A new response to people talking about problems has come up: “First world problems.”
I absolutely can’t stand it.
Now — there are first-world problems that are kind of silly. Like, if you’re complaining about having to sleep on Egyptian cotton sheets because your silk sheets are dirty, that’s a first-world problem. Or even if you can only find 73% dark chocolate and you really want 80% dark, that’s a first-world problem. These are truly trivial in the grand scheme and you probably even know it when you say it. It’s potentially a momentary frustration, but does it really matter? No, not so much.
But the thing is, most of the time when someone says “First world problems” they’re not talking about anything that silly or trivial. In fact, they often use it to write off real problems as trivial when they are not. This is wrong.
What Is a First-World Problem?
A first-world problem is the kind of trivial nonsense that I mentioned above, like how dark your chocolate is or which brand of luxury sheets you can afford (supposing you have such at all!). It’s something that doesn’t overall affect your life — it doesn’t change your health, wellness, financial situation, or anything that is truly meaningful. A store being out of your favorite ice cream flavor is pretty trivial. These things are minor, self-limiting, and just not a big deal in the long run.
Anything that affects your health, wellness, finances, living situation, etc. (whether physically or emotionally) or that is meaningful in some way, is not a “first world problem.” Why is that?
The phrase “first world problem” is used to dismiss someone’s concern. It means: “That problem only is happening because you live in the first world. It’s stupid and you shouldn’t care about it. Go try living in a third-world country and see what real problems are like instead.”
It minimizes someone’s problem. It tells them to ‘get over it.’ It tells them that they don’t really matter, and the things that bother them don’t either. It’s dismissive and it’s rude!
Problems That Are Not Really First World Problems
I have heard people say “first world problems” when someone describes a problem like:
- “I’m having trouble dealing with my friends or neighbors”
- “I’m having trouble finding healthy food I can afford”
- “My husband and I aren’t getting along”
- “I can’t figure out how to pack healthy, affordable lunches for my family”
- “My child is struggling with a food intolerance/reaction”
These things are real, and they are serious! Perhaps, technically, they only or usually occur in the “first world” but they are related to health, wellness, and relationships. It’s incredibly rude to write them off!
When people complain about their finances or their struggles to afford adequate (or even healthy) food, people often write it off as a ‘first world problem’ because “All those people in the third world are starving, they live on $1 a day!” Okay, and…? First of all, with their living standards and their culture, that $1 will go a lot further than $1 would in the U.S. And second, that means that we ought to donate to charities and help to improve their situations. But it does not mean that our problems are not valid just because they have problems too!
If someone’s having a problem that is meaningful to them, it should be taken seriously.
All Problems are Relative
We all have problems, and what is a “big problem” to one person may not be to another. One person may be struggling in their marriage. Another may be struggling with their housing situation. Another may be struggling to afford healthy food that doesn’t make their family sick. They are all different problems. We cannot compare them and rate them as being ‘worse’ than another.
It’s important to accept others where they are, and accept their problems too. We need to listen to them when they are struggling and not tell them “Well, you know, so-and-so really has it worse.” That is not what a true friend would do. And if it’s a random person on the internet? Remember what your mom used to say and if you don’t have anything to say, don’t say anything at all.
We could all use a little more understanding, a little more compassion. We could all use a little more love. Would Jesus have listened to someone relate their problem and reply with “That doesn’t really matter, look at all those poor people over there with real problems.” No! He might have some gently chiding advice for them, but he’d never dismiss them. We shouldn’t either. (This is getting dangerously close to another issue that bugs me, Biblical judgment, but I’ll save that for another day.)
Everybody’s problems are real to them. Everybody’s situation, thoughts, feelings, and so on are just as valid as anyone else’s. Just because a person’s problem is occurring in a first-world country and just because they are able to obtain food (even if it’s hard) and have a place to live doesn’t mean that they aren’t struggling. It doesn’t mean that they don’t need support, love, and help. It doesn’t mean that they just need to “get over it” and realize that those in the third world are struggling in different ways. (And yes, different — maybe they live in extreme poverty but they have extended family to help them and they don’t suffer from depression. Different problems, but equally valid.)
The next time someone complains about something, try saying “That sounds hard” or “I’ll pray for you.” (Or just don’t say anything.) Don’t say “First world problem” — unless, of course, they are complaining about which set of luxury sheets are clean. 
What do you think about “First World Problems?” Is it accurate or too dismissive?
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TESTING!
Hmm… I was not expecting this take on the “First World Problem” saying when I opened up this post.
I’m pretty sure it started out as a funny meme, with trivial things like the ones you posted at the beginning. I have NEVER heard anyone (in real life or online) use it to describe “real problems,” so I think that’s really unusual that you have – maybe it’s used differently regionally?
I have two teenage sisters, and they and their high school friends say “FWP” a lot. It is always for something trivial. I have heard it used in some of the following instances (not verbatim): “My iPhone won’t charge fast enough for me to finish watching my video!”, “Oh no! We paid to get advanced tickets to the midnight showing of and they’re out of Mike and Ikes! Now I only have the other 24 types of candy to choose from”, and “I’ve gotten too many cute new clothes lately! Now I don’t know what outfit to wear to the mall with my friends”. I think these types of circumstances earn the appropriate “FWP” label. I’d be interested to see what others have to say, if they have heard people use it to describe “real problems” – I honestly have never heard it used that way even once, and i’ve heard it many, many times from many, many different people.
If someone is dismissing anyone’s honest sharing by any phrase, “first world problems” or not, that is pretty much always going to be rude. I totally agree with your point on Christ’s likely reaction–gentle chiding sounds consistent with his actions–but not a curt dismissal. Really, I’m not sure when a curt dismissal is ever appropriate. However, I actually love the phrase “first world problems” though. I think it’s funny, timely, and just perfect for so many common complaints. I see it as providing perspective (some “legit” concerns re: a lot of legit things can also be so nuanced and really, REALLY in the scheme, not that important, that phrases like this can be helpful)–and with the right tone, it can be funny and apropos.
I hear it used a lot, but I’ve never personally heard it used about something weighty. Brynn: “My iPhone won’t charge fast enough for me to finish watching my video”–that is the perfect “first world problem” example. Made me laugh. Have you seen a comedian on that point? It’s Louis CK on Conan. If you have 8 minutes, this video is killer. As Louis says–”Maybe we need some time where we’re walking around with a donkey and pots clanging on the sides. Everything is amazing right now, and no one is happy.” http://videosift.com/video/Louie-CK-on-Conan-Oct-1st-2008
I am so glad to hear somebody finally say this! Some of my friends have been saying it a lot lately, and while I agree with the above poster that it might be appropriate in some very silly instances, I do hear in regard to issues that do have more weight.
Yes, we are absolutely blessed to have so much. We need to be reminded of those who are truly suffering and struggling without basic necessities.
But … just because a child in Africa is starving, doesn’t mean that you can’t both care about that child and also try to resolve your child’s food allergies. Ignoring the fact that your child gets a rash when he eats certain foods does not mean that the child in Africa will someone not be starving anymore.
We are very fortunate to have the available leisure time and some extra money to be concerned with things like wholesome food (instead of just anything to fill us up — a choice not everyone has), and educational choices (when not every child in the world even has a chance to learn to read). But isn’t part of the POINT of getting those basic needs met so that we can think about / work on the other, less urgent, issues? Having achieved a basic level of subsistence/survival, we can go on to work on the finer points. Indeed, aren’t we responsible to? (Yes, we are also responsible to help those who are still working on basic survival. But … saying “First World Problems!” doesn’t help them, either. While it is probably true that not everyone who discusses their own “First World Problems” makes charitable contributions … does everyone who gives it as a standard response?)
That doesn’t mean we ignoring the starving children in other parts of the world. But eating Wonder Bread without wondering what is in it and whether we couldn’t be eating something better doesn’t actually help those starving children. (Nor does saying “FWP!”)
We use the term “first world problems” to keep each other (my husband and I) accountable when we are focusing or getting frustrated about things that are trivial…..e.g that my internet connection is too slow…my mobile phone didn’t charge properly…and complaining about not enough space to store my linen etc…I think we use it in a healthy way and as a way to keep some perspective. It always does because then I’m forced to think outside my world and realise…hey, this isn’t a big deal after all.
I did once hear someone describe depression as a first world problem…as you’ve said, I don’t think that is the context for what that phrase was designed.
Great article. I too believe the phrase “first world problem’s” is meant to minimize, demean and dismiss. It seems like it’s a shaming tactic, really. I am grateful for the privilege of living in a wealthy nation, but make no apologies for it.
Thank. You. My brother in law says this all the time and I hate it. It would be funny, maybe, if he was using it to describe trivial things, but he says it in regard to pretty much any legitamate problem you may have. Meanwhile, he plays electric guitar in an “emergent church”, seeker sensitive congregation and seriously worries about what type of hipster outfit or gruny tobbagon he needs to wear this week to connect with this generation. That, my friend, is a real first world problem. Food, housing, and transportation woes are not.
Sometimes, I’m turned off my mama bloggers because so many try to one-up each other on how irreverent and hysterical they can be but your blog is so earnest and helpful. I really enjoyed this particular post and plan to write up a response on my own blog. I noticed I started to feel embarrassed about my own struggles because yes, they ARE first world problems but then when can I ever say anything? Thanks again for writing and sharing!