All posts tagged womanhood

Redeeming Beauty Mineral Make Up Review and GIVEAWAY!

I am not a girly-girl.

I am lucky if I remember to brush my hair every morning and if my outfit matches.  I usually wear jeans or khakis because anything matches with those and I don’t have to think.  Let’s just say, my appearance is not exactly in my top priorities.  Or even in them at all, often times.

Still, I am aware that the image I present to the rest of the world is important, especially if I am in a professional situation.  While it’s fine to wear yoga pants and a nursing tank with messed up hair if I am just cleaning the house, that isn’t exactly a great look if I am off to give a speech…or even go shopping.  I don’t want to look like a mom who “let herself go.”  I can’t stand that stereotype anyway, like we are somehow ruined as women because we’ve had kids??  Please.

I really don’t like it when someone says “She looks great…for a mom of ___ kids.”  Hey, how about just “She looks great!”  No qualifiers?

Anyway.

As part of this mild interest in improving my image (which I know is really necessary for professional situations), I have thought and my husband has mentioned on multiple occasions that maybe I ought to consider some make up.  Not like some women, who spend 30 minutes a day “putting their faces on” and will not appear outside their bedrooms until they are done.  I’ll never be that woman — it’s just not me.

I considered the idea for all of 30 seconds and dismissed it.  Why?  Because most make up is full of toxins.  I don’t see the point in trying to live a natural lifestyle and already not having a “need” to put on make up…and compromising that for the sake of beauty.  Why would I put that junk on my skin for vanity?

But then Emily of Redeeming Beauty approached me and asked me to review some of the natural make up she makes.  It’s not like all the other junk on the market.  I was intrigued.

Emily’s “Sugared Lime” eye shadow…isn’t it gorgeous?

Chemical-Free Make Up

If I was going to wear make up for professional situations or other times I wanted to specifically look nice, it would need to be healthy and safe.  I’m not compromising my health for beauty.

Emily’s make up does not require me to make that compromise.

She promises that her make up is free of:

  • Talc
  • Fragrance oils
  • Preservatives
  • Dyes
  • Petroleum
  • Parabens
  • and more!

Not only that, but she makes all of the make up herself, by hand.  Many of her products are vegan and none are tested on animals.  They are also really affordable.  The eye shadows (which is what she sent me to try) are only $5.49 each!

The foundations are only $16 each — who doesn’t pay more than that for any high-quality chemical make up?  These are based on minerals and they never expire, either, which is awesome for someone like me who wouldn’t use it very often.  I heard all the time that I needed to throw away my drugstore make up every 6 – 12 months due to color separation or bacterial growth, which was not cost-effective for me at all.  With Emily’s products that would not be an issue.

Emily’s blush (which is also mineral-based and does not expire) is only $10, and a little goes a long way — so it will last.  The lipsticks (again, mineral-based) are only $3.50.

The prices are great because I have looked up mineral/natural make up sets before and have seen them come in at $35 – $50 for just a basic foundation/powder set.  That seemed like a lot to spend to me…and realistically, as much as I wanted to change my image I was not going to spend that much on something I would rarely use!  Emily’s prices are a lot more realistic for me, and are a great savings for women who do use make up more often.

Emily also has a “hair and body” section with dry shampoo and sugar scrubs, and a new line of chemical-free nail polishes!  (And the nail polishes are only $6 each — I’ve seen most chemical-free nail polishes starting at $10.)

My make up, sitting on my bed!

How It Works

Okay, all of that is great.  Safe make up, no harmful chemicals, great prices.  But how does it work?  If it doesn’t look good, then it’s not worth anything.

The make up shipped to me very quickly and came well-wrapped on the outside and the inside.  The inner products are wrapped gently in natural-colored cloth — very cool.

I unwrapped my make up — I did not know what colors to expect.  Emily had asked for my hair and skin colors so that she could choose colors that would work for me.  (If you already know what color you want and she doesn’t have it, she will work with you to create a custom color!)  I got a light pink color, two shades of purple, and a primer.  You can see them unwrapped now.

I put on some of the lighter purple eye shadow, and I also played with the pink stuff.  It is very shimmery and smooth, and it goes on lightly — no garish colors or “clown make up” here.  It blends well and easily and adds just a hint of color, nothing crazy.  Subtle is very good for someone who doesn’t usually wear make up!

I do wish that Emily had the option of order brushes of some kind — since some of us (like me) are basically starting from scratch with make up.  I also wish she included some information on what brushes were best to use with what and how to apply it.  It is probably obvious to most women, but as a total make up novice — I need all the help I can get!  A small paper explaining what to apply first, what brush (or other tool) to use and how to make them look most natural would be awesome.

I can tell that these products will last a long time.  They are tiny little pots but you only need a tiny little bit!  Even with daily wear I think they would last several months.  With occasional wear, forever? :)

I couldn’t get a good picture of me wearing the make up — I tried!  But it was hard to see that I was wearing it because it is subtle (it is obvious in person — but the pictures weren’t great).  That’s okay.  Emily’s models look much prettier in the make up than I do….  Mine is applied with my not-so-adept hand and all. :)

Finally, I want to mention Emily’s customer service.  She stayed in contact with me throughout the selection process, without “bugging” me.  She asked for my skin and hair colors so she could recommend make up colors that would work well for me — a big help to someone who does not usually wear make up and has no idea what to choose.  She followed up with me to make sure that I liked the make up and it was working for me.  How many big companies will do any of that?

I think this make up is a great deal all the way around.  It’s hand made in the U.S. and everything is handled by Emily herself.  It’s chemical-free, mineral-based, and safe.  It’s reasonably priced, it doesn’t expire, so it’s really cost-effective whether you use it daily or infrequently.  I might just have to order more, and pepper Emily with questions on how to make it work the best, so that I am prepared for those days that I need a little image upgrade!

Want to Win?

Emily has graciously offered to give one “Basic Face Palette,” which will be customized to the winner’s coloring.  It consists of foundation, blush, and setting powder.  You could win!!

Use the Rafflecopter form below to enter.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This giveaway is open to U.S. residents over the age of 18.  It closes at 11:59 PM on Saturday, 1/26.  The winner will be announced on Monday, 1/28.  The first entry is required; all others are optional.

What would you choose if you won?

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Failed Feminism and Real Womanhood

Image by mrgreen09

I’m a work-at-home mom.  I blog, and that does take up a lot of time, but I also spend a lot of time cooking, cleaning, and raising my kids.  I prefer it this way: I specifically wanted to have a baby as soon as possible after I graduated from college so I wouldn’t be bored at home and I wouldn’t have to “get a real job.”  I had and have no desire to enter the corporate world, have regular out-of-home responsibilities, or forge a career.  I am perfectly content to run my blog from home, and just be mommy.

According to some, that means I’ve failed.  And I haven’t only failed myself — no, I have seriously setback feminism in a damaging way.

What is Feminism?

To hear a few very vocal feminists talk, feminism is about female power.  And this power is found in the corporate world, having careers, sexual freedom, avoiding marriage, emancipation from their families.

In this blog post, a feminist was quoted as saying this:

My generation fought for what women have nowadays; careers, contraceptives, busy lives, relationships without marriage, equality and freedom. NOW there are a load of lazy hippy mothers WANTING to undo all that fight and stay at home to breastfeed their babies until school age, carry them around, sleep with them until the child wants to leave the bed and even home school them when there is a perfectly good education system. And that’s not all. They are trying to guilt-trip all mothers into doing the same by implying that a mother who wants children AND a life is less of a mother and damaging to her child. Why? Attachment parenting is DEGRADING to women.”

Say what?

Excuse me, but that is not what feminism is about.  Feminism is not about having to have a career, or eschew marriage or use birth control.  No, true feminism is about choice.

That’s right.  Choice.

Feminists fought because women did not have the option to have careers or lives outside the home the way they do today.  They were, in some cases (whether subtly or overtly) forced to stay home and raise children, when that is not what all of them wanted.

The tables have turned now.  Women are, whether subtly or overtly, being forced to have careers.  No — they don’t “have” to.  But being a mother is denigrated constantly.  Just look at all these headlines!  And look at that quote!  Women are actually coming out to say that attachment parenting is ‘degrading’ to women!

Would the Real Feminists Please Stand Up?

I couldn’t resist the subtitle. :)

Here is what you must understand: There is no woman who has the life that she chose freely that is in any way ‘degrading to women.’

A woman may choose to remain single, have a high-powered career, have no children, and exercise sexual freedom.  She may choose to live barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, seeking to serve her husband and large family, never working outside her home a day in her life.  Or she may choose anything in between.

It does not matter.

The point is, she has the right to choose the life that she wants.

A true feminist does not put forth the idea that one path is superior, or that one path is more valued than another.  She does not say that women who are choosing a different path are ‘denigrating women’ or that they ‘hate women’ or that they are ‘setting back feminism 50 years.’  (Yes, I have heard so-called feminists say all of those things.)

Instead, a true feminist supports a woman’s right to choose the right path for her.  It doesn’t even make logical sense for a woman to stand up and say, “Look at those stupid attachment parents, they’re making everyone’s lives worse and setting back feminism, they really hate women.  What terrible people.”  I don’t hear the attachment parents insulting feminists!  In fact, plenty of attachment parents are feminists!  Anyone who would stand up and talk that way about someone else and decisions that do not affect them must really, honestly hate other women (or at least those who don’t agree with them).

Parenting Isn’t Feminist

I am not a slave to my children just because I enjoy keeping them close to me.  Parenting is incredibly sacrificial, any way you slice it!  Is the fact that wearing my baby in a wrap so that he’s close to my body and comforted making me a slave?  Does using a nice woven wrap (which I seriously love to do, especially when out and about) mean I am somehow denigrating feminists?

No.

I have the freedom to choose the parenting style that works for me.  My worth is not less because my primary role is “mother.”

Recently my mother brought me a newspaper clipping.  It was about a girl I’d graduated from high school with.  Nine years later and she’s earned a Ph.D. in industrial chemistry.  The entire clipping was self-written and clearly bragging about her research, degree, and her husband-to-be’s degree and job (both have doctorates and are working for a major chemical corporation).

It made me angry.  She’d always hated me in high school, so there was that.  But more importantly, she was bragging about how “successful” and high-powered her life was.  Worse, society would agree with her.  The fact that she’s now 27 and is just now finishing school to start a career, with a doctorate, is far more valued in society than a woman like me, who finished school at 22 and now stays at home, raising children.

It’s that part — that her lifestyle is more valuable than mine — that grates at me.

Motherhood is not somehow less valuable.  And “exclusive” (read: stay-at-home moms) motherhood isn’t the least valuable.  That’s how it’s treated.  We’re told that if we do have kids that we ought to pack them off to daycare so we can continue to have an independent life, shipping the kids off to daycare, planning out our careers and futures.  Our children are supposed to be accessories.

Isn’t that treatment of the issue rather selfish?  (Not that I think most mothers who work actually feel that way.  That’s just how the ‘most successful’ women are ‘supposed’ to act.)  How is that somehow more valuable?  Aren’t mothers who put their children first — whether they work or stay home — really the most successful women?  (Obviously this doesn’t apply to women who don’t have children, who can also be perfectly successful.)

There is nothing that is somehow anti-feminist about being a mother.  Nothing.  We need mothers.  And we should value them.  Women shouldn’t be more or less valuable as people because of their motherhood status!

Feminism and Attachment Parenting

So, can you be feminist and an attachment parent?

Well, I sure know some.  I wouldn’t necessarily define myself as a “feminist” because frankly, after the feminists who’ve gotten a lot of attention lately (like the one quoted above), the word gives me a bad feeling.  And that’s pretty sad since obviously not all feminists are like that.  The few militant “you must have a job” feminists out there are ruining it for the rest.

But back to the issue at hand.

I breastfeed my babies until they self-wean.  That does not make me “tied” to them.  I can still go out and have an evening with friends or even spend some hours each day working on my blog or other projects and still nurse them when it’s convenient for both of us.  Not to mention it makes night feedings super easy….  Yes, it actually makes my life easier to breastfeed, allowing me the freedom to be who I am.

The same goes for babywearing.  We go out and I put the baby in a carrier and away we go.  I don’t have to carry a cumbersome carseat, or worse, try to find a babysitter or wait until my husband is available so I don’t have to take him at all.  No, I just pop him in the carrier and away we go — hands-free, no less!  I’ve tried all kinds of carriers and I prefer a Moby for young babies and Mei Tai-style for older ones.  Woven Wraps has all the different styles available, so if you’re not sure what you want (or you want to try several!), you might check them out.  They have videos and educational documents on how best to use the carriers, too.

Co-sleeping…I don’t have to get out of bed!  I get more sleep!  That means that in the morning, I can be a more patient mommy and also have a more focused brain, meaning I can get more done on my own projects, too.  How is that bad?  Baby’s happy, mommy’s happy….

I could go on, but these three practices have been the focus of this debate.  And the bottom line?  These parenting practices work for me, and they make me a happier and saner mommy, which means I have more patience and happiness and ability to focus not only on my children, but on other stuff too.  Can someone tell me how that is bad, anti-woman, or degrading?

(And yes, I fully believe you can be a good parent without any of these things.  But no one’s arguing about that.)

Focus on Womanhood

No woman is ‘more woman’ than another.  There are all types of women out there.  God created us to be special and unique!

No woman, by living her life and following her path, is somehow degrading or hating other women.  Only women (or anyone) who actually verbally (or otherwise) attack other women or their way of life are actually degrading women.  It’s not in your choices, people, it’s in your actions towards others.

Let’s change this conversation away from why motherhood, or particular styles of motherhood are “good for women” or “not good for women” and focus instead on actually supporting women so that they can make the choices that are right for them.

Final thought: women should never be elevated at the expense of men.  Degrading men isn’t the answer.  And moms, do you really want to give your daughters advantages…at the expense of your sons?  I doubt it.

Is any particular lifestyle ‘degrading to women?’  What do you think about feminists who make this claim?

**This post sponsored in part by Woven Wraps.**

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We Are Not a Burden

With a new baby and children in general, comes a lot of giving of yourself.  This means sometimes ignoring your needs and wants, which can put your husband on the back burner.  I know mine has expressed this.

The Problem

Remember when it was just the two of you?  All those extra little things you did to make his day a bit better.  Those things that made him feel special and the center of your world (well, next to God).  The late nights with uninterrupted cuddling.

Well, in comes this amazing new life, a blessing, a great gift.  You are now parents.  With this you are exhausted, you don’t have space for yourself, much less someone who is perfectly capable of taking care of  himself.

Well, that was my attitude with our first two children.

To a large degree I left my husband out to dry, to fend for himself, because I felt like I was drowning.  But all these things I had trained him to be accustomed to had just disappeared.  Not only was he now even more pushed into the role of “having to be a man,” he now has a wife whose focus is someone other than him.

Yes, there is a time for self (and baby) preservation, but we can’t let it become our way of life.  Merely surviving is not good enough.  If our relationship is thriving then the rare days of, “Well honey, all I was able to do today was keep the kids alive,” will bring a smile to his face rather than a huge sigh of a burdened life.

Start with Small Changes

If you are feeling like life is hard and lacking luster — I’ve been there.  Feeling like you are so worn that there is nothing else to give.  Just act like you do.  Seriously, when you aren’t happy put on a smile — you might find there really is something to be joyful about.

Something that doesn’t take any extra time, but maybe a little biting of the tongue is in your response to your husband.  A few months ago I was having a bit of a challenging day.  My husband had asked about going that night to meet up with a friend.  My initial reaction wasn’t that great.

My thoughts were a little angry and jealous.  “Why should he get to go and have time with a friend, while I am stuck at home? . . . No, you need to come home and be with us.  You’ve been gone all day.”  But, then I knew he was going to be happier and less stressed if he was able to have some breathing space.  Him being in a good mood lets him interact better with me and the kids.

So instead of retorting to his text with a begrudging, response of “Fine,” I answered back with, “That sounds great!”  The funny thing about this was that because I had not been practicing this positivity for long, he thought I was being facetious with my answer.


Texting is wonderful thing!  But we need to be careful to think before we write. And remember too, that your husband cannot hear your tone.   How about a just because text for randomness sake?   I still get that little butterfly feeling when I get a random text in the day just because I love you!

Prepare a Place

My husband is OVERLY sensitive to smells.  There are days that just walking in the house can put him in a bad mood.  It drives me nuts!  I’ve been home all day, so the cooking or kid smell – so I can’t always detect it.  My solution is to make sure the windows are open and I’ve started something yummy smelling.

Coconut oil, eucalyptus and spearmint essential oil and tart burner make for a quick, easy and affordable solution!


Some other things you can do for his homecoming are really simple.

First, give yourself some time to be able to get outside if you’ve had a trying and busy day, so you can . . . be joyful when he gets there!

Don’t burden him with how stressful or hard your day was, give him some time to unwind and enjoy.  Do share with him and find out about his day, just don’t bombard him with it at the door.  Save it for the end or after dinner.

Have dinner close to being ready.  Have the kids going with a project or toys they can play with in a stationary manner.  Something like legos, coloring or play-doh are good choices, this hopefully will cut down on fights between them for Papa’s arrival.

One of my deepest desires is to make our home a sanctuary and safe place for my husband.  I want him to look forward to coming home to a restful place.  I know this isn’t always possible and at times our home has been far from it.  We have sometimes described it as a battleground, especially when I was working outside the home.

If you can take the hour before your husband arrives to set things in motion, you have more of a chance for success.  If dinner is ready, kids are happy and house is calm – all the unfinished laundry and dishes, toys littering the floor and works in progress can be more easily overlooked.

Spoil Him

Something I have added to my weekly routine is making sure I have more than just leftovers available for him to bring for his lunch.   Sundays, I prepare vegetables and protein for him for the week – as well as getting a start on my weekly cooking.


Recently I actually asked him to “score” dinner options.  I sent him a list of meals and asked him to add to it and then mark the ones he didn’t really like and then the ones that were his favorites.  I know it sounds a little business like to be emailing my husband about his preferences, but honestly it has helped SO much in our communication and being able to actually get stuff right.  It is so disappointing to work on a meal and then to find out that, no, he doesn’t like that at all – it was such and such he likes, not chicken pot pie.

So on a night he’s not going to be home, or home late I make something he’s not that interested in.  And at least one night a week I make something he likes that not necessarily everyone else does.  Lately, I’ve spoiled him with an evening banana pudding milk shake.

I’ve got to tell you, to read “Not gonna lie.  My wife is definitely spoiling me.  She knows exactly what to give me for lunch.  It’s healthy and yummy and filling.  And the last two nights has made me an amazingly yummy banana pudding shake!” as his status update, you know you have something down right.

My Contribution

I am a newly stay/work-at-home mom.  We are well into our seventh year of marriage, up until our third child was born I was working outside the home.  Sometimes a few jobs at once and contributing to a third of our income.

While I am LOVING being at home with my kids, I feel a little guilty.  I know I am only ten weeks into a new baby and balancing three kids for the first time, so I am trying to give myself a break.  But I struggle with feeling like the kids and I are a burden, one man supporting the four of us.  Nonetheless I am still coming to terms with not being able to add to our income.

So I am working hard to save us money.  Not buying those extra things I used to (you know that stuff on sale or clearance – you know you will use it, but don’t necessarily need it).  One way to avoid this to cut down on my amount of shopping trips and not wandering around in the store, but staying focused.  Also I focus on buying foods in season and thus on sale.


We (meaning me and the kids), have been working hard on our garden.  I have made sure to plant things that my husband likes too, so I can add to his weekly veggie platter.  We have also added ten chicks to our two laying hens.  This is also part of my plan to monetarily add to our income.

Selling eggs, when they start popping them out in a couple months, will be a great start.  Once I get some regular customers I can sell our excess produce from the garden, yogurt, as well as baked goods and homemade canned meals.  These are things I am already doing for our family so it doesn’t add a whole new component to our lives – just bigger batches.

How are you striving to be a blessing and not a burden to your husband?

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Monday Health & Wellness: Managing Your “Cycle” Naturally

Image by daveynin

Prior to getting pregnant for the first time, I used to buy and use regular tampons.  And I had the “normal” cramps and pain and irritability and bloating and all the fun stuff that goes along with that time of the month.  So fun, right?

Post- pregnancy I couldn’t quite bring myself to use tampons anymore (I have no idea why), so I used regular disposable pads.  It wasn’t really better.  After my second pregnancy, I switched to cloth.  This was better.  And a few weeks ago after getting my cycle back postpartum this time, I noticed something new: absolutely no pain, whatsoever.  Nothing.  Other than the obvious “messy” factor, I wouldn’t have even known I had it. (It’s been better in other ways, too, which I’ll talk about below.)  And this is possible for others, too.

Painful Periods

So many women struggle with pain around their cycle.  Some are basically incapacitated for a few days each month.  How terrible is that, that what is a normal biological function can completely knock women out so frequently?  And how inconvenient, too — what if you have a job, or children?  How are you going to deal with your normal responsibilities?  Not to mention having to cope with the pain.

It isn’t normal.  And it doesn’t have to stay that way.

The reasons for this pain (also known, in some cases, as PMDD — Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) are related to health.  Diet, environmental factors, hormonal imbalances.  A lot of people do not realize that there is something “wrong” when they are suffering this way.  We are told it’s par for the course, and that you will just have to take OTC drugs, or possibly prescription drugs, in order to manage the pain.  Women are even told that they should take hormonal birth control in order to “balance” their bodies — which is a terrible idea!  This introduces synthetic hormones, masking the problems (in some cases), but certainly not solving them.

Women struggle with painful periods for the following reasons (this is not an exhaustive list):

  • PMDD
  • Endometriosis
  • PCOS
  • Thyroid disorders
  • Other endocrine/hormonal issues

This leads to signs and symptoms like:

  • Bloating
  • Cramping
  • Backaches
  • Headaches
  • Diarrhea or constipation
  • Feeling too cold or hot
  • Fatigue
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Mood swings
  • Appetite changes, food cravings
  • Insomnia
  • Weight gain

It’s rough to feel this way.  Especially when it feels unpredictable (for women with longer or irregular cycles).  However, these symptoms are there for a reason.  They’re there to clue you in to what’s going on with your hormones, and if you can solve the puzzle, you can find relief!

Hormonal Shifts are Normal

Women have natural hormonal shifts throughout their menstrual cycle.  It’s normal.  What’s not normal is the wild swings or imbalances that some women experience.  Subtle, yet obvious shifts are expected.

You can read more about what’s normal in my post on tracking your fertility signs.  This is something that is a good idea for all women to do, so that they can get a clear picture of what’s going on with their bodies.  I’m beginning to track this myself now since I have gotten mine back postpartum (on cycle #2 now…and so far I’m pretty sure I’m not ovulating, but otherwise it’s perfectly regular and normal!  More on that in a minute).

Tracking your cycle variables — temperature, cervical position, and any symptoms you’re having (like above) will give you a clue to what is happening, and help you to balance your hormones.

Try using Fertility Flower to help you keep track of all of these variables.  It’s the perfect place because it already has everything you want to track on the forms.

Naturally Balancing Your Hormones

When I got my period back after Daniel was born, he was around 9 months old.  I knew I wasn’t ovulating yet because my “symptoms” weren’t right.  Also, for the first time in my life, my period was sort of irregular.  My second one showed up 9 days “late” (at 37 days instead of 28).  At the time, I weighed only around 118 lbs. — I am 5’3″.  I was so happy to weigh so little — but I don’t think it was healthy for my body.  As my weight slowly rose, settling around 130, my cycle got closer and closer to regular, and then I finally ovulated about 15 months postpartum (and immediately got pregnant with Jacob).

This time, I got my period back at about 6.5 months.  I am heavier, weighing around 140.  But this time it’s been exactly regular so far, and I haven’t had the pain or fatigue that I did before.  Everything has been much easier and more normal.  So despite being not entirely pleased to be a bit heavier, my body seems “healthier” for it (this is still within the “normal” range for my height, just on the high side of it — and I have a medium bone structure and a lot of curves too).

Weight

So this brings us to the first point: what is a healthy weight for women?

I believe it is both more than we’re told, and less than it often is.

I’m struggling with how to even describe the “average” woman’s weight right now.  Clothing sizes are not standardized and are terrible (recently, I rejected a 10 in one brand as ‘too small’ and ended up buying a 6 in another brand that fit perfectly…).  BMI isn’t accurate for women, especially shorter women.

I’ll try to go with appearance.  It’s normal to have fat deposits on your hips, in your breasts, and in your thighs.  It’s even normal to have some — but not too much — in your abdomen.  (High amounts of abdominal fat are associated with increased risk of heart disease.  It’s better to have it in your hips and thighs.)  It’s not normal (for most women) to have extremely thin bodies with little fatty tissue.  Women need to have 15 – 20% body fat to be healthy (and some women may be up to 24% and be perfectly healthy).  Significantly more or less is associated with hormonal imbalances.  (BMI, again, is not a good measure of this.  Find a professional to actually measure you.)  In some cases, though, a woman has gained weight because of hormonal imbalance, rather than the imbalance causing the weight gain.

Don’t forget that a healthy diet will help to maintain or reach a healthy weight!

Detoxification

These days, many women see their cycles as an annoyance.  There are birth control methods that suppress your period for months at a time.  This is truly a terrible idea.

Your cycle isn’t just shedding the lining of your uterus (which is important).  It’s also cleaning out old hormones, skin cells, and anything else that needs to go.  It’s a time of detoxification for your body.  I have found that I have less of an appetite and that I crave lots of fruits and vegetables, lighter food.  I especially love my FCLO and my herbal multivitamin.  I drink lots of water.

Rather than fighting this natural process, we need to embrace it.  Allow it to happen and support your body.  Treat it as a natural form of detox, as it is.

Here are some ways to support your body:

  • Get extra rest
  • Take Epsom salt baths
  • Take extra FCLO
  • Take an herbal multivitamin, and/or an herbal infusion (details below)
  • Go easy on grains or heavy foods; focus on light, fresh foods
  • Drink plenty of water or electrolyte drink

I’m trying to do all of these things now.

An herbal infusion that may assist you is: equal parts dandelion, red clover, red raspberry leaf and spearmint.  These are high in B vitamins, iron, magnesium, and a number of other vitamins and minerals.  Dandelion is nourishing and also helps to gently detoxify.  Red raspberry and red clover help to balance hormones and can relieve cramping and pain.  Spearmint is good for taste, and it’s also really high in folate.

Many women have experienced relief from severe menstrual symptoms with red clover and red raspberry.  This is a great place to start, if you’re needing relief and aren’t sure what is going on.

The Role of Cloth

Using disposable menstrual supplies (pads and tampons) can negatively affect your health.  These products are usually bleached and deodorized and contain chemicals which can be absorbed into your very sensitive skin.  This, in turn, can cause additional pain and cramping.

Many women find that when they switch to cloth pads or reusable menstrual cups, they experience less pain.  For women who are struggling, it is definitely worth a try.  Of course, any reduction in exposure to chemicals is a good idea!

Healthy Temperatures

I’ve been reading a little bit at 180degreehealth.com recently, because I’ve discovered my body temperature is really low — it was only 96.8!  Ideally it should be over 98.  I have a tendency to skip meals, which drops my metabolism down, which can lead to gaining weight or hanging onto extra weight (not being able to lose).

I’m going to try to stop skipping meals and see if I can get my temperatures to rise.  I have been in the habit for so many years now of skipping meals (at first, years ago, because I thought it would make me thinner and healthier — which is a lie — and now because I’m just so busy being mommy and everything else that I take care of myself last!) that it’s hard to even eat enough.  I actually physically don’t want to eat very much, even when I know I need to.

So my goal is going to be to eat a little more than what I feel comfortable with.  Never to stuff myself, but to make sure I’m eating to satisfaction at all meals and having snacks in between too.  Today I’m going to go through my pantry and see what I can make with what I have.  (I’ll post on that later — who wants to join me with that?)

Get Healthy, Manage Your Cycle

Balancing your body and aiding the natural detoxification that occurs will help to solve some of the problems listed above.  It’s not a cure-all, but it’s a great place to start to ease the symptoms and start getting your body back in balance.  It will help you to feel stronger and healthier all the time, and — if you’re in this place in your life — prepare your body to conceive and have a healthy pregnancy.  I’m not there right now, so I’m looking at this just to be a healthier person.

**This post has been entered in Monday Mania at The Healthy Home Economist.**

Have you struggled with painful or irregular periods?  Have you ever looked at it as a mini-detox?

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Tracking Your Fertility Signs

Image by lulumon athletica

Recently, several of my readers have been asking me about women’s health issues — things like fertility, pregnancy, PCOS, balancing their hormones, etc.  It’s a big issue.  Women don’t have a lot of truthful information about their health.  Western medicine doesn’t understand how heavily hormones play into everything that happens with our health.

Why Track Fertility Signs?

It reminded me that I have never posted on tracking your fertility signs, which is a huge way for women to know what’s up with their bodies.  Believe me — this is not just for women who want to get pregnant.  Tracking these signs is a way to tell if your body is on track hormonally.  Women can tell (by sharing these signs with a qualified medical professional, who can interpret them in her particular case) whether she’s suffering from:

  • PCOS
  • Anovulatory cycles
  • Insulin resistance
  • Adrenal dysfunction
  • Thyroid dysfunction
  • Other issues of hormonal balance

This can provide a clue as to why you can’t lose weight, if you’re at risk for diabetes or metabolic syndrome, if you have a thyroid condition, and of course, help you conceive (if that’s what you’re after).  This is something all women should do!  This is one major reason I’ve got pregnant fairly quickly and easily each time — I carefully tracked all my signs.  Even when we were “struggling” for 6 months to conceive Jacob (I was still breastfeeding frequently around the clock and this naturally suppressed fertility), I could tell by tracking my signs that things just weren’t “right” yet.  This is a really important tool!

The “What”

Let’s take a quick look at which signs you should track, and what they mean:

  • BBT — Basal Body Temperature, or your temperature as soon as you wake in the morning, before you even get out of bed.  This is your lowest temperature of the day.  A temperature below 98 is an indication that your metabolism is low and may indicate dysfunction in your adrenal or thyroid glands.  You should see a sustained shift upwards by .2 or .3 degrees mid-cycle, which indicates that ovulation has occurred.  Your BBT will drop again right before or when you begin your period.
  • Other Temperatures — Take your temperature also at noon, 3 PM, 6 PM, and bedtime.  A low temperature and fatigue at 3 (which should be your highest of the day) indicates adrenal dysfunction, which can play a role in infertility as well as several other issues.
  • Cervical mucus — At the beginning of your cycle (when you start your period), it should rather dry (except the bleeding).  After the first week, it should gradually change to creamy, then stringy, then clear/watery, and mid-cycle, “egg white.”  This means clear, thick, jelly-like and stretchy, like raw egg whites.  It indicates that ovulation is either about to occur, or that your body is attempting to ovulate.  If you see this “EWCM” multiple times in your cycle, especially if it is earlier or later than expected, it may mean your hormones are surging to try to ovulate but are unsuccessful.  (I saw this a lot during the 6 months prior to Jacob’s conception, and I’m seeing it again now.  I haven’t gotten my period back.)
  • Cervical Position — Your cervix changes quite a lot in position and texture throughout your cycle.  At the beginning, it is low, hard, and mostly closed.  As you approach mid-cycle, it should rise higher, soften quite a bit, and open.  (It might take you a couple months to get the hang of what ‘hard’ and ‘soft’ feel like, but they are drastically different.)  The “high, soft, open” indicates ovulation is about to occur, or has recently occurred.  After ovulation, it should drop back down, firm, and close.  A cervix that doesn’t follow this pattern may indicate that ovulation isn’t occurring, if you look at it with the other signs.

Other Signs

The above signs are the main ones that you need to track to see what’s up.  But additional things may or may not occur, and these can also provide clues as to what’s going on with your body.  If you note any of the following signs, make sure to pay attention to when they are happening and what else is going on at the same time, as these can be important.
  • Spotting — Spotting may occur around implantation, if you get pregnant.  It can also occur at random times if something’s out of balance with your hormones, usually when progesterone is suppressed (I tend to see it 2 – 5 months PP every few weeks, as a first sign that my body is trying to re-balance).  If you are not ovulating based on the other signs, it’s probably a sign that your body is trying to heal, but could be a sign of another condition (see your doctor).
  • Nausea — Many women say that pregnancy causes nausea early on because of spiking progesterone levels.  Progesterone also surges as you approach ovulation and stays higher in the second half of your cycle.  I have found that when my body is attempting to ovulate (but prolactin, in my case, is suppressing it), I feel nauseous and morning-sickness-like for a couple days in the middle of the month.  I believe it is because of progesterone and other hormones surging.
  • Sore Breasts — Similar to pregnancy, you may feel breast tenderness when your hormones are surging.  It can be another indication that your body is trying to ovulate.
  • “Mittelschmerz” — It means pain with ovulation, and is felt on the lower left or right side.  This can indicate that ovulation has occurred, or is occurring (I have felt this and used it as a guide to conceive).

Image by tjmwatson

The “How”

Tracking BBT

To track your BBT, you’ll need a thermometer that is digital and reads to the hundredth of a degree (97.98, for example).  Each morning (ideally around the same time), take your temperature before rising.  This means before you go to the bathroom, before you take a drink of water, anything.  Record this temperature on a chart.  Ideally, your temperature will be around 98 to 98.6 in the morning, and will shift up .2 or .3 degrees post-ovulation (shift needs to be sustained at least 3 days to ‘prove’ ovulation really happened.  More than 18 days and pregnancy is highly likely).

Take your temperature also at 12 PM, 3 PM, 6 PM, and bed time.  3 PM should be your highest temperature.  A low temperature at this time can indicate adrenal dysfunction.

Cervical Mucus

When you use the bathroom, you can check for this.  Using clean hands, reach slightly into your vagina and touch the secretions there — this is cervical mucus.  Sometimes you will not notice much of anything; other times there will be so much that there will be a decent amount on the toilet paper when you wipe.  Note the texture of what you see — dry, sticky, creamy, watery, or egg white (thick and stretchy like raw egg whites).  It should progress from dry at the beginning of your cycle (after your period) to egg white in the middle (at ovulation) then back again as your period approaches.  It will move back towards dry initially even if you are pregnant, so this is not a sign.  Once you are further into your pregnancy, you will see a lot more creamy and stringy cervical mucus, but by the time you see this, you will have had a positive test.  If you don’t notice egg white or watery CM at all, or you notice it several times (along with a lack of temperature shift), this may mean you are not ovulating.

Cervical Position

This, too, you can check for when you use the bathroom.  Sometimes, it will be hard to reach, or even impossible.  Other times it will be easy.  With clean hands, reach up inside your vagina.  You will feel a small, knobby thing — it is very different from the surrounding soft tissues.  Your cervix will change quite a lot in both texture and position throughout your cycle.  At the beginning (during your period), it will be thin, hard, low (easy to reach) and mostly closed.  You may notice a small opening in it, and it will feel narrow (maybe like a thin marker in diameter).  As you approach the middle of your cycle and ovulation, it will rise up high (may not be able to reach), become thicker and wider, open, and very soft.  This indicates that you are fertile (especially with fertile CM and a temperature shift).

The important of tracking the cervix is that it lets you know when ovulation is coming, while a temperature shift lets you know ovulation has already occurred.  Conception occurs most easily in the 2 – 5 days pre-ovulation and 12 – 24 hours post-ovulation.  (After this the egg decays and cannot be fertilized.  A lot of women are simply missing this window.)

In pregnancy, the cervix shifts up high and becomes very soft, and may feel “open,” but it is blocked by a mucus plug to protect the baby.  (It especially will feel “open” if you have already had a baby.)  This won’t occur until 6 – 8 weeks, however, so cervical position and texture isn’t a reliable early pregnancy sign.

Other Signs

Simply note on a chart if you have any spotting, pain, headaches, nausea, sore breasts, or anything else out of the ordinary — no matter how minor.  It may or may not be related, but it’s good to note.

What Next?

The most important thing is to take your chart to a practitioner who is qualified to read these charts.  They can look at the combination of signs and will be able to tell if your hormones are off, why, and what to do next.  It’s likely that you will be prescribed a fertility diet (including lots of healthy fats).  Other treatments may include herbs, acupuncture, or other treatments that will help balance your body.

Be very wary of anyone who suggests using synthetic hormones to manipulate your body into a pregnancy.  This is not a good long-term solution.

Your practitioner may also recommend follow-up tests, like checking your blood sugar, or doing saliva tests for adrenal function and other hormones.  These can offer even more insight into what your body is doing, hormonally.  If pregnancy’s not your goal, then you may be recommended to use bioidentical hormones for certain conditions.  Ask your doctor.

For a lot of women, estrogen dominance is a big problem.  Removing any extra sources of estrogen from your diet can help. These include:

  • Any type of plastic
  • Soy
  • Pesticides
  • Cosmetics
  • Pharmaceuticals

This is not an exhaustive list, and a qualified professional can let you know what to avoid (if needed).

Tracking your fertility signs is complicated, but can help you figure out what’s going on with your body, so that you can re-balance as needed, to achieve both general health and pregnancy!

Do you track your fertility signs?  Has it helped you?

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