spanish, breastfeeding, cloth diapering and researching how to live a healthier lifestyle. She blogs about breastfeeding, natural living and homemaking at The Humbled Homemaker.
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You are very blessed to have come to such an understanding while your children are still so little. I see so many parents pushing their preschool age children way beyond what they need to be doing. I made that mistake with my oldest two children. Now with my younger two, who are 2 and 4, we are taking a much more relaxed approach and I can see the benefits of it, especially in their enthusiasm for learning.
Thanks for this post. My twins are almost 4 and we incorporate learning each and every day also. I also do sit down and have more "formal" lessons with them, usually only 15 minutes at this age. They are already loving addition so it's fun to have math lessons with them. We spend a lot of time on letter talk and now I've been trying to use more science words in their lives, like describing trees as evergreen and deciduous. They understand so much at this age if you just pay attention and capture what they are interested in! It seems that preschool is also pushed where I live. All I see is children getting lost in the "herd" and not treated for individual learning.
I do have to say one thing and I hope that you hear it at as an opinion, because I know we are all different. Please consider raising your girls as powerful, confident and happy women. Not as Godly Homemakers. I'm all for homemaking. I'm a stay-at-home mom with a degree in Architecture. I cook, I clean, I serve healthy homemade meals. I'm also very confident and advocate for my children and a happy woman that wasn't taught to feel guilty about leaving a load of laundry too long, or not making the bed if I choose not to. My house is my domain and I'm proud of it, I keep it because I can and I want to, not because I feel like I'm not a good person or a good wife if I don't. Anyway, that is just one opinion among many.
I don't think its necessary at all! But Haha i have let my son go for the past couple of weeks..against my initial judgement because my husband wanted him to go:/ but he has loved it! They are great about. Working with his different diet and also they were fine with him not having his vaccinations:) so it has worked out good and he comes home singing sweet songs and talking about his day:) so sweet… only worry is now is that im going to become so comfortable w someone else teaching him I might start considering public school! Haha I don't want to
I was with some friends the other day and one was apologetic when she said she wasn't able to get her daughter back in "the" preschool in our small town. Other moms nodded in sympathy. "Oh," I thought, "Am I supposed to feel bad for not putting my kids in preschool? I mean, we home school, so maybe I should be searching for a Christian preschool curriculum."
That doesn't mean my two little preschoolers (and toddler) aren't learning, though. They eagerly watch brother as he completes his lessons online and my kids love using ABCmouse.com to learn all sorts of great stuff. We also heavily use documentaries, educational games and quality books to teach them.
Nah.
I never went to preschool and don't see it as terribly necessary anyway. I turned out just fine.
So, do I think preschool is necessary? Definitely not. But a high value placed on lifelong learning? Absolutely.
With my oldest, the learning while living came really naturally. Particularly reading stuff. With my second daughter I had to be a lot more intentional about it. Their personalities play a huge role in their learning.
Great article Erin. I totally agree. I don't have any plans to put Annie in preschool and we hope to homeschool all of our children.
Quite honestly, I don't want Annie to be SOCIALIZED. Blah!
We are working on a schedule that seems a lot like yours…..but Annie is only two, so it's mostly just play for us.
We do formal preschool and it is necessary for us, but I think different things work for different families. I am pretty old fashioned when it comes to my thoughts on education, and I am quite structured because it helps us all to stay sane. I like to start the way I intend to continue, and that means intentional lessons. I also think the self discipline and rhythm of it is really nice, and something my kids benefit from.
@Carmen–I'm blessed to be surrounded by many more experienced, wiser women. I have several friends with 4, 5, 6 kids, etc. that I glean from. I'm so thankful!
@Amanda–Thanks for your comments! Twins–wow! My sis is expecting twins right now! As a Christian, I feel my ultimate goal is to glorify God in each area of my life.I believe that it should be a joy to serve my family and put their needs above my own. I wish I could say that I'm always on top of my laundry and that my house looks immaculate, but as I look around right now there are toys, diapers (that need to be stuffed!), and clothes that need to be folded all over my living room!
I have degrees in journalism and Spanish. I am so thankful for my education, but I regret that I didn't prepare for being a wife/mother/homemaker. In fact, even after more than 6 years of marriage, I still feel so clueless with how to keep a home. My mother was a WONDERFUL homemaker, but she did everything for me and my siblings. I don't blame her. I blame my laziness. I want my daughters to be prepared for whatever road in life God calls them to take, and I think part of that is instilling in them homemaking/life skills (that they will need even if they never marry!) like basic cleaning and cooking, etc. I often think that I wish I had taken home ec classes (did they even offer them??) in college because there are days I would much rather research and write an article than bake something from scratch because I was trained in the latter and am having to self-teach everything else.
No, preschool isn't necessary. I never went, either. That said, my son attends.
He started in the 2.5-year-old class because he was potty-trained, very active and energetic, and stuck at home with Mommy and a new baby. He LOVED going to 'school' two mornings a week to play, paint, eat snack, sing songs, and read stories. The class was actually called "toddler playgroup." There wasn't any 'academic' work going on–I don't believe that play-based preschool harms kids at all. It's not the choice for everyone but I wouldn't appreciate anyone looking down on me for choosing it for my son. All kids are different…some do fine staying home with Mom and others really thrive getting out and burning off some energy. Plus, I got some alone time with the new baby and some time to pick up around the house while the baby napped.
He is almost 4 now and started his second year of preschool a couple of weeks ago. He has the same lead 'teacher' this year, whom we LOVE, and starting next week they are going to start learning a letter a week. This means they'll color B pictures, learn letter sounds, eat B snacks, etc. We do this kind of work at home with my son, and started a couple of months ago. He loves to play computer games, come up with lists of words that start with certain letters, and learn to write them. It's not necessary that he learn these things at this age, but it interests him, so we ran with it. I think that's what homeschooling is all about–adjusting your 'curriculum' or daily plan to your child's needs. Some kids need a little more structure than others, and that's okay. Cam loves when we 'play preschool' so I figure we're doing the right thing for him.
Preschool isn't necessary for most children. The times when I would recommend it are when parents work full time and do not have time to spend with their children. At that point, it's best to rely on people who have early-childhood training to work with children rather than say, daycare or babysitters. For parents who have the time to invest in their children's education, preschool is unnecessary, but it can be a valuable experience in the right circumstances. Parents who read with their children, sing songs, count buttons on shirts, identify shapes together, cook, paint, allow daily access to art mediums (paper, crayons, scissors, glue, etc), and model good life skills (getting up, making breakfast together, making beds together, playing, resting, etc), can easily provide all of the "skills" that preschool tries to teach. If, for instance, a family only has one child, and access to other children via groups is somewhat limited, preschool can be fun for a very social child simply for the social aspect.
As a kindergarten teacher in my days before having children of my own, I didn't often notice much difference between students who had and had not attended preschool–what I did notice was the parent involvement. If families were involved in active learning, the children modeled that behavior. When parents expressed interest in their children, the children thrived. If parents were too busy and wound up in their own personal lives, the children suffered academically and socially (even with 2-3 years of preschool beforehand). If a parent is too over-worked to make breakfast and sends the child to school for the school food, well then, the consequences will follow. Kids cannot focus if they are not well-nourished, both in their tummies and their hearts.
For parents considering homeschooling at all, I highly suspect that time for your children is not a factor–you're clearly invested. If you have the time to cook dinner (even just barely) and then eat it together, there's time for connection in a day. Even a little predictable connection is better than none! If you chat about your day and the days that will follow (and the special events coming up), your child learns about time. If you have them chop the celery for soup, it teaches them independence and cooperation. So many ways for children to learn in a day. There's no need to do anything special to make it happen–it's like a child learning to walk and talk–sometimes it seems slow and then things take off. If you can save the money–go for it! Your children *will* learn their numbers, letter sounds, letter names, etc…
@Jennifer, thanks for that perspective.
@Anne, I agree about the structure. We have set up a flexible routine this year, based off of Keeper of the Home's suggestions. Practicing this routine is actually part of our "learning by living" plan.
@Lindsey, it sounds like your son has had a great experience! I would hope no one would look down on you either. I have many friends who send their children to preschool, and it's a great choice for their family. I just don't think it's *necessary.* I think each family should pray and look at their situation but not feel pressured to send their kid to preschool just because it's become the norm. It sounds like it was a great choice for your family!
My daughter did attend a once/weekly playgroup for a few months. It was mother-run and extremely unstructured. The kids were undisciplined and unruly, so we took her out. (I knew they were because I had to volunteer periodically, and I saw it!) She received lots of social interaction through 2.5 hours per week in a Bible class while I attend Bible study, as well as at a free weekly dance class at a local church and at church on Sundays.
I love how you "play preschool" and pick up on his interests! We are focusing a lot of our conversations right now on science because my daughter is so intrigued by it (which is SO funny because it was always my least favorite subject!).
While formal preschool may not be necessary, teaching your girls to be homemakers is so devaluing. Yes, it's good to teach them how to care for a home, but why just your girls? Why not boys, too? Teaching them that the best thing they can aspire to is to cook and clean is really sad. I feel bad for your daughters. They are worth so much more than you are teaching them!
Ashley, with all respect, I think you completely misunderstood my post. If you will scroll above and read my bio, you will see that I am the mother of two girls. I do not currently have sons. If I did, I would have mentioned that I think it's important to teach all my children how to care for the home. However, I don't.
Teaching my girls (and any future boys) how to care for the home is very important to me because I was not taught these things as a child. Do I think it's all my girls can aspire to become? Absolutely not. I am prepping them for college–if they so desire and God leads them to attend college. I think it's important for women to be trained for a profession AS WELL AS be trained to care for the home.
I graduated with degrees in both journalism and Spanish and a minor in English. After college, I obtained my teaching license and took some hours towards my masters degree (but then decided that was not what God was leading me to do).
Since college, I have worked as a teacher, writer, newspaper reporter, in marketing for a natural parenting company and now, blogger and freelance writer as well.
The problem? I feel adequate for all those things–but completely inadequate for homemaking. I have had to learn as a I go. I had no idea how to wash clothes or cook anything but slice and bake cookies when I went to college. I want my girls to know how to do much more than that. I want to prepare them for homemaking, motherhood, etc.–and help hone whatever other skills God has given them.
My husband helps out around the house, and if we ever have sons they will do the same. I want to teach them how to help around the house, about fatherhood, and help hone whatever skills God has given them.
I hope that clears things up for you, Ashley!