All posts tagged 2013 January Challenge

When Mama Loses Her Cool: Practical Tips for Tough Moments

image by anathea

Daily Tip: a friend to help if you’re feeling stuck.  Friends can be your motivators and cheerleaders.

By Joanna Rodriguez, Contributing Writer

A new year is here. You’ve created goals and started working towards them. You’ve been organizing your homes, fine-tuning your schedules, and planning healthy meals. You want everything to run smoothly in your life so peace can reign instead if chaos.

We All Lose Our Cool Sometimes

But you are human, and so is your family. And things rarely go just the way we want them to, especially as mothers. We get frustrated with the mess in the house. We get annoyed with our children for constantly needing our attention. We are often sleep deprived, our bodies are drained from pregnancy and breastfeeding, and we never have enough time in the day.

Sometimes, when our circumstances mingle with our fluctuating emotions, we lose it. You know the feeling. You begin to come unhinged: pulse racing, room swirling. You feel like you need to scream or run or punch and you’re pretty sure there’s not enough air in the room for all of you.

First I want to tell you this: these feelings are normal. There is no need to feel guilty that you get overwhelmed sometimes. Motherhood is a very stressful, demanding job! It is also more rewarding and fulfilling than anything else you could possibly do, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Note: If you feel like your emotions are completely out of control and it is becoming a problem in your relationships or keeping you from fulfilling your roles as a mother, do not hesitate to seek professional help. Also, begin to seek healing by following the long term tips later in this post.

7 Cooling Off  Tips For Stressful Mom Moments

#1. Step Away

Make sure your kids are safe and then remove yourself from the situation. I’ve often retreated to the furthest corner of my kitchen (which is not very far in my small house, but it’s as far as I can go on our lower level) or to my bed upstairs. Sometimes I need to cry or clench my fists for a few seconds before I can start to calm down.

#2. Get Some Fresh Air

If you can, step outside for a minute or go for a walk. If you need someone to be with the kids, do not hesitate to call a friend or family member.

#3. Breathe Deeply

Yogic breathing is very helpful and can be done wherever you are. Breathe in slowly through your nose, hollowing your throat, allowing your chest, ribcage, and abdomen to expand. Then let the air slowly out through the nose, hearing the air make a “haaaaa” sound in your hollow throat. Repeat several times, until you have calmed down enough to think straight.

#4. Pray

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22

In the heat of the moment, ask God for peace. And then ask him for strength and wisdom to get through whatever is overwhelming you. If you don’t know what to pray, open up the Psalms and pray one back to God. Call a friend or your mom and ask them to pray for you.

#5. Use Calming Herbs

Open up your lavender oil and take a deep breath. Dilute some in a carrier oil such as almond oil and massage it onto your temples or chest. Make yourself (or ask your husband to make you) a cup of chamomile tea. Or spray some Bach Rescue Remedy Spray on your tongue; it’s made from flower essences and has major calming properties.

#6. Apologize

This isn’t really a way to help you cool off, but it does provide necessary closure after a tough situation. If you yelled at your child or your spouse in your frustration, apologize. Even if you felt like your actions were out of your control, it is still good for them to hear that you know if wasn’t right of you to act the way you did. This can also be a good teaching moment: talk about emotions with your children and explain what they can do when they feel frustrated or angry.

#7. Reflect on the Situation

If my husband is around when I lose it, after I’ve calmed down a bit I talk to him about what set me off. We determine what we need to do to make the day better right now. Do I need to leave for a little while? Can he help by doing the dishes that were overwhelming me? Does he need to take the kids to the library so I can have some quiet time to cook dinner? If he is not home I do my best to face one thing at a time, and if I’m struggling I call my mom or a good friend.

If you are having “lose your cool” episodes frequently, try to determine the underlying cause. Try the following tips to improve your emotional health.

Image by mrgreen09

Long Term Preventative Solutions

#1. Find Support

Make sure your husband understands your needs and supports you. If you are carrying too heavy of a burden, see if he can help with some of your duties or if you can cut something from your family’s schedule.

Also think about which friends you can call when you are stressed and need help. Do you need someone to watch your kids once a week so you can go to a coffee shop and read a book? Do you need to schedule a weekly play date so you can talk to another mom about your parenting challenges?

If you are involved at a church, do not hesitate to express to an elder or pastor that you need help. If you are in an especially difficult season, see if you can have some meals set up or if there is anyone who would be willing to help you clean or take care of your kids. You don’t have to do this alone.

#2. Take Time for Yourself

Is there something that you love doing but you haven’t had time to do it since having children? Are you an artist? A dancer? A writer? A volleyball player? It may seem like too much work to find time to do those things that you love. I’m telling you right now that it’s worth it. Find a couple hours a week to spend doing something that you love. You will come home refreshed and delighted to see your family again.

#3. Get Outside Regularly

When I don’t get outside all day, I tend to get short-tempered and more easily frustrated. Something about the freedom of the great outdoors, even for a few minutes a day, brings things into perspective and helps prevent meltdowns. And of course, giving your kids a little while to run free each day – even in the winter – is good medicine for their bodies and souls.

#4. Balance Your Hormones

There are whole books written about this, so I will not attempt to write one here. Unbalanced hormones can mess up all sorts of things, including your emotions. Here are some resources: Top 5 Tips for Balancing Hormones, The Truth About Recovering From Pregnancy, 9 Tips to Help Balance Hormones. And if you are pregnant or hoping to be pregnant soon, you may want to consider placenta encapsulation to balance those postpartum hormones. There. I said it.

#5. Nourish Your Body

Good food does wonders. Take seriously the task of nourishing your body. Could your mood swings be a result of too much caffeine or sugar? Or blood sugar fluctuations from skipping meals? Eat well, eat often. Get enough protein. Get enough fat. Get enough healthy carbohydrates. Not sure where to start? Browse MAM’s recipes or head on over to Modern Alternative Kitchen for plenty of inspiration for eating well.

#6. Prioritize Sleep

The roughest time I’ve ever had emotionally was the few months that my infant daughter was waking frequently at night and not napping during the day. I didn’t have the strength to complete normal tasks like doing the dishes or folding laundry. I felt helpless. Once we got her sleep under control (that’s another topic, for another day!), my world was so much better. Lack of sleep makes everything seem exponentially more difficult. If you are in the throes of the sleep-deprived phase of parenting young children, do what you can to get more sleep. Find a solution that works for your family. Take naps. Rest on the couch while the kids play. Go to bed early whenever you can.

#7. Remember that you belong to God

“So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

If you feel like you are failing as a mother, remember that in Christ you are a new creation! Your sin, your failures, your shortfalls do not rule your life anymore. The old you is dead as a doornail, and you can live each day as a child of God. You are still human, you are still going to fail sometimes, but live into your new identity in Christ and make this your daily prayer:

“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God.” Psalm 43:5

What do you do when you lose your cool? Do you have any tips for long term emotional health?

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7 Tips for Honestly Evaluating Your Goals

Image by mikebaird

Daily Tip: If something “sometimes” works for you, give it a good three weeks before calling it quits or switching to something else.  It may just be the difficulty of learning a new habit.

We’re getting towards the end of our challenge.  That means it’s time to evaluate: what is working for you, and what isn’t?

In some ways, this is the hardest part.  We all have the best of intentions when we set our goals.  We want to improve our lives and want to do the “right” things.  But…what if now is just not the time for those goals?  Or what if we haven’t yet found the method that works best for us to achieve them?

We have to be honest with ourselves.  If we’re not, we can end up putting something off and feeling like a “failure” when that really isn’t true.  We need to look carefully at how our goals are going…and revamp or even remove if needed.

So how do we do that?

1. “Do I Find It Easy To Do Naturally?”

Is your goal or method becoming part of your routine fairly easily?  Does it feel fairly natural to you, even if you occasionally forget since it’s new?  Or is it a real hassle to you, something you debate whether or not you should do everyday before finally forcing yourself to do it?  For example, I told myself several times I was going to hang my clothes on my clothes tree instead of laying them on my vanity.  But I never developed the habit because it just didn’t work for me.  In contrast, brewing kombucha is something I’ve done for almost three years now, so that method of improving my family’s health stuck with me.  So be honest — does it feel natural to you?  Or are you struggling?

2. “Is This Method Working?”

Maybe your goal is actually helping you a lot in the end…but you’re annoyed by the method.  For example, perhaps you love having a meal plan, but you’re not liking the way you’re creating it.  Find another way to accomplish the same end!  There are many ways to do it and you can keep tweaking until it works for you.

3. “Is This Something I Really Want to Do?”

Sometimes you make a goal because you think you ‘should.’  That is, maybe you look in the mirror and think you need to dress better…or that you haven’t learned anything new in awhile so you need to take a class.  Maybe your best friend has made a goal and begged you to join her so she’ll stick with it.  But…is this really something that you want to do right now?  Or do you have other priorities?  It’s okay if it’s not the right goal for you.  Be honest and abandon it if needed, or modify it.  Maybe you do want to learn something new, but self-study is more your speed than taking a class.  Or maybe you can still be a “check in” person for your best friend without actually making the same goal yourself.  It’s okay — we can’t do everything.

4. “Is This Working for My Family?”

Even if the goal is working for you, is it working for your family?  Some readers have mentioned that they want to hit the gym five days a week, but their small children cry the entire time they are in the gym’s childcare.  Maybe the children will adapt in a week or two…but if they don’t, then what?  Perhaps the gym isn’t the best way to get exercise at this time.  Maybe a “Mommy and Me” DVD at home would be a better fit.  Maybe going to the gym 2 – 3 nights a week when Daddy is home to watch the kids is a better fit.  What is going to really work best with your family?

5. “Does This Work with My Routine?”

We all have limited time.  We have to spend that limited time on things that are truly important — and we might not be able to do good things that just don’t fit.  Some new things can be streamlined into our routines easily, and some can’t.  For example, cooking a week’s worth of food on Sunday/Monday and putting it in the fridge or freezer works for us.  Trying to cook “meals to go” throughout the week as they’re needed just doesn’t because we have other responsibilities and are always left scrambling.  Think about how to make better use of your time if needed.  Take your supplements all at once with breakfast or right before bed, whichever works better for you, instead of trying to remember at a time that doesn’t really fit your routine.

6. “Do I Have the Right Tools?”

Sometimes the goal is right and the method is right…but the tools aren’t.  If you’re trying to clean your kitchen naturally and are constantly frustrated that you don’t have a spray bottle to mix a cleaning solution in, go buy one.  If you’re trying to keep your kids’ toys organized by your current system never stays nice, find something else.  (On the kids’ toys — we had one of those 12-box organizers that go in the wood structures.  They just got dumped everyday.  Now we have a small book shelf with 4 – 5 main toys and a box with a lid for each.  It works much better.)  If there’s one item that would just make your life easier, buy it.  Are you trying to make bread daily, and a bread machine would help you achieve your goal?  Or would a Pickl-It jar make it easier to start fermenting?  Do you need better glass storage options for your leftovers?  (ESP has some great options there!)  Get yourself the tools you really need…even if they’re expensive or you keep telling yourself “I can live without those.”  Make it easier.

7. “Is It Time for Something Else?”

If you are trying to do something that is just not working for you, and no amount of modification, better tools, etc. is going to change that — scrap it.  If you want to learn to make milk kefir but you, well, really hate it…don’t.  It doesn’t matter how many health benefits it has; if you don’t like it and don’t want to do it, you shouldn’t.  It’s okay to abandon some of your goals.  Maybe you’ve even just made too many goals, and don’t feel you have the time to devote to them all.  Set some aside for three months or six months until you have more time.  It’s okay!

How are your goals going…honestly?

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Top 10 Natural Cleaning Tools I Use

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Daily Tip: Don’t be afraid to buy items that you really need to help yourself succeed.  Frugal doesn’t mean cheap, it means carefully chosen.

When I first got married, I bought all the same stuff my parents had used — things like Soft Scrub, caustic toilet cleaner, regular ol’ dishwasher detergent, bleach….  Those are what I used to clean my house.  They did the job…and gave me a headache in the process.

My first foray into natural cleaning was when my daughter was around 10 months old and I was newly pregnant with my older son.  I had tried desperately to clean my shower, which was gross, with everything chemical out there — bleach, CLR, I don’t even remember all the options.  The mildew didn’t budge.

Being pregnant and having a mobile child, I didn’t feel safe using those caustic chemicals.  I wondered what would happen if I tried something different.  I plugged the shower drain and flooded it with warm water and sprinkled baking soda all around.  I let this sit for about 20 minutes, then came back to it.  All I needed was a sponge, and the mess just wiped away.  Seriously — that easy.

I was sold.

Natural Cleaning Tools That Work

There’s still a perception that natural cleaning doesn’t really work.  As my experience above shows, they certainly do!  You might need some different tools and different methods, but really — they work.

To make your life easier (I hope), I’m going to share my top 10 cleaning tools and methods with you.

1. The Soak

Fill it with water and soak it for awhile.  10 – 15 minutes is usually enough.  This goes for dishes, showers, tubs, anything that is dirty.  Water alone is a powerful solvent and it doesn’t take long to work.  Let whatever is dirty soak for awhile in warm or hot water, and then wipe away the junk easily.  If it’s not that easy (for example, if something’s burned on), all you need is….

2. Baking Soda

This is super safe, but also very abrasive.  If something needs a scrub or has some burned or caked-on junk, add baking soda to the soak and use more when you scrub.  If you have a dirty pot, you can even boil it with baking soda water and it will come clean more easily.  I sprinkle baking soda on counters, sinks, bath tubs, dishes, stoves, and more, and use it to help get a nice shine (if applicable) and to loosen the junk more easily.  Works every time.

3. Vinegar

White vinegar goes in so many places.  I keep a spray bottle filled with half vinegar, half water.  When the kids want to “help” I let them spray this and wipe.  It cleans glass, counters, stoves (I have a glass top), just about anything.  White vinegar also goes in the dishwasher as a rinse aid, or into the washing machine as a fabric softener.  I keep a gallon of it in the house so I can use it as needed.  It’s super cheap, too.

4. Spray Bottles

These are super handy.  They can be filled with straight vinegar, vinegar and water, water and essential oils, or various other combinations.  Using water and essential oils can function as a disinfectant around your home, and a very safe one at that.  Keep a few around to make your job easier and label each.

5. Microfiber Cloths

I have a lot of these…I had up to 50 at one point in time.  They are my go-to for scrubbing anything because they work and they are cheap, so they can be thrown out after a really dirty job.  I use them for wiping down counters, the stove, bath tubs, mirrors, really anything.  I also tend to use them for covering bowls of food that are soaking on my counters.  They sell these in the automotive department.  Clean ones can also be used as diaper inserts.

6. Essential Oils

Some of these just add a nice scent.  Some disinfect.   Tea tree oil, thyme oil, oregano oil — these are the primary ones that can disinfect.  Mix a few drops in with water and a little white vinegar and spray any surface.  It makes cleaning toys easy, and is safe for most furniture too (to be used like ‘Febreze”).  This is excellent on door knobs, faucets, etc. after a recent illness!

7. Toilet Brush

There’s no getting around this one — you need a standard toilet brush.  I used to use those disposable pads that came with their own cleaners, but they don’t work as well and who knows what is in those little pads.  Buy a regular, cheap brush and replace every several months — they get pretty gross.  I keep one in every bathroom so I’m not constantly hunting for one when I need to clean a toilet.  I recommend at least one per floor of your home.

8. Spray and Wipe

Most of the time when I am cleaning my kitchen, I will spray down all the surfaces at once (with the vinegar-water) and then go back to the first surface to start wiping.  Allowing it to sit for just a couple minutes makes it much easier to wipe the junk off.  If I have stubborn spots I may repeat the process on those while I work on another area.

9. The Scraper

I have a plastic scraper that I use.  It mostly is used on dishes, but I also use it on counters and floors to remove any sticky, stuck-on junk.  (Think waffle batter that spills and doesn’t get wiped up right away, or chunks of banana the kids dropped under the table and didn’t tell you about.)  This is much easier than just scrubbing and getting frustrated!  It also makes washing dishes easier.  I can’t stand to get big clumps of food on my dish sponges (I may have mentioned that before), so I use the scraper to get off as much as I can first.  If the scraper isn’t working, steel wool is my next go-to.

10. The Walk and Scoot

I used to use a mop of some kind to clean my kitchen floor.  But I had to constantly rinse it in the sink (unwieldy, to say the least) or I’d have to get a bucket out (dangerous with small children — they could drown, or at least spill it and make a huge mess).  Plus, it often wasn’t “scrubby” enough to get up the sticky spots.  No thanks.  Instead, now, I just use my microfiber cloths.  I soak them with hot water, wring them out, and drop them directly onto the stickiest spots.  I use my foot to scoot them around and clean the floor.  This is much faster and I can get just the trouble spots, instead of feeling like I need to mop the whole floor.  It works on dried-on juice and chocolate milk…not that I’d know anything about that. ;)

And that’s it!  My simple cleaning tools and methods, to keep my home looking decent.

Additional “Stuff”

Okay, I really do have more than that.  But I included just my favorites, things that were less obvious.  I also have:

  • Natural dishwasher detergent (after failing with various homemade concoctions, I buy Trader Joe’s brand)
  • Toilet cleaner (I go back and forth between ‘natural’ ones and the most caustic I can find…I haven’t found a natural one that consistently works)
  • Vacuum (need I say more?)
  • Wash cloths (I keep a whole drawer full in my kitchen to wipe fresh spills, faces, etc.  We don’t use paper towels at all)
  • Sponges (I use them for cleaning dishes, mostly, but sometimes bathroom counters too)
  • Dish liquid soap (I have varied between Dawn and plain Dr. Bronner’s, depending on my mood)
  • Steel wool (if nothing’s working to get burned-on junk off, I switch to this)
  • Soap nuts (this is the only thing I use in my laundry most of the time, and it works on everything and is completely natural)
  • RLR (this is the one laundry additive I have, it is natural, and I use it on cloth diapers from time to time if I have a big/especially dirty load)

Notice I do not keep bleach, air freshers, and other such things around.  I don’t use any scented products unless they are made with essential oils only, because the fragrances are made from petrochemicals and they are carcinogenic (cause cancer).

The simple stuff works, it’s in expensive, it’s versatile, and it’s safe!  Can’t go wrong there!

What are your top cleaning products or tools?

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Taming the Toy Tornado — Let’s Plan the Playroom

Daily Tip: Place items in the areas of your home where you’ll use them, to increase the chances that you’ll follow through.

By Malissa McClintock, Contributing Writer

The playroom. Out of all the rooms in my house, I am fairly certain it is the room I like least. I wish that weren’t the case. I have always dreamed of having an amazing playroom for my children that we would spend countless hours in making memories I would always cherish. Instead, it’s a room they go to when I’m trying to get something accomplished and a room that I don’t enjoy being in because it’s always a mess.

To top it off, the playroom is in the space that should be the formal living room to our house — the room that you walk into through the front door.  We keep moving the playroom back and forth from the sun room to the living room, but nothing helps.  This year I’ve decided things are going to change and this plan is how I’m going to attack it.

The Plan

I am going to go into the room and divide the current toys into three piles: donate, keep, pack up. Dealing with what is there before we all the new influx of Christmas gifts is imperative because trying to integrate those before dealing with the mess is going to be overwhelming. Start with getting things out of the room and the rest will be much easier.
Use a trash bag or paper grocery bags for the donate toys – using a storage bin means more work for you later when you have to transfer the stuff in order to donate it.
Use the children’s storage bins that you use in the playroom already for the items you are keeping in the playroom.
For the toys you are packing use a storage tote to make moving them out of the room easiest. Now that we have a plan, let’s get started.

The Piles

  • DONATE: We donate toys about 3 times a year. It is a bit sad to see toys go because they aren’t played with or have been outgrown developmentally — and sometimes because it seems like money that has been wasted. Regardless, all the toys can’t be kept so we purge. Sort out toys that aren’t played with much or ever, stuffed animals that are overrunning the roost, and books that either aren’t read or you feel aren’t of the literary quality your children enjoy. Pack everything into garbage bags or paper grocery bags. Set them in front of the front door — this way you HAVE to load them into your car before you can go anywhere. Do this step WITHOUT your children helping — if the toys aren’t played with, they won’t be missed. If they see them go, there could be tears. Don’t second guess yourself about what is going — sort it and move on.
  • KEEP: Toys that the children love and play with constantly, toys that are massively educational and manipulative friendly, and toys that you feel are important should be kept. Having toys in children friendly bins at their height are imperative to keeping the room functional for them. Use a small bookshelf that will hold 10-15 books. Use bins that stack, slide,  or go into drawers. Keep all the toys that are similar together- kitchen plates and food by the kitchen, trains and trucks by the train table or car mat, dress up near the kitchen to encourage  dramatic play, and art supplies by the art table. Remember that children can only play with one toy successfully at a time and try to keep your bins moderately full. All of these are items that I struggle with and must stay on top of this year.
  •  PACK UP: There are toys that are played with sometimes or that are seasonal in nature. There’s no reason to get rid of all of them, so pack them up for rotation in and out of the playroom. Variety is good for children in their play options. We have too many books in the playroom so we are going to do the same with those- they will move to a shelf in the guest room for easy organization and access and 10-15 books will be left out at a time. They will be rotated every few days to provide variety and encourage “reading” time. Make sure bins are clearly labeled for easy access when you want to change things around.

The New Stuff

Now that the room is together and you have things under control, bring in the new toys. Place them in the appropriate places. Make sure you label your bins or areas so your children become familiar with the concept as they start learning letters and words. Put everything where it goes and look around. If there is too much stuff, pack more away. The newer toys are going to be the flavor this month, so they need to stay. Soon, they can be rotated out and other loved friends back in. Don’t let the room get out of control before the kids even come in.

Now, Keeping It Clean

Enforce the one toy out at a time rule. Enforce the one toy out at a time rule. I say this twice because I am horrible at this rule. One toy out at a time keeps a massive tornado of toys from being present at nap time or bed time. Start cleanup time as part of transition between scheduled activities -- lunch, snack, errands, etc. Turn it into a game and a song- anything to make it interesting. And try to enjoy the room with your children. Playing play dough with the girls keeps them on task rather than grabbing trains to drive through the pancakes they just made for me on plates from the kitchen. Sit at their level and listen to what they say to you. Playing with your children will keep your play room neater than you think.

What do you keep your toys organized in? What tricks do you have for taming the toy tornado?

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Taming the Clutter: Finding Tools to Make it Work for You

Image by peapod labs

Daily Tip: Make a list of everything you need to have or do to achieve your goals, so that you don’t get stuck without something important.

A lot of our readers have been talking about how they struggle with clutter.  There is stuff in every direction and on every surface.  I can relate.  There are a few surfaces in my home that just seem to “catch” clutter.  I clear them off, and…weeks later, they’re full of “stuff” again!  So obviously I don’t have a perfect answer. :)

I have made strides in this area over the last year, though, and there’s a lot less clutter in my home than there used to be.  I’m sharing here what’s working for me.

Taming the Clutter: A Method to the Madness

Yo have to have a way of dealing with clutter — a proactive, careful, direct way.  Being frustrated and throwing things away without sorting through it won’t solve the problem.  I watched my mom, when I was growing up, do what my dad called “committing a neatness.”  Basically she swept through the home and either threw away or put away whatever was sitting out, without regard to what it was, whose it was, or any sort of organizational system.  Naturally, everyone was frustrated by this and within several days, we’d all drag out our things again as we found them and the problem continued.

Instead, I suggest a few simple rules (which I am still — slowly — working to implement).

  • Rule #1: If you don’t use it regularly (like, nearly daily), put it away.  If you use it daily, it can stay “out” on the counter or wherever.
  • Rule #2: If you haven’t used it in six months, you probably don’t need it.  Donate or sell it.  You might need to go through shelves or cabinets of stored stuff to get rid of stuff you don’t need so that you have a place to put the stuff you do.
  • Rule #3: Every item must have a “place” to go.  If it doesn’t, ask yourself if you really need it.  If you do, create a reasonable place for it.  Clear out stuff you don’t need if you have to.
  • Rule #4: When you are done with it, it goes back to its place, no exceptions.
  • Rule #5: Keep a basket on each floor for misplaced items.  Sort through the basket daily or weekly and return things to their homes — or throw it out or donate it.  (I keep a basket to toss too-small clothing and mismatched socks into, and they will get put away in boxes or thrown out, respectively.)
  • Rule #6: Have a paper system and use it immediately on any paper that comes into your home.  Important papers must have a “place” to go — a filing cabinet, a folder on your desk, etc.  Non-important papers should be handled if needed (think a school reminder that you only need briefly), then go into the recycle or trash.  Kids’ papers are not an exception; they can keep a few favorite items to put on the fridge or into a “keep folder” but the rest goes into the trash.

I’m mean about that last one.  My kids will sometimes draw 20 pictures in one day, many on little notebook paper scraps.  They want to keep all of them.  Every.single.time I have let them, they promise they will keep them put away and they really will look at them later.  They always end up on the floor, and I throw them out.  Now I insist that they simply throw out most of their papers, except the really nice ones.  Having a “keep folder” is a great idea because they have a place for those special ones to go, and when the folder’s full, they have to make a choice: clean some older stuff out, or not keep the current item.  You might give them a new ‘keep folder’ every six months to a year so that they can always save a few important papers from the past.

Image by seanmfreese 

Choosing What Really Works

When I first got married, I knew very little about setting up a home.  What I did know came from observing my parents.  I set out to create a space that looked very much like theirs.  I bought the same dishwashing tools (a ‘dobie’ pad, wash cloths, and a dish drainer).  I bought all the same laundry tools and soaps.  I bought a wooden ‘clothes tree’ that I set up in my room to hang clothes on in between wearings (pants, jackets). Basically, I mimicked what I had seen them do.

…then I found out a lot of this stuff just didn’t work for me.

I don’t have or use a dish drainer anymore.  I use sponges to wash the dishes, although I stick many more in the dishwasher than my parents do.  I have a plastic scraper because I can’t stand to use a sponge on filthy dishes (I have to get most of the ‘junk’ off with the scraper before I can use the sponge).  I have an entirely different laundry system and routine.  The clothes tree sits unused in the basement.  These organizational items that were so key to them were just not my style.

It’s okay.

Just because one system or style looks so great and works for others — even if it works for a lot of others — does not mean it will work for you.  You have to be honest about what really works for your home and your personality.

What do you find yourself wanting or doing as you move through your home?  I lay my clothes on the vanity near my closet.  If I wanted to keep it more organized, I might have put a shelf or the clothes tree in a corner near that area.  I have to have a towel on my oven door — I always grab for one while cooking if I need to wipe my hands.  I keep hand soap at the kitchen sink too so I don’t have to go to the bathroom (or use dish soap) to wash my hands.  I’ve found that these things work for me by noticing my natural patterns and habits and finding ways to continue them…with more organization.

Be honest with yourself, note your own patterns, and find the systems and tools that work with what you already do.  Look for items at Good Will or swap items with a friend.  Working with what you have and what you prefer, rather than completely trying to change your habits is going to prove more successful in the long run.

**This post has been entered in Frugal Days and Sustainable Ways.**

How do you tame the clutter in your home?

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