2. 2. Share with her several of the verses about what the Bible teaches about debt and tell her that while you expect she will pay someday, it is up to her whether she wants to continue to wear the chains of slavery from the unpaid debt (Proverbs 22:7). You expect her to obey Christ and His commandments but you have forgiven her sin against you.

Should I just continue to try and get her to pay me thru emails and messages on facebook? Should I call it a loss on my part and she will be the one that has to answer to the Lord later? Or do you think it would be ok from a Christian perspective to take her to court?

What should Christians do when faced with a debtor that wont pay?
Does Forgiving a debtor, such as in the Lord’s prayer, mean forgiving the act AND the money?

I agree with almost 100% of your post. I think that many people are living a lifestyle that is paid for on a wing and a prayer, unfortunately. I used to work for a bankruptcy attorney, and it was very sad to see so many clients believed they “needed” the most recent, most expensive toys in order to feel accepted by their friends, coworkers, and neighbors. But in the end, they just couldn’t afford to live the lifestyle they thought they were entitled to enjoy.

Where I am not *completely* in agreement with you is a mortgage, though. Here’s why: We all gotta pay for a place to live. (Unless you are blessed to have someone give you a free home, but very few of us are.) Why not pay for a mortgage rather than rent, in my opinion. At least with a mortgage you’re earning some equity. I think the problem most people get into is that they fall for the advice of many loan officers and real estate agents who say that we need the biggest house we can afford. Not true! We need four walls and a ceiling. Anything else is a blessing. (Okay, that’s kinda hardcore, but hopefully you understand what I’m trying to say: we don’t need our dream home. We may *want* it, but we need to be content with what we can afford.) Many people ran into foreclosure problems recently because they had the McMansions, and they were mortgaged to the hilt of their budget. They didn’t plan ahead to think about the “what ifs”: what if I lose my job, what if I get sick and rack up some medical bills, what if there is a death in the family, etc.

My husband and I have a mortgage, no other debt at all. In the area where we live, we’d actually pay MORE in rent, but we found a great little 1400 sq. ft. home on one acre of land. Our interest rate is 4.25%. We could never rent a place like this at the price of our mortgage. We can plant fruit trees, vegetables, whatever. The land we own can be a tool toward more self-sufficient living. We pay extra payments each month to bring the principal on the loan down.

I understand that not everyone should be homeowners. Maintenance can get expensive if you don’t know how to take care of certain repairs yourself. People who move around a lot might not need a purchased home, either.

But for those of us who do want to “settle down,” a mortgage can be a great tool. We just need to be careful that we don’t buy more than we can afford. Like you said, debt can be a great tool–if used wisely.

(Another little personal note: deducting our mortgage interest on our yearly taxes is a blessing. We know that this deduction may not be available in the future, but it has helped us greatly each year so far. We tithe to our church and give to charities, but that alone wouldn’t be enough for us to itemize our tax deductions. So the interest on our mortgage has actually helped lower our yearly tax liability.)

With that said, I graduated with more than $5k in credit card debt, a car payment, and almost $20K in student loan debt. My poor husband, ha! Anyways, I was not a Christian, and debt was taught to me as being a tool. Within our first year of marriage, we paid off my car and credit cards. Within 2 years, we finished off the student loan leaving us completely debt free. My husband had a minimum wage job and I had was on a VERY low salary. We made it work and got it done. Since then, we’ve remained completely debt free (four years into marriage now).

I tell that to show I’m no saint. But because of the experience of debt, I know better now. And I believe God’s word to be true. Debt is dangerous. It is not necessary. And it’s completely possible to do what Barry did. We have also been where we see no way for bills to be paid, but God never fails to provide. We only have to ask. Pray God sized prayers people! He loves it!

I think it’s great you want to attack that debt! Good luck! You sound like you have great resolve.
And I don’t have issues at all with mortgages. We had one ourselves, but we just don’t want another one – but we realize it’s necessary for some.
You have a good head on your shoulders – thanks for the great comment!

My husband and I are not debt free, but we do plan on attacking our debt aggressively over the next few years. It’s honestly not a lot comparatively speaking — our cars are paid for, I owe about 3500 for student loans and then less than 2000 combined for credit (mostly mine — the problem started in college when I lost my job and then couldn’t afford payments; I’d always paid over the amount due before then).

We both agree that debt is not a place we’d really like to be in — we’re looking at the possibility of selling his car and putting it towards that (I stay at home and we really only need one).

I agree with some of the other posters that it is very hard to go to school without debt. Definitely it can be done (in fact, my loans are only from my last year — the other years were paid with scholarships and cash, and I went to a small local school in part to keep down the costs) but part of that is at what cost?

I moved out to go to my last two years of college and if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have needed any loans. I worked to pay my rent and food and utilities and for the most part I was frugal. I could have stayed with my parents, but honestly, it wasn’t good for my health – physical or mental. (I come from a loving home, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t issues!) $3500 is definitely worth the cost of better health to me. And again, with the working several jobs and full time school — I physically don’t think I could have done that. I don’t possess the strength and endurance to go very far with little sleep, poor food, extremely aggravated chemical sensitivities and an even worse social life than I already had. :-/

Also, for us we’ll definitely want to look into buying within the next two years or so. We only want a modest home, and we could buy one in our price range for 1/2 or less what we’re currently paying in rent… the good news is that we can plant a garden here to keep costs down, but we definitely want our own home that we can personalize and add livestock too! Lower monetary costs and increased productivity and self sufficiency will make us happy Plus, we can put the extra money that would have gone to rent back into home renovations and paying off the mortgage early. It’s a win situation enough for us!

I’m a seminary trained person, so I don’t come at the Bible lightly, either. I just don’t believe it is a rulebook, that’s all. I think Jesus calls us to live a certain kind of life, but I believe there is flexibility within the overarching ideals.

And I know debt is risky. I agree. But for us, it was the way to become the people God was calling us to be in the world…strict budget or no budget at all, we could not have afforded $90,000 in 2 1/2 years when neither of us had skill sets above minimum wage. Other people have different stories, and that’s okay. I am just trying to bring up the fact that our very system is flawed. I agree that living a non-mainstream life is great, but the system itself is messed up. Systemic change is slow and tedious. My children will have college savings, so for them, hopefully the system will be different. Because I know what I know, I can change the way for the future. That’s all I can do. But I really am thankful for student loans. I’m thankful I can more than afford the bills each month because of the education I got taking them in. But it is a gamble. And I have life insurance and disability to protect myself if something happens.