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By Debra Worth, Contributing Writer
I love this time of year! Thanksgiving and Christmas are my favorite holidays. I love the decorations, the spices, the smells, the traditions, what they are celebrating, and the entertaining.
This is Mark’s and my fourth Thanksgiving, we have (or will have) hosted a Thanksgiving dinner for three of those years. I also hope to do a bit more Christmas entertaining this year. Perhaps a Christmas party? There are so many tips and fun things we can put in our holiday entertaining, but I think the most important thing is hospitality.
Wait, you might be thinking, isn’t entertaining the same as hospitality? They are related, but are NOT the same.
Entertaining – Focuses on the food, decorations, and guest list. You bring people into your home for a special event that you have planned. You need a budget and a strategic menu.
Hospitality- Focuses on the people and how to serve others. It is a matter of the heart. The root word of ‘hospitality’ is the same as that of hospital. It is a place where people are healed and relationships are built.
Entertaining subtly declares ‘This is mine…. Look, please, and admire’. Hospitality whispers “what is mine is yours”. – Karen Mains in her book Open Heart, Open Home
Now, please do not get me wrong. There is NOTHING the matter with entertaining, but I believe you can entertain without the heart of hospitality. This is especially true around the holidays when there are so many “rules” of what makes a good Thanksgiving feast and Christmas party.
I think Martha is a good example of entertaining while forgetting the heart of hospitality. She was really stressed and worried that everything would be perfect for the Master, while forgetting to sit at his feet, building a relationship with him.
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
She was more worried about the preparations than the guests. My husband is a very hospitable man, but I am still working on it. He has told me before that he loves having people over, except for when I am stressed. That takes the joy out of it. The most important thing to prepare for guests, is our heart. Our hearts need to be ready to minister to others.
I do not say that because I am so great at that. I say it because I have seen it many times. I do struggle with getting stressed before people come over, feeling like everything needs to be perfect. Then I am already exhausted by worry and stress and emotionally drained by time our guests arrive. I am not available to truly invest into lives because I have already fully invested in cleaning and cooking. I worry more about preparing our home then preparing my heart, asking God to bless the evening and those who come through our door. Thankfully through God’s grace, I am not quite as bad about this as I used to be. I see more readily that houses are to live in, and homemaking is to improve that life not hide it. That meals are a gathering point around the table more then expensive ingredients, multiple courses, and fancy displays.
Hospitality is first and foremost about living lives WITH others; serving, blessing, investing. It is not about living life IN FRONT of them; impressing, hiding. It is welcoming others to what is ours, not displaying it in front of them.
By dedicating our home and homemaking to God, he can do amazing things in it. Around the dining room table, friendships can be made. On the couch, hearts can be touched. We can be family for those who have none (Psalm 68:6). During this holiday season we can help those without friends and family not feel lonely. And, we can help those who do not know the hope that is in us understand WHY and WHAT we are celebrating. God’s provision for us physically and spiritually, on earth and eternally.
Are you planning on hosting either Thanksgiving or Christmas this year? Have you dedicated your home to God and thus to the blessing of others?