All posts tagged living for joy

Welcome to Living for Joy, week 3!

I’ll be honest.  I’m struggling.  The past couple days I haven’t had a very good attitude and I know it.  I’ve felt very frustrated by a number of things and I can’t seem to stop discussing them and ranting about them.  I know I need to move on, walk away….  And yet I don’t take my own advice!  I’m at least happy that I haven’t said anything that I regret!

Hard Times

What do you do when you are having a hard time?  Something that helped me when I was frustrated was to try to figure out what was causing my frustration, the “real reason” that I felt the way I did.  If I could understand it, then perhaps I could do something productive about it and move past it.

Another way to blow through the rough times is to take a time out.  Just walk away from whatever is causing the problem and do something else.  I’m writing on Thursday night, and in a little bit, Ben is going to come down to help me make ice cream, and then I am going to either watch a movie or play a game with him.  I don’t need to sit here all night and keep checking everything to see if there are any updates, which might frustrate me more!

Another little hint?  Avoid Facebook.  All the arguing and politics on there lately don’t do much to help my frame of mind.  How about a little non-controversial “cute things my kid did today” sharing?!

Tell us how you beat back the frustration and poor attitude when you’re not feeling it!

Reasons to Be Happy and Blessings

Why I’m Happy:

• My parents visited last Saturday and we had a nice meal together.
• We picked up our 1/2 cow and got lots of beautiful raw honey!  The honey is opaque and thick and butterscotch-colored.  Nothing like that clear, thin storebought stuff!  It makes me happy every time I look at it.
• I got to get a hair cut!  All by myself.  An hour of “me” time!  Plus now even if I don’t try I don’t look too bad.
• I had a nice evening at AWANA, talking to the other ladies.  It’s also a good couple hours I can mostly sit and hold Jacob (unless another kid needs me; I’m in the nursery) without bigger kids interrupting.
• Daniel, who’s been waking up very early and not napping well for a couple weeks (he’s made HUGE leaps forward in talking, though, which I suspect was the reason), snuggled with me Thursday morning at 5:45 and slept in until 8.  I haven’t co-slept with him in months.
• Wednesday at AWANA gave me some insight into Bekah…which is awesome.  See my other post for more on that.
• I have despaired that I will never get probiotics into Bekah, who refuses the vast majority of probiotic foods.  But we tried an experiment with pineapple kombucha and she loves it!  I’m excited, I think it will really help her.

How I Blessed Others:

• I made everyone some jerky that everyone loved.
• I served in the nursery ministry at AWANA at church.
• I helped Ben prepare a speech for his Toastmasters’ club at work.

Share yours below!

How do you handle the tough days?  And why are you happy this week?

Feel free to grab this button if you want! 

Wow, it has been an amazing week!

First, if you haven’t, would you consider filling out my reader survey?  I’ve gotten so many wonderful responses so far and they’ve given great insight and ideas on how I can do even better as a blogger.  I’d love to hear your “voice,” too!

Making Memories

This week I’ve been heavily pondering “making memories.”  That is, on an everyday basis, what do I want my kids to remember when they grow up?  Do I want them to remember me as being angry or harsh?  As unsympathetic?  Unavailable?  Or do I want them to remember that I loved them, I listened to them, I played with them?

I try to reflect on things I have done or am about to do, to see if it fits what I want them to think of me.  Sometimes, it doesn’t.  And sometimes, my 3-year-old calls me on it.  ”It wasn’t nice to do that,” she says after I yell at my son and push him away (he smacked me in the face, but I’m still the parent, ought to be bigger than that…).  I know she’s right.  I apologize to him, and to her.  Hopefully they’ll remember that too — Mommy isn’t perfect, Mommy admits when she’s wrong and says she’s sorry.  I know they love me anyway and I hope they always know that I love them, anyway, no matter what they do.

Facing Tests

Something else that has been on my mind is facing Satan.  When things are going really well and I’m feeling inspired and joyful, Satan tries to do things to get me down.  Someone makes a comment that upsets me, or my children start fighting, or I hear some bad news.

That’s the most important time to be joyful!  Satan wins if I use those very temporary circumstances to have a bad attitude.  They are temporary.  I can choose to ignore the comment, distract the children, deal with the bad news however I need to (productively).  I don’t need to let it get to me.

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that I felt drawn to reading Job this past week.  I needed to read that and ponder it, to know that I am never abandoned and I always have God even when tough things do happen.

Why I’m Happy This Week

I have all kinds of reasons!  I’m determined.

• Even though Jacob’s had a bit of a cold, he’s still been in pretty good spirits, still smiles at me often and doesn’t wake up much (extra) at night!
• Bekah said her verses in AWANA all by herself for the first time!  And earned her vest!
• Daniel took a great long nap today, which he’d been needing all week!
• I got some “down time” this week to just get stuff done around the house…and I did!
• Bekah spends a lot more time talking to me and telling me stories now.  I love to know how she thinks.
• Ben gave me lots of time last night to catch up on my sorely-behind blogging work!
• I made peanut butter-chocolate cookies and they were delicious
• I received a lot of kind words from a lot of different people…thank you, to all of you!

Ways I Blessed Other People

• I made Ben’s favorite dinners this week, even though they weren’t technically on the meal plan
• I stayed extra patient some days with the kids when they were fussing and fighting

We didn’t really go anywhere so I haven’t had much chance to do more.  I still really need to improve in this area!

I’d love to see the reasons you’re happy and the ways that you bless others — maybe I can get a little inspiration and work on doing more this week!  Add your link below if you’re a blogger; if not, tell us in the comments!

Why are you joyful this week?

Welcome to our “Living for Joy” challenge!

The whole purpose of this challenge is for us to check our own attitudes, and to start being the joy that we want to see in others.  That means two things:

1. Choosing to be positive and patient, regardless of the circumstances surrounding us (as best we can!)
2. Intentionally seeking to bring joy to others

This might take the form of taking a deep breath before speaking, praying for others, complimenting someone, blessing them in some particular way, etc.

Why I’m Doing This

I have to tell you my story, why I am doing this to begin with.

About 18 months ago I decided what I wanted to happen: I wanted to have another baby.  Only, I wasn’t getting pregnant.  It was frustrating, especially when all my friends were getting pregnant (seriously, about 20 of us had babies this year).  Then I got pregnant and somehow lost sight of God in my life.  I felt like I had gotten pregnant outside of God’s will because of my own impatience.

After that it was just a bleak time.  I couldn’t find God anywhere and I was angry that He had allowed me to subvert His will — or so I thought.  One thing happened after another.  There was a lot of illness, Ben’s arsenic poisoning, various other stresses on us.  I wasn’t sure why it just kept piling on.  I took out my frustration on my family and mostly ignored my friends.  I yelled at the kids a lot.  I held darkness and anger in my heart because I felt things were so unfair to me.  I thought if I pushed people around me that they would magically be happy and do what I wished they would, to make me happy.

Then in the spring, there was a lot of chaos (which I’d rather not rehash) and suddenly some friends showed up and provided me a lot of comfort, much of it coming from the Bible.  I knew that God had placed them in my lives to show me that He was still there and bring me back to Him.

Things continued to be hard for several more months and I was still angry at times, but I knew God was there and that He had a purpose for all of this.  I slowly became convicted that I needed to be a gentler, better parent.  How could I justify sitting there and yelling at my children because they were driving me crazy…when I’m sure I was driving them crazy?  How could I tell them to stop getting angry when I was always angry?

This conviction to be a gentler parent led to the realization that I couldn’t force change on anyone, nor bully them into joy and service.  Instead I needed to be the change I wanted to see in others.  I needed to check my own attitude and strive to be patient and joyful.  I need to serve them.  And then, perhaps, they would do the same — be patient and joyful and serve others.

Somehow this led to me feeling convicted to specifically spread joy and to tell others about what lay on my heart, which is how this challenge was born.  I hardly feel qualified to do this because I still fail to be patient and joyful everyday…I always have bad moments.  But it’s on my heart to constantly try to do better and I’m hoping that can inspire others to do the same.  Imagine what the world would be like if we all had love and service in our hearts?!

What I’ve Done This Week And Why I’m Happy

Here are all the reasons I have to be happy this week:

• My parents came to visit us…and even watched the children so we could go out for a couple hours!
• Ben bought me new shoes and some new clothes…first I’ve had in a few years
• I read my Bible twice this week — I am trying to get into the habit!
• I got to go to an Amish store to stock up on pantry goods with a friend…and it was fun!
• Daniel started saying “Jesus killed.  Jesus back.  YAY!  Pay sins.”  And he claps when he says yay.  It’s adorable.
• Daniel also likes it when I tickle him, and says “Boy butt!  Do again.”  He talks more and more and it is all just so adorable.
• Bekah earned her vest in AWANA this week, which meant catching up on 3 verses.  She did it, even though memorizing and repeating anything is not her favorite activity.  We are so proud!
• Jacob continues to be simply adorable and coo and smile at me all the time.  And he snuggles with me a lot at night.  I treasure everyday, watching him grow.
• Jacob went through a growth spurt and is a big boy…really long. (Easily in his 3 – 6 months clothes, and 6 – 9 isn’t that big…we had to pull it out when it got cold for a few days since the smaller stuff isn’t seasonally appropriate.)  Oh, he’s 2 months old.
• Bekah is a good helper around the house, helping me do a lot of chores.  We talk a lot while we work, and she is surprisingly insightful sometimes!  Like when she said “It doesn’t make sense for you to yell at me” when I got really mad that she and Daniel were fighting.  She was pretty much right.
• I get lots of kisses everyday, especially from Daniel.  And Bekah calls “longer kisses” (ahem) “married kisses.”  I’m good with that idea.
• I got to have an excellent conversation with a friend…the details of which I’ll keep private
• Ben scheduled a massage for me last night…which was awesome!
• There were so many more moments that I thought I needed to remember and write down that, of course, I didn’t!  But I had lots of thoughts about how blessed I was!

Here are all the things I’ve done to love and serve others:

• Twice I made Ben his new favorite food (recipe to come in another cookbook), once as a “snack” late at night, just because
• I let the kids eat homemade pumpkin ice cream for breakfast (they got their bacon and eggs later)
• I talked to a friend who needed reassurance (I’ll keep this private too)

 I think I need to get better at loving on others!  I am trying.

Now, won’t you join me?  Link up your own posts (if you have a blog) about why you’re happy and what you’ve done to love and serve others.  Please remember to link back to this post, so that others can read and share in all our joy!  If you don’t have a blog, share with us in the comments section!