Image by USACE European District

Welcome to my series on vaccines!  This is the third post in the series.  If you haven’t yet, go back and read Let’s Get Serious and Bad Reasons Not to Vaccinate.

Before we go any further, it’s important that we talk about science. What it means, how it’s done, and why we ought to be cautious.  Finding evidence in a peer-reviewed medical journal is not a guarantee that the information is accurate and valid.  (And neither is information from alternative sources, either — we need to be skeptical across the board.)

Many of us already in the “anti-vax” camp have heard of so many poorly done studies and so many financial ties and other issues that we already don’t trust any study that comes out.  We pick it apart and dismiss medical science as a whole — or at least most of it.  This isn’t helpful right now.  Instead, we need to evaluate studies individually to see if they have merit, without bias.  We need to look at how and why science is done, so that we can clearly evaluate which studies should be trusted and why.

A Note on Sources and Numbers

Do not ever trust a source that states a fact without being able to back up that fact.  It does not matter if the source is www.quackmedicine.com or www.cdc.gov.  Really.  (I don’t have any idea if that first site exists, I’m just making stuff up.)

For example, if an alternative site says “Up to 50% of people are damaged by their vaccines!” but does not cite any study or other proof, do not believe them.

If the WHO says, “We think that immunity occurs in 99% of people and lasts a lifetime,” and they don’t cite any study or source, do not believe them either.  This is a common tactic on official “fact sheets,” citing statistics without any studies to back them up.  These are accepted by the community at large as facts because it is coming from an official source.  But it makes no difference if they don’t have any research to prove it.

Bottom line: disregard any statistic that cannot be traced back to a reliable study.

How are Studies Conducted?

There are a number of different types of studies.  The “gold standard” in science is the double-blind, placebo controlled study.  If such a study were conducted on vaccines, it would look like this:

Two large groups of people would go in to “get vaccinated.”  (A few thousand, at least.)  Approximately half would be offered the actual vaccine, and half would be offered saline solution.  Neither the scientists nor the participants would have any idea who got what.  They would be tracked for at least six months to note if there were any immediate or delayed reactions that definitely or potentially were attributed to the vaccine.  Rates of diseases in both groups would also be tested, as would antibodies/titres to the specific illness in question.  This would allow researchers to know how effective each vaccines was, what the side effects really looked like, and do a cost/benefit analysis of the vaccine.

No such study of vaccines exists, however.  (Think about that for a moment.)

Other types of studies include case studies, blind studies (where scientists know who gets what but participants don’t), and studies that are not placebo-controlled.  The vast majority of vaccine safety studies are tested like this:

A group of a few hundred people take the vaccine — sometimes there is a small “placebo” group, but they are often given a previously licensed version, and this is what is compared — and they are followed for 2 – 6 weeks to look for any reactions.

Not all studies are conducted this way.  But it’s important to know how they are conducted.  Here are some questions to ask about each study you come across (and which I’ll be asking as I continue to research):

• What was the sample size of the group?  (Larger is better)
• How long was the group followed? (Longer is better)
• Was the experiment double-blind, blind, or did everyone know what they were getting?  (Double-blind is best)
• Was the experiment placebo-controlled?  (ideally, yes)
• If so, what was the placebo?  (Sometimes placebos can in and of themselves cause reactions in the body)
• What was the study’s main question?  Was it worded in such a way that it could bias the results?
• Were the sample groups equal in number?  Or was one or more group(s) significantly larger or smaller?  (Affects the statistical significance of the results)
• How were the test subjects selected?  What was the criteria?  Is this representative of the population that will eventually use this drug/vaccine?
• Was any data excluded from the final data set?  Why? (Sometimes unusually severe reactions are excluded as anomalies, and later found to be related to the drug/vaccine once it’s tested on a much larger group — often, the public.)
• Do the conclusions match the actual results? (Sometimes they actually don’t, so read the original text of the study)
• If a true placebo was used, was the actual drug/vaccine statistically significantly more effective than the placebo?
• Are there other published studies that back up this study’s results?  Are there other studies that contradict this study’s results?  How valid are these studies, by the measures above?

When examining these questions, it’s easy to see there are many ways that a study could be poorly designed — and thus, not a good measure of safety or efficacy for anything.

A study which has a small number of total participants, a very small number who receive a placebo, no true placebo, is not a double-blind study, selects only the healthiest and most robust test subjects, excludes severe reactions because of “coincidence” and whose conclusion is a bit more optimistic than study data would suggest is not a valid study.  Obviously this example is where just about everything is done wrong, and that’s not usually the case.

It’s important to examine each study, though, to see how valid it really is.  A study that is poorly done is not evidence, even if it passes the peer-review process and is published.

Are Surveys Valid?

Sometimes, surveys are done as studies.  These are usually simple sets of questions that researchers ask parents — like, “Did your receive this vaccine?  Did s/he have a reaction to it?”

These are actually great for preliminary research.  They can raise red flags in areas and point to where researchers should begin looking more deeply.  If several parents are reporting a reaction to a particular vaccine, especially if those reactions are similar in nature, then this would bear more serious, well-designed research.

This type of research can also note general trends.  A large survey-study was done recently comparing the health of vaccinated and unvaccinated children.  The overall trends showed that unvaccinated children tended to have lower rates of asthma, autism, allergies, ADHD, etc.  It bears further research, but is very interesting to note.

Of course, there are several problems with this type of research too:

• Parental recall isn’t perfect, and important information may be missed, or possibly exaggerated (not necessarily on purpose)
• Study questions can be designed poorly in order to get a particular response
• Sample sizes are often small, due to low response rate
• Controlling for variables is difficult to impossible (diet, income, ethnicity, etc.)

Research like this can’t be relied on as “the” answer to anything.  It should, however, be used in its proper context: to note trends to know what to study more thoroughly.

Follow the Money

I would be remiss not to mention this issue.  Most studies on vaccines are conducted by the pharmaceutical companies.  It’s simply the nature of the business — they have paid the researchers to develop these drugs, and they pay to have the testing done.  It is a required step of approval, it’s done frequently on a number of different potential products, and it doesn’t make financial sense to have trials conducted by independent labs.  Thus, pharmaceutical companies fund their own research.

While this is financially practical, it can and does lead to corruption in certain studies.

When looking at any study, it’s important to ask the following:

• Who paid for this study?
• Who authored this study?  Was this person the actual researcher, or a ghost writer?
• Does this study’s results differ strongly from studies funded differently?  (This happens)

There have been cases where research was poorly conducted by a ghost writer, and a “major” researcher’s name was slapped on the study.  Make sure this is not the case.

There have also been cases where certain researchers specifically fudged the numbers to make things look better than they were, and eventually became notorious for doing so.  Were any of these researchers involved in the current study?

Always read studies with a critical eye.

Science is Naturally Fallible

Bottom line, science is done by people.  People make mistakes.  People can design studies poorly (even by accident).  They can mix up results.  They can interpret results a bit too “hopefully.”  People are biased.

Researchers generally believe, in their hearts, that medical interventions are good and save lives — which they can, if properly used.  But researchers can become blinded by all of the different interventions surrounding them and become too “adjusted” to their use, and recommend them too frequently.  They can overlook side effects too easily because they earnestly believe in the benefits.

The same is true, of course, of anything in natural health.  People can believe that “if it’s natural, it’s safe,” and use any product in any dose at any time (and this is not safe).  They can get caught up in always refusing conventional treatment because they are so into all things “natural.”

It is so important to remember this happens on both sides, and so to take the advice of any single source lightly.  The important thing to notice is trends that show up over time, from a variety of sources.

It’s also important to note that people have individual body chemistries, and that even if something appeared to help some, it may not help you.  People are not carbon copies.  They are unique individuals with unique needs, and “one size” does not fit all.

Finally, avoid those who are spouting dogma on either side.  Those who believe that vaccines always are beneficial are as bad as those who say anyone who chooses a vaccine is crazy.  Those “science lovers” who call the rest of the world “science denyers” have made science into their own religion, and it’s not healthy.  Science is imperfect and inexact because that is the nature of people and the world at large.  When scientists believe in science above all else — it is religion.  Science should be done, but should be interpreted and evaluated with a little common sense.

In general, if someone refuses to believe that vaccines are a decision to weigh carefully, and that you are intelligent enough to do your own research — ignore.

What do you think about modern science?  Do you trust it completely or do look with a critical eye?

It’s here!

Real Food, Real Easy is an amazing guide to all things real food.  If you’ve ever wondered how to sprout grains, what the deal is with sweeteners is, how to make basic real food ingredients at home, and much more — this book is for you.

Real Food, Real Easy is a collaboration between myself and Erin of The Humbled Homemaker (who also edited the book and whose husband designed the cover), Stacy of Stacy Makes Cents, Nikki of Christian Mommy Blogger, Justyn of Creative Christian Mama, Rachel of Day 2 Day Joys, and Debra of Sweet Kisses and Dirty Dishes.

The book contains more than 70 real food recipes, with links to many, many more–including a whole page with links to 17 homemade ingredients, like homemade butter, bread crumbs, yogurt, whipped cream, etc.

This book can potentially be all a real food newbie needs (minus the cost of food!) to feed their family in the early days of converting to real food. With breakfast, lunch, dinner (both main and side dishes), breads and appetizers, there’s no need to look elsewhere!

It contains:

• An in-depth break-down of real food sweeteners in the desserts intro.
• An explanation of soaking grains
• A tutorial (with pics!) of sprouting grains
• A dirty dozen/clean 15 list
• A look at GMO foods and why they need to be avoided
• A list of places to purchase real food
• Resources for Further Reading
• And much, much more!

Some of the recipe titles include:

• Breakfast Strata
• Overnight Baked Oatmeal
• Savory Salsa Crustless Quiche
• Buttermilk Pancakes
• Grape & Chicken Salad
• Tuna Melts
• Pita Pizzas
• Spanish Steak Casserole
• Slow Cooker Chicken and Broth
• Slow Cooker Cheeseburger Meatloaf
• Dilly Carrots
• Roasted Green Beans
• Baked Beans
• Chewy Chocolate Squares
• Apple Crisp
• Gluten-Free Pumpkin Cake
• Garlic Cheese Biscuits
• Garlic-Rosemary Cloverleaf Rolls
• Pumpkin Bread
• Whole Wheat Crescent Rolls
• Salsa Verde
• Crock Pot Applesauce
• Dill Yogurt Dip

Many recipes also offer allergen-free options!

The book usually sells for $9.95, but we have some excellent launch-day deals!  With code REALBIGDISCOUNT50, get the book for 50% off!  Hurry though — only through 2 PM EST today!  If you miss this deal, use code REALFOODMINUS25 to get 25% off the book through Friday, 2/25.

Enjoy it!

Are you new to real food?  What recipe in here are you most eager to try?

Image by spaceodissey

A reader, Lindsay, recently shared her story with me.  She had tested positive twice in a row on a Group B strep test while pregnant.  Not wanting antibiotics during labor, she decided to use the following combination of natural treatments to become GBS negative.  A third test shows that it worked!

Please understand this is for informational purposes only.  It’s not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure anything.  This is just one reader’s story of what worked for her.

Group B Strep Natural Remedy

Lindsay says: I am not sure which of this actually worked, or if it was a combination, but I was able to get a negative culture after recieving 2 positive urine cultures, which my midwife said she had never seen before.  I had been using the following for 10 days when I tested. I recommend buying good quality organic, food sourced vitamins.

Each morning:

• 50 billion good quality probiotic
• Garlic Extract Capsule (5mg)
• Astragalus Capsule (800mg)
• 4000+ IU Vitamin D
• 1 tsp (500 mg) powdered whole food vitamin C (mixed in orange juice)
• 3-4 tsp cranberry concentrate (mixed in orange juice)
• 10 drops GSE (Grapefruit Seed Extract) – after 2 weeks I started doinig GSE only once/day

 Each evening:

• Repeat the morning supplements, plus
• 1 Cup Echinacea Tea*
• 1900 mg Burdock Root capsule

*Only use Echinacea for 2 weeks, then have a 2 week break, resuming on this schedule if desired.  Echinacea loses efficacy after 2 weeks.

Daily “Other”:

•  1-2 tsp Garlic Honey Elixer: 1/2 C. Honey, 1/4 C. Apple Cider Vinegar (Braggs), 1/2 BULB fresh garlic.  Puree in a blender, and store in fridge.  Have a chaser ready (I did yogurt), this stuff is stout!  There is no risk of harm to a baby from having too much garlic so take as much of this as you can handle without worry.
• Insert Vaginally 1 peeled garlic clove overnight for 2 weeks, then once/week until delivery.  Thread a sterile string through the clove and tie for easy removal in the AM  - I used unwaxed, plain, organic silk dental floss. I also cut notches in the clove for max potency, but some find this stings or burns, which I did not.
• I also inserted 1 capsule of the probiotic vaginally during the day randomly over the 2 week period.  However, be sure you don’t do this within a few days of the test as it can give a false positive result
• Vaginal flush (not douche) Apple Cider Vinegar – 1oz ACV + 4-6 OZ warm water to dilute, using a periwash bottle (I got mine from my midwife).  Once Daily for 7 Days.

I also ate a diet low in sugar and grain, and included lots of plain, organic yogurt.

In addition to this remedy, I was taking my normal vitamins – Prenatal Multi, Omega 3 fish oil, Iron, Folic Acid and Cal/Mag/Zinc. Drink plenty of purified water.

Thanks, Lindsay!

Why This Can Help

Lindsay’s recommendations are in line with what we know about bringing bacteria back into balance in the body.  Garlic is a potent anti-viral and has been known to help women test negative on GBS tests before (even though it is a bacteria, not viral).  Consuming large doses of probiotics also helps the system to overcome bad bacteria naturally by replacing it with good bacteria.

Large doses of vitamin A, C, and D are known to boost immune function strongly, which can help the body to bring itself back into balance and health naturally.

Grapefruit seed extract and other herbal supplements are potent natural antibiotics.

In addition to this list, you may choose to add milk kefir (some say this has more beneficial strains of bacteria than yogurt and actually helps to re-colonize the gut properly) and coconut oil (which is a strong anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, and anti-viral).

Have you ever used a particular remedy or program to test GBS negative?  What worked for you?

Image by dvs

I remember visiting an Amish store with my mother-in-law about four years ago.  My first baby was only a couple months old, and I was not yet into real food.  I was literally like a kid in a candy store (there was candy all around me).  I thought because it was “Amish” it was amazing and healthy and superior to regular grocery store food.  Not to mention pretty reasonably priced.  I bought up tons of stuff just because I could, and congratulated myself on getting a good deal and healthy food.

Ahem.  It doesn’t quite work that way.

Wardeh’s recent post on Amish butter brings that point home.  I’ve known for awhile now and am very careful when I make semi-annual trips to Amish country (my next one’s in just a couple weeks).  But most people are still in the same position I was four years ago — excited by the idea that something’s Amish, believing it’s superior.

It’s not just in Amish stores, or using the word “Amish” that’s a problem, though.  I was in Walmart the other week (yes, sometimes I shop there) and noticed a jug of Log Cabin-brand “all natural” maple syrup.  I was intrigued by the idea, though I didn’t have high hopes.  I thought maybe it would be a blend.  It contains no real syrup, but mostly it is brown rice syrup, plus water, brown sugar, white sugar, natural flavors, and caramel color (I double checked the label at the store yesterday, just for you).  But it’s sold in a jug that looks like the jugs that real producers use around here, and the front of the label and their website very carefully never says whether or not it’s really maple syrup.  Consumers who don’t read labels will see the shape of the container and the large “all natural” on the front and get excited that there’s finally a “better” option and buy it.  Sure, it doesn’t contain HFCS, but it’s really not a good option.

There are so many products and labels out there like this, and I hate seeing people who are trying to feed their families well fall for these.  So, let’s look at 10 deceptive food labels.

1. “Natural” or “All Natural”

This means absolutely nothing.  It means that some part of the food was originally grown or produced from actual food.  It doesn’t mean it isn’t processed.  It doesn’t mean that it is remotely natural still.  And it certainly doesn’t discuss how the food was raised (was the meat pastured, were the vegetables organic?).

2. “Cage-free”

Usually applied to eggs or chicken.  All it means is that the animals weren’t shoved into cages.  Usually this means they are in large, open chicken houses, crammed together on the floor.  It does not mean they have access to the outdoors, much less that they are fully pastured.  It is no healthier than caged chickens, and certainly not more ethical.

3. “Good Source Of _________”

Insert any vitamin or mineral.  To be labeled as a “good source of,” a product only has to contain 10% of the RDA for that nutrient.  The RDA, by the way, is the absolute minimum amount that a person needs each day to stave off serious deficiency and the resulting health problems.  The RDA is not the ‘recommended amount’ nor any sort of ‘limit.’  This claim also does not mean that the nutrient is natural (not synthetic) or bioavailable.  Ignore this claim entirely, and remember that bit about the RDA — it’s important.

4. “No artificial flavors”

It’s true that if this is on the front of the package, artificial cannot be listed in the ingredients.  However, ‘natural flavors’ can still be listed, and often is.  The difference is that artificial flavors are made in a laboratory and are intended to be an entirely unique flavor (not found in nature), while natural flavors are made in a laboratory and are intended to imitate flavors found in nature.  Either way, they’re both still made in a laboratory and are not healthy.

5. “Made with real fruit”

This product contains something that was originally fruit, usually juice, which is concentrated sugar.  It doesn’t mean that any real, whole fruit is in the product.  There is also no requirement for how much of the product must be fruit — it could be 1% and it could still be labeled that way.

6. “No MSG”

It’s true that the label cannot read “monosodium glutamate.”  However, there are a lot of other food additives that contain free glutamic acid (a form of MSG) that can still be in the food.  This includes things like autolyzed yeast extract contain MSG.  (Autolyzed, hydrolyzed, or modified are words you don’t want on your label.)

7. “Hormone-free chicken”

Lots of companies like to put “antibiotic and hormone-free” on the front of their chicken.  In tiny print on that label, it will say, “Federal regulations prohibit the use of hormones in chickens.”  This is the whole point.  If it’s chicken, no matter how it was produced, it doesn’t contain any added hormones, because federal regulations prohibit it.  The chicken isn’t any more natural or healthier because of this.

8. “Sugar-free”

This is a red flag for “There’s artificial sweetener in here!”  It may not contain actual sugar, but it has some form of sweetener — usually aspartame or sucralose.  ”No sugar added” is a better claim, but always read the label to find out what’s in it.  Even ‘no sugar added’ usually uses some form of fruit concentrate to sweeten.  It’s an improvement over GMO beet sugar or corn syrup, certainly, but you may not want it.

9. “Trans-fat free”

Federal regulations allow any product containing less than 0.5g per serving of any particular nutrient to make the claim “free of” whatever it is.  Manufacturers can play with the serving sizes, making it unusually small, in order to get the amount of trans fats per serving under the limit so they can make the claim.  But if you eat a normal amount, you may be getting a few grams of trans fats anyway.

10. “Gluten-free”

This claim is usually true.  However, popular products have been found, in some cases, to contain trace amounts of gluten.  Some are made in factories where gluten products are also made, meaning cross-contamination is possible.  Always look at the ‘allergy panel’ on the box, where it must state “Made in a facility that processes” or “Made on shared equipment with products containing” which will tell you if the product may be contaminated.  Additionally, if you’re choosing gluten-free products not because you have celiac or gluten-sensitivity, but just because you believe the product is healthier because it’s gluten-free, you might want to reconsider that.

It’s unfortunate, but these claims are used just as much — if not more — on ‘natural’ products as they are on regular products.  Many consumers know that regular products aren’t the healthiest choices (ding-dongs or Twinkies, anyone?), but when they’re buying organic snacks or even supposedly better-for-you foods, they want to feel like what they’re buying is good for them.  It’s often referred to as “green washing,” when it is applied to natural/organic products (both food and non-food items).  And it’s ultimately deceptive advertising.

Other dubious claims include:

• “Real sea salt” (if it’s pure white, it’s a lie)
• “Fat free” (and laden with chemicals)
• “Organic” (if it’s a processed food, it’s still not healthy; and if it’s produce but wasn’t grown in the US it’s probably not really organic)
• “Pesticide-free” (this basically claims there’s no residue, but it’s not regulated, so the crop can still have been grown with pesticides)
• “Pure” (which means nothing)
• “Nothing artificial” (can still include ‘natural’ preservatives and natural flavors)
• “Uncured” (applied to meats like bacon or hot dogs; it’s not cured with sodium nitrite, but instead celery juice, which is a natural source of nitrites and many argue isn’t any better)
• “Raw” (often on cheese, but it’s usually heated at some point during the process and isn’t really raw…plus it won’t say if it’s grass-fed or not, which matters)
• “Grass-fed” (means the animal, usually beef, was fed grass at some point, but was not necessarily exclusively grass-fed.  On all but the biggest CAFOs, most animals do have some access to pasture, even if it is only a small percentage of their diet)
• “No GMOs” (unless it’s certified by the GMO project, there is no way to verify this)
• “Made with whole grains” (maybe, but it doesn’t have to have much; plus, the grains weren’t properly prepared)
• “Low sodium” (we need salt in our diets, so this isn’t really a benefit)
• “Vegetarian-fed hens” (it means they weren’t fed chicken by-products, which is good, but probably also means they weren’t pastured and didn’t eat bugs and worms, which they should)
• “Grass-fed chicken” (or pork.  These animals don’t and shouldn’t live on grass alone.  This is a marketing gimmick because they know people are looking for grass-fed.)

The best rules to avoid this problem are these:

• Don’t buy anything that has a label on it in the first place
• If you do buy something with a label, make sure ALL the ingredients are recognizable food items (it should not say ‘spices,’ or ‘natural flavors’ or anything even slightly questionable)

If you follow these rules, you should never end up with something that’s terribly unhealthy.  Of course, the very best idea is to shop directly from farmers and know exactly how your food is raised, or to raise it yourself.  But, small steps.

What deceptive food labels have you run across?  Which have fooled you before?

Image by Matthew Fugel

My starter is still alive!

That’s one thing to be thankful for.  I haven’t ruined my starter yet.  But more than that, it’s becoming increasingly active.  I finally did a little actual research, and figured some things out.  Maybe you’ll be smarter than I was and take my advice without having to do it the wrong way first. I always do that…it drives my husband nuts.  He says I never take advice from anyone and I am determined to learn the hard way.

It’s true.

With my sourdough wasn’t any different.  But now I have learned exactly why I should have followed the directions in the first place.  All of these “extra” steps seemed stupid and pointless, but once I learned why they’re done, well, they seemed pretty important.  This exact thing happened when I learned to sew, too.  I ignored instructions, only to figure out once I was more experienced why I should have just done it the way I was told.  Sigh.

I digress.  Let me explain to you what I have learned now….

Why Sourdough Works

I watched this neat video at GNOWFGLINS explaining why sourdough works and what happens.  Go watch it yourself — it’s worth it.  But to summarize, wheat has naturally occurring bacteria and yeasts, and there’s lots in the air too.  The flour gets mixed with water and the bacteria and yeasts begin to eat the gluten and other parts of the flour, producing carbon dioxide and rising the dough.  The organisms double rapidly, and your goal is to create a healthy colony of organisms.  Regular feedings provide new “stuff” for the organisms to eat.

So, remember when I learned my lesson about stirring in your hooch?  I was pouring off a lot my “good” bacteria and yeasts in a brand new starter, which ruined it.

I have also read directions that say to pour off half the starter and transfer it to a new jar each time you feed it.  I ignored this because, really, why would you waste starter like that?

Ahem, I found out why.

When the starter is brand new, the organisms aren’t very concentrated (even though they multiply rapidly).  They aren’t strong enough to rise a large volume of starter — which is what you will get if you just keep feeding it and don’t dump any out.  It’s important, at least in the early days (up to two weeks, according to Wardeh) to remove half the starter and keep only a small volume.  Once the starter is very active — defined as doubling its volume in 12 hours or less after each feeding — then you can start using it regularly and not dumping any.  An established starter does not need to be dumped at feedings, but a new one does.

As for changing to a new jar, I have found that it is easier to track how well the dough was rising if the jar was clean.  If I fed the starter at night, I would usually miss the rising action and see just little bubbles throughout in the morning, indicating that it had risen.  In a clean jar, there would be a little line around the area where the starter had risen to.  This way, I could tell if it was really rising high enough.  It’s not necessary, but it’s easier.  The jars are also easier to clean if they don’t have crusted starter all around the sides.

Using the Starter

I have successfully used the starter to make sourdough pancakes (which, sadly, I did not like — only Daniel did, but he loves all things sour) and English muffins.  We enjoyed the muffins but found them a little gummy.  Wardeh said I needed to add a bit more flour and cook them a little longer, and I’m sure a more active starter would have helped matters too.  Once I get the hang of it, the English muffins will probably become a regular breakfast option around here, paired with some bacon and a smoothie.

I plan to keep attempting these little projects for a few more weeks until my starter is several weeks old and very active.  Then I really want to try these sourdough bagels that Cheeseslave posted.  And once my starter’s really active, I plan to try a boule again, using Wardeh’s recipe.

I’m glad I’ve learned all I have, and that I’m getting my starter going well, so that I can include well-prepared grains in my home!

Other Fermentation Projects

I’m making yogurt again, milk kefir, and even got some water kefir going now!  Definitely fermenting more.  I found this neat basic tutorial on fermenting vegetables, and it’s almost enough to inspire me to try fermenting some of those soon too.  Maybe.  haha.

How’s your sourdough going?  Have you baked anything good yet?

The winner of Mom Essentials: Doctoring is:

Jennifer (homekeeper31@…)

Congratulations!

If you would like to buy the book, it is on sale now for $9!

I’ll be honest: I have never really tried guacamole.  Okay, so why am I posting a recipe for it?  Most everyone around me likes it, so I experiment with it (as I do with bananas, which I also don’t like).  I have watched many people make it and have studied what they seem to like best.  And although I’m not eager for the avocados, I love most of the other flavors.  I figured I could give it a shot.

Early tests on my 2-year-old were amusing to watch.  First he dipped a chip in like he wasn’t so sure and took a tiny bite.  Pretty soon he was scooping up huge amounts to eat.  He loved it.  So, I thought some of you might, too.

Ingredients:

• 1 avocado, ripe
• 1 – 2 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1/4 c. onion, diced
• 1/4 c. tomato, diced
• 1 tbsp. cilantro, chopped
• 1/4 tsp. cumin
• 1/2 tsp. sea salt
• 1/2 tsp. chili powder
• Juice of 1/2 lime

Directions:

First, cut your avocado in half.

Remove the seed, and scoop out all the goodness.  Put it into a bowl and mash it a little.

Mince your garlic, then add it to the bowl.

Chop your onion and add that too.

Add your cilantro, then squeeze your lime juice in.

Chop your tomato and add that too, along with sea salt.  Stir it all together.

That’s it.  You’re done!  Serve with corn chips or fresh veggies as desired.

What’s your favorite way to enjoy guacamole?

Image by USACE Europe District

My new series on vaccination wouldn’t be complete without this post.  While I strongly believe, personally, that vaccination isn’t the answer, I more strongly believe in making an informed choice.  I don’t think that choosing to vaccinate, or not to vaccinate, is something one should take lightly.  No — it’s important to do research and to know that you feel 100% confident in the decision you are making.

With that said, I need to share some “bad reasons” to choose not to vaccinate.  Even if these aren’t you major reasons for making this decision, please pay attention.  If you say these in an argument with a pro-vaccinator (and I advise you not to even get into that argument to begin with, but it happens), you will lose.  Don’t say them.  They’re weak and some of them are actually false.  I see them being mentioned all the time, though, so I want to address that.

Bad Reasons Not to Vaccinate

1) Those diseases aren’t around anymore, so we don’t need to bother.

It’s true that diseases like measles are not common anymore.  But children do still get them, as any pro-vax person would be quick to point out.  If you don’t vaccinate your child, you need to understand that your child may, in fact, catch the measles — or mumps, or pertussis.  It can happen.  And you need to be willing to accept that risk, and know how to mitigate both the risk of infection, and the risk of complications.  I don’t believe that most of these illnesses are really terrible in most cases, and I know different ways to boost my kids’ immune system and potentially treat the illnesses, should they occur.  It’s blase and foolish to think that your kid simply won’t get sick because it’s not common.

2) Everyone else vaccinates, so I don’t need to.

They’ll smack you right in the face with herd immunity and selfishness.  Which are two good responses to that reason (though none of it is particularly compelling).  Your decision to vaccinate or not should be based on what you feel will help your child be the healthiest as an individual, not what the rest of society is or isn’t doing.  Thinking that herd immunity is real and that you will ride on the backs of others who are vaccinated is very foolish, indeed.  (We’ll talk more about herd immunity and why it’s not all it’s cracked up to be soon.)

3) Those shots will give you autism.

No, they likely won’t.  If your child is in fragile health — autoimmune disease, several allergies, frequently ill — yes, the shots could be the tipping point.  If your child is in generally good health, it’s unlikely that vaccines will cause obvious and immediate damage.  You should be aware that for the fragile, autism is a possibility, but there are so many confounding factors (pesticides, ultrasound in utero, pollution, BPA, etc.) that we can’t solely blame vaccines for it (although I believe they do play a role).

4) My friend/neighbor/cousin’s kid got a shot and was permanently damaged/killed.

That’s really tragic.  But you probably don’t know the whole story — was it just the vaccine, or were there antibiotics, allergies, autoimmune, etc. involved too?  Relying on “that one story” is a scare tactic, an emotional response, plain and simple.  If that’s the story that motivates you to begin your research, great!  If that’s the story that makes the final decision for you, not so great.

5) Those shots are eugenics/a conspiracy by the government to hurt and kill us all!

Okay, we’re all accused of being conspiracy theorists no matter what, since we’re stepping outside the mainstream.  Don’t make it worse by saying alarmist things.  I believe the truth is that the doctors and researchers are completely fascinated with what science can do, with the possibility that different types of chemicals can change how our bodies react to environmental stimuli (vaccines prevent illness, antibiotics kill it, hormones prevent pregnancy, etc.).  They are searching for ways that they can improve our lives by helping us to avoid these things that are “annoying” or potentially harmful to us.  The problem is, they are so interested in this possibility that they don’t fully consider the unintended ramifications of messing with nature.  These don’t become apparent sometimes for months or years.  They’re also — like many on the anti-vax side — so wrapped up in their worldview that they automatically dismiss information that doesn’t support their position, and they trumpet research that does.  It’s called confirmation bias and we all do it.  They mean well, and I don’t think it’s ultimately a conspiracy.  I do believe that because they think it is such a good idea, that they let the government and the pharmaceutical companies get a little carried away in their recommendations.

6) But Jenny McCarthy said…!

…or any other celebrity or single person.  Don’t make a decision so important because your friend, neighbor, mom, or even doctor told you to.  Read for yourself, come to your own conclusion.

7) I don’t know what to do…so I’ll do nothing.

This is an okay place temporarily, while you do some research and make your final decision.  It’s better to wait than to start and wish you hadn’t.  However, there is a lot of responsibility that goes along with not vaccinating (being able to recognize symptoms of disease, knowing how to treat it, knowing how to boost your child’s immunity naturally through diet and alternative medicine, etc.) and if you are just in a place of “I don’t know,” you’re not going to proactively take those precautions, and you’re leaving your child vulnerable. It is so, so important to protect your child’s health through nutrition.

I can’t afford it.

Cost should never be the decision-making factor in any health or safety issue.  Would you skip buying your child a car seat because you can’t afford it?  Don’t skip vaccines for that reason, either.  Cost is going to come into play in any decision that you make, because you will still need to take your child to a medical professional, and you will need to get vitamins or medicine at some point.  Not to mention the cost of healthy food!  Any option is going to cost you — so don’t let that be a reason either way.

9) I don’t want to see my baby cry/in pain.

Nobody does.  But sometimes we have to do things that will cause them pain, for their own good.  I once had to hold my daughter down (she was about 18 months at the time) to get blood drawn for a test.  That test was critical for us in figuring out what issues she had, and solving them with GAPS.  But, I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t gotten that blood draw.  She screamed, she cried, and she got over it.  The decision you make must be for your child’s health and well-being, not with a mind towards momentary pain and suffering.

10) Those shots are just useless/water/have no effect.

Those shots are full of heavy metals (aluminum), preservatives, and biologic material.  They’re going to do something.  Whether or not they have the intended effect, or if they do it without causing more problems than they save, is the issue.  I believe vaccines are ultimately ineffective, but I don’t think dismissing them out-of-hand as “cause no effect” is smart.  It’s more important to look at how they actually work, what they actually do in the body.  On a related note, in an argument, it’s not smart to say “it was just nutrition and sanitation” without any follow-up.  I believe this is true.  But there’s a lot more to it than that (i.e. serious complications dropped off, but cases often did not — it’s a critical point).

That’s a summary of what not to say!

What you should gather from this isn’t that vaccination is a great idea.  That’s not my intention.  What you should gather is that vaccination is a complicated decision, and there are no simple answers and no simple reasons.  It’s a complicated look at diseases, risk/benefits of each situation, how the immune system functions, etc.  We’ll be talking more about those issues soon!

What is the worst reason not to vaccinate that you’ve heard?

Image by Tulane Public Relations

I grew up homeschooled in the early days of the homeschooling movement, the days when some states considered homeschooling a form of child abuse. In the late eighties when I was in first grade, a caseworker came to observe our school day.  We sat at the kitchen table, put pen to paper, and tried our best to look “normal.” Through the years I was aware of people’s opinion and expectations about homeschoolers. I heard lots of “I couldn’t spend that much time with my child/parent” and “What about prom?” comments. There were a lot of negative reactions that never made sense to me. Now, as a mom who is preparing to homeschool, I see some of the same reactions surfacing again. I still believe in homeschooling and though I would not criticize anyone for making a different choice, I do have valid reasons for wanting to keep my children at home. And this is just one.

The State of Public Education

After college, I received my teaching certification. I have a kind of a love/hate relationship with that fact. People always wanted to know if my mom had a teaching degree when she was homeschooling us. Some were appalled to hear that she actually had only one year of college. They thought she wasn’t qualified to teach her own children. So while I am glad for the experiences, I don’t like that it somehow validates myself in some people’s eyes as “qualified.” (After a few decades, a PhD, a job as professor of physical science and head of her department maybe she has proven she was capable all along — So proud of you, Mom!)

But what my experiences did teach me is this: there may be positives and negatives but the current system is deeply flawed. There are theories and best practices and utopian ideas, but in the day-to-day actual implementation so much of it fails. The broken system may still work for a few — those in decent attendance areas or with parents who are involved, supportive, and vocal. And if you are a parent who is choosing public school (or if you aren’t in a place to choose), those things are extremely important. Regardless of your choice of schooling, you are your child’s advocate and the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Find out your rights, especially if your child has special needs or if they are recommended for special education. You have legal rights and the school has legal obligations.

I spent two years as a special education teacher and some of the things I heard and saw were distressing. Classroom teachers were coerced into teaching to the low-middle, being told by name which students must be reached in order to pass the state tests. Students were grouped into levels: these will not pass the test, these might pass if you focus all your attention on them, these will pass but just barely, and the last group will pass by a larger margin. The only students “worth” the teachers’ time are the ones who will make the teachers’ pass rates (and therefore the school’s rating) higher — those in the second group, the “bubble students.” These children are given before and after school tutoring, daily testing drills, and small group time with the teacher at each class period. They are coached on test taking strategies and spend more time learning how to beat the test than the actual content or skill being tested. They are singled out as “slow” by students and teachers alike.

But worse than that, each teacher can afford a few “fails.” Those students are identified early in the year by name — they are the “will not pass no matter how hard you try — so don’t waste your time trying” group. These students are effectively ignored in the day-to-day instruction so as not to slow the rest of the class. They are not even offered tutoring groups once they have been revealed as incapable based on benchmark test results. Some of them are special education students, some of them are not; all are viewed as hopeless.

The last two groups are the ones who will pass the test, either by a small or large margin. They are given busywork; something that keeps the “good ones” occupied but will bore the “bad ones” to tears, causing a constant cycle of disciplinary problems. The teachers are so focused on the small group of “bubble students” that the rest fall by the wayside.

Now, this may sound like a worst-case scenario, and it probably is even though I saw it over and over. There are some schools where the percentage of students passing each year is enough that the administration is not worried about bubble students. But the driving force is still there — everyone is supposed to fit into a box. The numbers matter more than the individual. The desired outcome is for the largest percentage of students meet the lowest standard. Not that each child has the best chance possible, or each makes the most progress themselves, but that which benefits the school as a whole is done.

Success stories can come out of the schools, and good parents are usually behind them, along with an intrinsic desire to learn or to achieve in an academic setting. There are some teachers still inspiring students like the movies would have us believe. But the system is wearing them down steadily. You can fight for your child’s rights to a free and appropriate public education, but if you find yourself constantly struggling against the current it might be better to get out of the stream and walk the banks.

The Difference of Homeschooling

In special education there is a document known as an IEP, or individualized education plan. It is a map of where a student currently is in regards to abilities and deficits, and where that student is hoped to be in twelve months time. There are achievable goals for each area of growth. Based on this document, a child’s entire educational program is built to facilitate the path from here to there. If prepared and used properly it is one of the only parts of public schooling that I find to be helpful at the individual level. But there are still limitations due to the framework of the school setting. Homeschooling has the ability to function as the ultimate in individualized education.

Homeschooling is not about having a teaching credential; it is about finding what works best for your child. You know where your child is now and you know where they are headed. What remains is designing a path for them to reach their destination. That path may change by the child, the subject, the year, even the minute at times. And that, my friends is individualized. The true beauty of homeschooling is that you can change your approach at any given moment. Incorporate your students’ personalities and interests. They are your best friends if understood and encouraged properly, your worst enemies if stifled, belittled, or ignored. Take your cues from each child and use whatever tools or opportunities you have at your disposal.

In homeschooling there are no “bubble” students, there are subjects that take a little extra effort or creative instruction. There are no “hopeless” students, just children whose talents and capabilities may range far outside the realm of academic achievement testing. There are no “good” or “bad” kids, there are kids with plenty of time for all types of creative outlets.

Obviously homeschooling is not a solution for everyone, and I don’t think it should be an excuse not to be involved in fixing the education system. It needs to be fixed and I fear for the future of our nation if it does not happen soon. For the time being, however, I feel the only future I can effectively change with my own hands is the future of my children. And that is a decent place to start.

How do you feel about the current educational system?  Where do or will your children go to school?

Image by NDuran

These days, a lot of children suffer from asthma, allergies, or frequent colds or sinus infections.  I can barely scroll through Facebook each day without seeing that someone’s child has one of these issues.  The usual treatment for these issues is the use of corticosteroids, which some children end up using quite frequently, depending on their situation.

This scares me, frankly.

Steroids are serious drugs with serious side effects and their use should be very carefully considered, the benefits and risks carefully weighed.  A lot of parents aren’t fully aware of the potential side effects — and they also don’t know about other alternatives.  I believe that drugs can have their place, but generally we are too cavalier in their use.  I also believe that if parents were aware of safer, effective alternatives, that they would turn to those first when possible.

Let’s explore this!

What Are Asthma and Allergies?

Both asthma and allergies are autoimmune conditions, meaning that the body is attacking itself by overreacting to some outside stimulus.  In asthma, different “triggers” cause the airways to constrict (due to inflammation), making breathing difficult.  People who experience this may cough, wheeze, or gasp for air.  Allergies can trigger an asthma attack, as can cold air, exercise, or any other sort of “stress” on the lungs.

The normal treatment for allergies is to avoid whatever the allergen is, and to take antihistamine drugs.

The normal treatment for asthma is corticosteroids, like albuterol, used in inhalers.  This is the most effective way to use the drug, and allows the lowest use of the drug (compared to older methods, like injections and oral prescriptions, which required much higher doses since the drug didn’t get directly to the lungs).  Most people use a “rescue” inhaler if they are struggling to breathe, but also are prescribed one or two doses per day as “maintenance.”

There is a link between vaccination and asthma.  Up to 20% of children who are vaccinated develop asthma these days, while very few children who are not vaccinated develop asthma.  In this study, 18% of vaccinated children had asthma, while just over 2% of unvaccinated children did.  It is theorized that the DTaP vaccine is responsible for this, but also that the toxic load from vaccines in general “sensitizes” the immune system.  (If this is true, it can be addressed with the GAPS diet, which I mention later.)  In that second study, 23% of vaccinated children had allergies, compared to 10.5% of unvaccinated (more than double).

Genetics plays a role, too — children born to parents with asthma have a 6-fold increase in the risk of developing it themselves.  This increases even further if both parents have asthma.

Poor diet and the stress this creates within the body has been linked to asthma, as well.  Asthma is rare in isolated, non-Western cultures, but rates rise as soon as they are exposed to Western foods.  (Industrial foods are not ever healthy for you!)

What are Steroids?  Why are They Used?

Corticosteroids are a class of drugs that are used to treat inflammation.  The body produces its own steroid hormones to heal and combat inflammation, but sometimes it doesn’t produce enough or do it quickly enough, and so steroid drugs are prescribed.  This is what is in inhalers, or what is used through nebulizers in the case of persistent cough or difficulty breathing.  Albuterol is the most commonly prescribed drug, although there are others.

The list of side effects for these steroids is long:

• Dizziness
• Headache
• Nausea
• Nervousness
• Trouble sleeping
• Sore/dry throat
• Sinus inflammation
• Vomiting
• Chest pain
• Ear pain
• Fast or irregular heartbeat
• Increased difficulty breathing
• Hoarseness
• Wheezing
• Hyperactivity
• Muscle cramps
• Delayed/stunted growth
• Low blood pressure
• Low potassium levels
• High blood sugar
• Auditory hallucinations (at high doses)
• “Withdrawal” spasms after use
• Yeast infections
• Osteoporosis

Most of these are not very common, but the less severe side effects (like dizziness, headache, sore throat) are more common.  In clinical trials, some side effects were experienced by up to 25% of individuals, with tremors and nervousness topping the list.  Oral and nebulizer use were associated with more side effects than inhaler use.  ”Tolerance” to these side effects sometimes developed (which means the patient no longer feels bad, but damage is still being caused to the body).

Albuterol has also been shown to increase the likelihood of asthma attacks by 30%, according to one source.

It is not unusual for people to experience trouble breathing after use, because the synthetic corticosteroid replaces the body’s natural steroids and reduces production, meaning levels are lower (too low) for awhile, leading to increased trouble breathing.

Treating Asthma and Allergies Naturally

All of this is pretty serious stuff.  The choice to treat asthma with a steroid prescription should be a serious one, even though it is currently considered “the gold standard” in modern medicine.

The goal in treating asthma needs to be addressing the root causes, which are not completely known.  Some believe that poor gut flora plays a role (the gut flora is crucial for a strong immune system, and weak immune systems can allow the body to become sensitized to the environment, leading to allergies, asthma, and other autoimmune conditions).  Others believe that weak adrenals play a role.  Low levels of vitamin D have been shown to play a role.  Natural treatment starts with addressing these areas.

There is some research now to show that both of these conditions, especially asthma, would be helped by increased vitamin D levels.  This makes sense, because vitamin D is a pre-hormone, which helps the body to make and use hormones properly.  In asthma, the adrenal glands don’t function properly, and they don’t make enough corticosteroid hormone naturally to keep inflammation at bay in the presence of the “triggers.”  With allergies, vitamin D does a similar thing — calms the inflammation in the body.  Vitamin D can also prevent the hardening of the bronchials in the lungs, too, preventing worsening asthma.

Most people are now deficient in vitamin D, which is unfortunate because it plays such a huge role in the body.  Taking high doses of fermented cod liver oil (up to 2 tbsp. per day, depending on one’s vitamin D levels; 2 tbsp. will provide about 6000 IU of vitamin D) can raise a person’s vitamin D levels.

Vitamin A, a nutrient that has been seriously vilified in our culture, is also a primary player in the immune system.  Low vitamin A levels are also associated with increased asthma risks and more frequent attacks.  Fermented cod liver oil also supplies a large dose of well-absorbed vitamin A, which can decrease the amount of attacks by 50% or more.

B vitamins are also critical.  Deficiencies in certain B vitamins (including B6, B9 — folate, B12, and B3) can increase the risk of asthma up to 4 times.  Try an herbal multivitamin to increase your B vitamin intake.

Omega-3 fatty acids are important, as well.  Adding fish oil to your diet can increase these levels, as well as consuming fatty fish on a regular basis.  Proper nutrition is absolutely key, as deficiencies in all of these nutrients sharply increase both the risk of developing asthma, and of asthma becoming more severe!

Optimal adrenal function can be addressed by making sure you are not deficient in magnesium or potassium.  Certain herbs, like nettle, milk thistle, ashwagandha, and others that are considered “adaptogenic” can help to boost adrenal function.  Consider drinking a homemade electrolyte drink, using potassium chloride (“diet” salt) in place of sodium chloride.

Addressing gut health is not an easy matter.  If one does not have ideal gut health, then the best solution is the GAPS diet.  We have done this on and off for two years, and it is not a simple, quick solution at all.  It requires cutting all grains, sugars, and dairy completely for several months, and focusing on fat, meat, bone broth, and fermented foods in order to heal and seal the “holes” in the gut.  It is a huge lifestyle shift for many, but it can permanently alleviate allergies and asthma (as well as autism, MS, and other autoimmune conditions).

It is also important to get rid of any “junk” in the diet and the environment.  Switch to more natural cleaning products (like vinegar and baking soda), natural laundry detergent (like soap nuts), and natural personal care products.  Don’t eat fast food or buy any food in a package or with a label.

Do not use over-the-counter or prescription medications unless absolutely necessary.  Common pain killers like ibuprofen and acetaminophen (Tylenol) increase the likelihood of asthma attacks.  Antibiotics damage the gut, and also increase the likelihood.

For short-term fixes with asthma (helping symptoms immediately), try these remedies:

• Lobelia tincture (just a few drops)
• Mullein tea — inhale the steam
• Slippery elm + fenugreek tea (helps to loosen and eliminate mucus)
• Raw honey (to calm coughs)

Do you or a family member suffer from asthma or allergies?  How do you help?

My very first reaction to this was, “Good for him.  He’s taking a stand and showing her she can’t get away with it.  Kids need more discipline.”  This is the biggest reaction I’ve seen on comment threads all over the place — most people think the girl (who is never seen and never speaks for herself, other than her initial letter) is a spoiled brat, and they side with the dad.

The more I watched, and the more I thought, though, the more disturbed I was by the whole thing.  Disturbed enough to post on it, something I don’t usually do.

Please be aware, through this post, that I’m not intending to criticize this family.  Their family dynamics are their business, and his Facebook page shows that after this video went crazy, he and his daughter sat down and watched it together and had a long, private talk about the whole thing.  I think they are handling the aftermath just fine.  Not to mention that I’m not part of the situation.

Rather, this is intended to speak to everyone who thinks that the dad’s actions were in some way heroic and that getting tough with children in this way is the most appropriate way to handle such problems.  It was the commenters that ultimately disturbed me more than the original situation itself (although both did).

The Video: What Wasn’t Told

The video’s fairly straightforward: girl disrespects family publicly, father gets her back by responding publicly and shooting the laptop she used to disrespect him in the first place.  But it left me with so many additional thoughts and questions:

1. What is going on in this parent-child relationship that she felt so angry and unappreciated in the first place?
2. The father seems to need to be “right.”  Her feelings that drove her to this are unimportant; all that matters is that she was rude.
3. Two wrongs somehow make a right.
4. The father-daughter relationship contains two people…and it’s quite adversarial.
5. Destroying the laptop was a temper tantrum that made the father feel better.
6. The daughter was just recently grounded for three months for doing something similar, but clearly “it didn’t work” since she did it again (i.e. the grounding didn’t actually solve any problems….)

That first point is what was going through my head the whole time.  Several people have said, “This doesn’t reflect on them; she’s a teen and she’ll do as she pleases.”  I’m sorry, but her letter wasn’t about some independently poor choice she made, like taking drugs.  It was about the parent-child relationship and how angry she is with her parents.  That makes it about the parents.  She hates the relationship they have, clearly, which obviously reflects on them.

The fact that grounding her for three months and removing all her privileges “didn’t work” leads people to believe that she needs more punishment, to “get it through her head.”  Hasn’t anyone heard that the definition of ‘insanity’ is “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?”  Punishing her further is only going to make her angrier and drive her away.  It is human nature to be angry and fight back, not to be submissive and respond to this sort of bullying with “Oh, I see my mistake now, sure, I’ll turn it all around.”

How would people have felt if, say, a wife had posted a nasty letter about her husband on Facebook, and his response had been to read it, chew her out, and take her laptop and shoot it?  I don’t think people would have been very supportive of the husband, and I can imagine the comments would have been along the lines of “this belongs in a marriage counselor’s office, as this relationship is clearly in trouble.”  But it’s just fine for a parent-child relationship?

We don’t have any idea what this girl is really like.  All we know is one letter she wrote in anger and posted in public.  Have none of the rest of us ever done something like this?  We don’t know what she is like day-to-day.  We don’t know if she is grateful or ungrateful or if she works hard or doesn’t.  She never got a chance to speak for herself, outside of this one unfortunate letter.  Yet we judge her, harshly.  (No — the letter wasn’t excusable and definitely did require a reaction.  But there’s just so much more to this story than we actually know.)

 The Underlying Lesson

The underlying lesson I get from all of this — the video, the people commenting on it, and even messages I got that line up with this at random times — is that parents are always right, and children ought to fall in line.  A parent is right because he or she says so, ultimately.  Isn’t “because I said so” really “Because that’s how I feel right now and I do/don’t want to do this?”  It’s about a parent’s feelings and whims rather than what may be “best” in the situation.  I say it too — because I’m human.  Does that make it right, though?

No.

Parents are not always right.  And I’m so tired of this adversarial relationship that the entire world has with children.  We do not teach someone respect by “beating it into them.”  We teach it by modeling.  It is possible to train children and have expectations for them without lashing out in anger and shaming them, or stooping to their level.  If my 4-year-old snaps at me or throws a fit, should I snap back or throw a fit too?  Would the proper reaction be to stand in the middle of the room and scream, “I don’t like this and you had better stop it right now!  I’m the mom and I said NO!  Now you stop it right now because you are making me so angry I can’t stand it!  SHUT UP!”  …I don’t think anyone thinks that’s ideal.  At least I hope not, because it’s not particularly mature.

Everyone thinks that children are so bad these days.  And I don’t.  You know what?  I think it’s the parents who are bad.  I think the parents are lazy, and they are rude.  I think they expect children to cater to them.  I think they expect children not to have feelings and needs, but to simply behave.  I think they are easily frustrated by their children.  I think they medicate behavior that doesn’t fit their ideal.  And I think they can see immaturity and fault easily in their children, but not in themselves.

You may be the problem if:

• …your children are behaving wildly and your immediate thought/reaction is “Why can’t they ever just stop?!  They love to make me miserable.”
• …your children are whiny and you say, “Stop that already!  I don’t want to hear it.”
• …your children are acting out and you can’t think of enough punishments to stop the behavior.
• …your child is often sassy to you, and you respond by yelling ‘sassy’ things back and punishing.
• …your child hits you and you immediately smack him back.
• …your child throws something at you, so you throw something back.
• …your child has an accident (bathroom, spilling something, whatever) and you spend 10 minutes berating the child to be more careful.
• …your child does something wrong, and you bring it up frequently and use it to shame the child into “being good.”
• …your child behaves badly in a store (even though you did not expressly lay out expectations) and you respond by punishing because “they should have known.”

Yes, we all do these things sometimes.  We are human and we can’t get away from that.  We will have a bad day, be in a bad mood, say and do things we shouldn’t.  What matters is that we recognize that these are not the most appropriate responses and strive to do a better job next time.  The problem lies when a parent thinks that these are appropriate responses and intends to parent this way.

Instead, in the above situations, parents should strive to:

• …realize the children have pent-up physical energy, and provide them with a more appropriate outlet (and explain this to them and expect them to wait until they can get to the more appropriate location, if they are old enough)
• …realize the children may be tired, hungry, ill, and look to solve the underlying cause.
• …realize the children are desperate for your attention or having some physical/mental issue and look to solve the underlying problem.
• …realize your child is only speaking to you the same way you speak to him/her.
• …realize your child can’t possibly take you seriously when you just did the thing you said not to do.
• …realize that accidents happen — to us, too — and don’t require any punishment, just a simple “please clean up.”
• …realize that shaming people makes them angry and hurt and does not create a positive behavior change. (If an adult did this to another adult — husband/wife, boss/employee — we would call this “verbal abuse.”)
• …realize that unless your child is psychic, no, they do not know your expectations unless you told them.  And even then, young children have little self-control.

It’s our goal as parents to treat our children respectfully (not to be their friend, but to speak to them gently).  It’s our goal to train them in love.  It’s our job to meet their needs, even if it inconvenient for us to do so.  It’s our job to always look at their underlying behavior and help them when they are crying out for it.

I just cannot get behind the idea that we ought to “make” children fall in line, and that if we need to be extreme to do it, that’s okay.  Somehow, it’s entirely inappropriate for a child to “act out” to get a parent’s attention; but it is okay for us to act out to get our child’s attention?  I am not okay with that double standard at all.  It’s fine to be harsh on a child…but not for a child to be rude to a parent.

Families have to live together.  And they have to deal with a wide variety of attitudes, thoughts, feelings, moods, and other things that may or may not mesh.  Children have as much right to their own thoughts, feelings, and bad days as the rest of us do.  We set firm, reasonable guidelines for them and we do so because it is in their best interests.  But we don’t need to legislate or punish their feelings!

As an example, it is perfectly okay for a child to say, “I’m mad!  That makes me so angry when you do that!”  The child has a right to feel that way and express his anger in this manner.  The child does not, however, have the right to follow that up by smacking you or another person, and doing so would require redirection to hit a pillow or go to a safe space until the temper is calm.  (I’m trying to get the point across that allowing a child to feel what he feels and be respectful does not mean that you are not parenting him.  You are.  You still make the rules and you still expect the child to follow them.  You simply allow space for the child to express his feelings and preferences along the way, and you don’t punish as a means to get obedience.  Discipline, yes; punish, no.)

Watching that video and seeing the reaction really shook me, because I don’t ever want to find myself in that position.  I don’t want to get to the teen years and realize that my children feel so angry with me and the way that I treat them that they write a nasty, angry letter about it and post it to the internet for everyone but me to see.  I’d be hurt that my child didn’t come to me first and share his or her feelings, so that we could work on it together.  I’d be embarrassed that I had been such a poor parent that my child felt overworked and abused.

And no, I don’t think she was necessarily overworked — I don’t know.  I believe in hard work and we teach our children that it’s not okay to be lazy.  I will call out lazy behavior when I see it — but I don’t tell the kids that they are lazy, I tell them a particular behavior or attitude is lazy.  I stay after them to clean up their bedrooms and their playroom, multiple times a day if we need to.  I talk to them about being respectful and caring for their things.  I let them earn money for doing chores (which will change as they age to “extra” chores).  I don’t buy them everything they want, and when they break things, I don’t replace them.  Breaking things comes with the consequence that you no longer have that thing.  I’m saying all this so that no one thinks that I believe the girl ought to get away with this, or have the right to own all of the things she wants at her parents’ expense.  It doesn’t work that way, either.

Everyone feels a sense of entitlement.  Don’t we, as adults, feel entitled to have nice things?  Once my son threw my (expensive, new-to-me, DSLR) camera down the stairs.  I freaked out.  I felt entitled to have that nice camera and not to have it broken.  But, I’d left it on a table he could easily reach, so wasn’t that really my fault?  He is only 2.  And yes, even though I bought it with my own money, that I had earned by working…I still left that camera where he could reach it.  I didn’t treat it perfectly just because I had earned it.  The idea that children will learn the value of hard work and care for an item perfectly because they paid for it is simply false.  We make mistakes — we don’t think.  My camera was on a low table, but it was in my bedroom.  I didn’t think my kids would go in there.  But, as they were getting a toy from their bedrooms, they saw the camera in my room and grabbed it, which I knew was a remote possibility when I left my door open.  I wasn’t reckless, but I didn’t care for it “perfectly,” either.

My kids often say that if they lose or break things, we’ll just buy another one, or someone will fix it for them.  We have never done things this way.  We have taken things away when they have treated them disrespectfully, we have refused to replace items they have broken.  I don’t think we have even once repaired or replaced something that was destroyed willfully.  They still think this way.

Because we all do.

When my son got into my bag of groceries once and spilled my cocoa powder everywhere, I felt angry that he had wasted it and made such a mess, and I felt like I was entitled to it, and someone ought to replace it for me.  That someone “owed” me because it was mine, and someone other than myself had ruined it.  I know it doesn’t work that way.  But I still felt it.  I think children feel the same way too.

The only way to stop “entitlement” is to slowly, patiently teach them that we must work for what we have, and to be an example of that.  When it is our fault, directly or indirectly, that something was ruined, we take responsibility for it.  But we don’t.

What happens if you’re in the kitchen and your child is talking to you a lot, and you lose your concentration and spill something?  Do you blame the child for distracting you?  …I bet, at least your head, you do.  It’s human nature not to want to accept the blame for things.

Our biggest problem is that we see the worst case scenarios on TV all the time: the children whose parents really did give in to their every whim as they were growing up, who truly are “spoiled” and simply do expect everything to be given to them, without regard for cost or need.  I do not believe most children are like this.  I believe most simply wish it were possible to have everything, yet understand it does not really work this way.

A Middle Ground

I believe a better reaction to her letter would have been to remove her Facebook account and her laptop privileges, then talk to her about what’s going on.  Listen to her and find out why she felt overworked and disrespected, and possibly come up with a plan to help her feel better about the chores she has to do.  If she is really pouring their coffee everyday, they ought to thank her each time she hands them a cup.  Little things like this.  As the parent, I may have chosen to write my own, private letter explaining how her initial letter made me feel, so that she could read each word and realize the hurt she had caused.

And then I would have asked for a written apology letter, and posted that to Facebook for the world to see.  It would have accomplished the same goal — to show that the girl would not “get away with it” — without throwing a temper tantrum.  Not to mention that the conversation and the act of writing the letter would show her just how disrespectful she’d been, and give her a chance to honestly apologize for it.  Her behavior needed to be addressed, there’s no denying that.

If she did this to a boss, she’d get fired.  But her boss would not publicly humiliate her, and if he did, she’d be able to sue.  That’s not how the world works.

Yes…you can tell by the length of this post that I have a lot to say about it.  It really struck a chord in me because I am still struggling to treat my children in a more positive manner, and I could see myself ending up in that position in 10 or 15 years if I don’t get a handle on my temper and my attitude right now.  It was a wake-up call to me that I don’t want to be that parent.

Ultimately it’s up to everyone how to parent their own child.  But please do so thoughtfully.  Choose something because you believe it to be right, and not because you are angry and reacting to how parenting or a child makes you feel.  Love the disrespect out of the child.  I’ll let you know how it went in about 14 years.

What do you think about this whole situation?

Price drop...$9.95!

I have lots and lots of awesome colleagues in the blogging world.

And these awesome colleagues are constantly working on awesome projects.  There are so many of them that as much as I would love to do an individual review for each blogger and each project, I simply cannot.  Almost every post would be a review of some awesome new thing that some awesome new blogger has done!

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to tell all of you about them.  I think my readers will love to hear about many of the new things that are out there right now.  So today I’m going to do one big post to give you all the best news from the blogging world.

Keeper of the Home

In mid-January, Stephanie of Keeper of the Home released a brand new ebook (her third), called Plan It, Don’t Panic, which is a complete meal-planning guide.  If you don’t know where to start with meal planning, or just need some new ideas, this is a great book to look at.  Stephanie also walks you through budget-friendly ideas and includes some ways to save on groceries through meal planning.  She also includes tips and hints for what happens if you don’t forget to stick to the plan.  Stephanie has two other books as well: Real Food on a Real Budget and Healthy Homemaking.

Kitchen Stewardship

Katie from Kitchen Stewardship just re-released her most popular ebook: Healthy Snacks To Go, with several new recipes (now over 40).  One of the new featured recipe is several flavors of roasted chick peas!  One of the “old” classics is the Power Bars, which are like homemade Larabars — and she’s got 14 varieties.  Katie also has the Family Camping Handbook, The Everything Beans Book, and Smart Sweets.

Stacy Makes Cents

You may recognize Stacy’s name since she’s a contributor here (or from her own awesome blog).  Stacy’s husband, Barry, is a financial counselor, and he just wrote a book called From Debtor to Better, all about how to get out of debt.  Barry’s helped many families with his plan, and their family is also debt-free!  So he knows what he’s talking about.  I wrote the foreword for the book, so I’m very familiar with the material.  In addition to information, Barry includes several worksheets so that you can get started immediately on making a plan for a better, debt-free life.

GNOWFGLINS

Wardeh of GNOWFGLINS has recently launched a new ecourse — Basics II.  She’ll be building on basic skills and teaching more about natural sweeteners, traditional fats, organ meats, advanced grain preparation, homemade cream soups and salad dressings, super foods, and snacks (and more!).  Register any time!  Wardeh also teaches Basics I, Sourdough, Fermented Foods, and Dairy (cheese-making, culturing, etc.).

Christian Mommy Blogger

You may also recognize this name — Nikki is also a contributor here (or was — her own projects are keeping her so busy now that she’s leaving us!).  Nikki is a tax expert, and that’s a subject many of us don’t know much about.  It’s confusing, it’s annoying, it’s…taxes, you know?  But Nikki’s written a new book called Your Blogging Business: Tax Talk and Tips from an Accountant Turned Blogger, all about how to do your taxes the right way to save yourself the most money (as a small business/blog owner).  And it’s written in a language those of us who are not financially inclined will understand.

Collaborative Book

This one’s been in the works for awhile.  It started out as a simple idea: collect a few already-published recipes from bloggers, create a short book, offer as a Christmas gift.  But the project quickly grew out of control, and is now a 100+ page book, including several new recipes.  It was created by me, Erin of The Humbled Homemaker, Nikki of Christian Mommy Blogger, Stacy of Stacy Makes Cents, Justyn of Creative Christian Mama, Rachel of Day 2 Day Joys, and Debra of Sweet Kisses and Dirty Dishes.  It was edited and designed by Erin and her husband (who do editing and design work as a business, called Your Ebook Resource, by the way).  It’s called Real Food, Real Easy, and it’s intended for all you real food newbies out there: basic, delicious, easy-to-make real food recipes!  This will be coming out in the next couple weeks, and we’ll let you know as soon as it does!

Prairie Homestead

Jill, from Prairie Homestead, has a new book coming out soon (Feb. 20) — it’s called Your Custom Homestead.  If you’ve ever been wondering about all this new homesteading business, this is a resource for you!   The book will be out in a couple weeks, so you’ll have to get excited as you wait.

Day 2 Day Joys

Rachel (another writer here) is featuring her husband, Dr. Jake, who is a chiropractor.  He’s answering questions weekly for fans who want to know how they can improve their lives, or on any health and wellness topic.  See the Ask Dr. Jake page for more information, and ask away!

Shalom Mama

Nina at Shalom Mama has recently come out with her first book — Simple Natural Health.  If you’re looking for a beginners’ guide to natural health topics, check it out!

Valentine’s Day Sales

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, wow!  And in honor of the sweet holiday, I have some specials for you.

First, we’re lowering the price of Wholesome Comfort to $9.95 — and that’s permanent!  I’ll also offer the first 40 copies on Monday (the day before Valentine’s Day) for 40% off, using code VDAYCOMFORT.  Grab your copy and cook your sweetie a healthy, comfort-food dinner for your Valentine’s celebration!

Second, I’m going to offer a V-Day-only sale on Treat Yourself: the first 50 copies will go for 50% off, using code VDAYTREAT.  That’s not a sale you see too often!

Third, get any book, or combination of books at 25% off with code VDAYSALE, now through Wed., Feb. 15.

Also…my book on feeding babies and toddlers is done (or will be this weekend), and is in the hands of the testers.  You’ll be seeing that in March!

That’s a lot of bloggy awesomeness!

What are your favorite new books or blogging projects?

I used to love going to Mexican restaurants.  I’d always get burritos, enchiladas, or quesadillas (with chicken or mushroom fillings) with sides of refried beans and Mexican rice.  Oh, I loved the beans and rice!

Unfortunately most Mexican restaurants use a lot of soybean oil and other unhealthy ingredients.  Too bad they don’t use the traditional lard!  So, I set out to find a way to make Mexican rice at home.

It’s become a favorite here, and is often served simply with ground beef as a meal in itself.  It could also be served alongside refried beans, or with chicken enchiladas (recipe coming eventually).  It’s delicious, and fairly simple.  This amount is enough to serve as a meal for 4 people, so feel free to cut it in half if you’re looking for just a side dish.  In the picture above, I skipped the peas and carrots and used pre-cooked black beans instead.

Ingredients:

• 1 small onion, diced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 tbsp. lard (butter or coconut oil is fine too)
• 1 1/2 c. brown rice, soaked*
• 2 c. chicken stock
• 1 c. tomato sauce
• 1 tbsp. cumin
• 1 tsp. chili powder
• 1/2 tsp. oregano
• 1 tsp. sea salt
• 1/2 c. peas
• 1/2 c. chopped carrots

Directions:

First, chop up your onion and garlic.  Add these and your oil to a frying pan on medium heat and saute until softened, about 5 minutes.

Add the rice and saute until lightly golden and puffed, about 5 minutes.  Your rice may not puff quite like this and that’s okay.

Add chicken stock, tomato sauce, spices, and the other veggies (you can skip them if you prefer).  Stir to combine.

Cover and cook for 20 – 30 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes or so.  Add a little extra water if the rice isn’t done and the liquid is mostly gone.  Soon it will be done!

That’s it!  Not too hard, right?  Serve scoops with taco meat or seasoned chicken, or alongside any Mexican meal.  It’s also delicious with grated soft cheese (mild cheddar, monterey jack, or queso fresco) on top.

What’s your favorite Mexican side dish?

Image by USACE Europe District

Chances are, you’re aware of the vaccine debate.  Who isn’t, these days?  I know there are those of you who are completely against any vaccination, ever.  There are those of you who are following the CDC schedule and wouldn’t have it any other way.  There are those of you who are choosing a delayed and selective schedule.  And there are those of you who haven’t really looked into the issue very much yet (maybe you don’t have kids yet).  There’s every point of view represented out there.

The very unfortunate part about the debate is that it is so polarized and stressful.  Both sides are constantly attacking the other side, pointing to “poor or no science” and using names like “woo, quackery, stupidity” and other negative terms.

This does nothing to alleviate parents’ concerns, nor to “win” anyone over to either side.  It’s absolutely ridiculous that this attitude is acceptable, from either side!

Enough already.  Let’s get serious and bring a little maturity and honest information to the debate.

No Junk Allowed

I‘m starting a series that will take a closer look at many areas of the vaccine debate.  I’ll be looking at herd immunity, how scientific studies are conducted, faulty lines of reasoning, and most importantly, risk-benefit analyses for each vaccine.  I’ll be drawing on well-designed scientific studies, the VAERS database, and other reputable sources for these posts.

At no point will I rely on, or allow scare tactics.  Every single person can name someone who’s died from a vaccine, or from one of these diseases (or suffered permanent damage from either).  Individual stories don’t tell us anything.  Even if the chances of harm are one in a million, someone’s going to be that one.  We won’t be parading these stories around in hopes of convincing parents either way through fear mongering.  I truly believe this tactic is disgusting and wrong.

(By the way — and I’m sorry to even have to say this, as my followers are usually so awesome — I’m not going to allow any comments through, either, that rely on fear mongering.  So if you want to call people names or tell me a story about “this one person who was permanently injured because of other parents making X decision” and try to tug on peoples’ heart strings, I’m not going to post it.  That sort of thing just isn’t what this debate is about.)

Questions We’ll Be Answering

Are you curious what information I’m seeking to provide?

• What is herd immunity and what does it have to do with vaccines?  What evidence is there for it?
• How are scientific studies on vaccines conducted?  Length of time, placebos (yes/no/what), study size, is any data eliminated (and if so, what and why), conflicts of interest?
• What are the symptoms of each disease?  What is the normal course?  What are serious complications, and how often do they occur?  What increases the likelihood of these complications?
• What are the ingredients of each vaccine?  What is the efficacy?  What are the possible side effects, and how often do they occur?

If there are any other questions that you would like answer, please feel free to ask below!

Are you ready to join me on a propaganda-free look into vaccines?  It’s going to be long, thorough, and indepth, so that parents can make the decision with which they are most comfortable.  I have no agenda here.

What’s your biggest question or concern about vaccines?

Image by surrelmar

My dad is a man in the Word. If I need to know something about a certain passage, I always ask him. My dad is also a man of few words – unlike his daughter. I can sometimes get pretty riled up when people describe debt as a “tool” when the Bible clearly speaks against that – in both the Old and New Testament. Does my dad get riled up? Nope. He just looks at me and says “Stacy, if someone wants to misbehave, they’re going to do it. And no amount of you quoting scriptures is going to change that.”

I wish I were more like my dad. However, I can’t stand idly by while people continue to believe lies about debt: “I have to live this way”, “I have to have a car payment”, “you can’t buy a home without getting a mortgage”, “I have to have a credit card for emergencies”. No…that’s a lie you’ve been led to believe by society – but God can set you free from that bondage if you’ll listen to what He says.

Let me get something out of the way first – I realize that some people are in debt, but now they want to get out. I’m not addressing you. You’ve realized how dangerous debt is and you’re trying to get out. I also realize that some people get into debt and it’s something they couldn’t avoid – like medical debt. I’m not addressing you either. I’m addressing those of you who still believe debt is a “tool” and can be used “responsibly.”

You might bring a tiger home from the wilderness, raise it, and think it’s your kitty cat, but that responsibly trained cat can still turn on you and eat you for dinner. Debt isn’t something to be messed around with or treated like a dinner guest.

Oh, and one more thing – I’m also addressing Christians here. If you’re not a Christian, I don’t expect you to follow the Word.

Image by fosforix

Proverbs 22:7 – “Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender.”

I’m not sure about you, but I don’t know anyone who enjoys being a slave to something (except to Christ). When you’re in debt, you’re slave to your lender. You might not realize it, but they control a good deal of what you do – what you buy – where you go. You have to make sure you have enough to pay that bill this month……so you might not be able to go certain places or do certain things. Shake off that bond of slavery and live only for Christ.

1 Corinthians 7:23 – “God purchased you at a high price. Don’t be enslaved by the world.”

This links back to the verse in Proverbs about being a servant/slave. God purchased us. We are his. We should not be enslaved to Bank of America.

Psalm 37:21 – “The wicked borrow and never repay, but the godly are generous givers.”

This points to bankruptcy. You borrow, but you don’t repay? The Bible says that is “wicked.” Do I think there are times when people have no choice but to file bankruptcy? Yes. Do I also think that they should pay back the money eventually? Yes.

Romans 13:8 – “Pay all your debts, except the debt of love for others. You can never finish paying that! If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill all the requirements of God’s law.”

We should always be in debt to our brother – in love. We should not be in debt to Wells Fargo for our sea-do.

Proverbs 17:18 – “It is poor judgment to co-sign a friend’s note, to become responsible for a neighbor’s debts.”

If debt was a “tool” then wouldn’t it be cool to co-sign and help someone else get into debt? Umm, no. The Bible says you have poor judgment if you help someone else get a loan – because it’s likely that loan will be yours some day when they default.

Image by JSmith Photo

Is debt a sin? Absolutely not.  I realize that I sound very “hard core” above, but for me, debt isn’t something to mess around with. My husband counsels people on a daily basis who have tried to use debt “responsibly” and it backfired on them. There isn’t a single verse in the Bible where God uses debt to bless someone – in fact, it’s the opposite – he warns against it on a regular basis.

Please be encouraged. Debt isn’t something that you have to keep around like a pet. It IS possible to live debt free and live in freedom. I’ve heard from countless people that it’s only possible to live without debt if you’re rich – that’s a complete and total lie. Rich people didn’t get rich by using debt (most of them anyway) – they got rich by being smart with what they did have and making it work for them.

I am a stay-at-home mom and my husband works for our church. We both graduated from college debt free and Barry also has his Masters Degree – debt free. We are far from “rich” and yet I get to stay at home and not “work.” We were debt free, including our home, before I was 30 years old. We don’t plan on ever going into debt again. It is our goal in life to help others live free from the bondage of debt.

You CAN do it! Please let me know if I can be of any help to you (or Barry). If you need help setting up a budget, we have a free resource for you, Barry’s book on how to set up a budget – forms included. That’s available to anyone who signs up to get my daily emails. We hope it’s a blessing to you.

Live like no one else.

Do you follow the Bible’s word on debt?  Are you working currently to get out of debt?

Today I’m bringing you an interesting resource in home medicating.

If you’re new to self-treatment and aren’t sure where to begin, Jenni and her book, “Mom Essentials: Doctoring” can help.  Here’s a little bit about her:

Jenni has a Master Herbalist degree, has had 12 years experience using herbs, 7 years using essential oils and countless experiences with her 7 children using various healing modalities. She has home educated her children off and on for 14 years, and has done extensive research and training for herself on the subject. She has been preparing healthy, whole foods and creating recipes her family loves for 13 years.

Her book is all about how to doctor your family at home.  She goes through several personal anecdotes and experiences, and follows up with tips and recipes on how to treat all types of illnesses and conditions.  Jenni addresses topics like:

• Healing sore muscles
• Soda substitute, “Sassy water”
• Essential oil use
• Avoiding miscarriage
• Fighting urinary tract infections
• Eliminating constipation
• Managing RSV and pertussis
• Endometriosis, PCOS, and other fertility issues
• Strep throat help
• Helping eczema
• Kid calm-all tea
• Teething pain solutions
• Twisted ankle relief
• …and lots more!

(I’ve only included maybe a third of the full table of contents here, honestly, there is really a lot more!)

Jenni includes her favorite essential oils, herbs, and other formulas — with recipes and directions — among her advice.  There are a lot of bits of wisdom to be found on treating a wide variety of injuries and illnesses.

Here’s more about it from her site:

 

Mom Essentials Doctoring - Learn how Jenni ended years of chronic health problems, quadrupled her energy levels and took control of her family’s health. Her informational how-to articles teach people how to get down to the root causes of illness so they can stop running to the doctor for every little thing. We can all learn the basics of home remedies and do-it-ourselves! 

 

“I enjoy Jenni’s approach to natural and healthy living and love all the information on her blog. I have been using the products she offers with great result and appreciate all of her knowledge about oils, herbs, etc.” –Dagmar Bleasdale of Dagmar’s Momsense

Jenni’s free report: http://www.momessentials.net/flu-remedies-from-dr-wife

If I had one criticism of this book, it would be that it is not that well organized.  The stories aren’t separated into distinct chapters (just sub-headings) and sometimes the alignment of the pictures isn’t quite right.  This can make it hard to find exactly what you are looking for, but doesn’t detract from the usefulness of the information.

Do you want to win a copy?

1. Visit Jenni’s site and read about her books.  Tell me why you want to win and which remedy or treatment you would most like to try.  That’s it! (REQUIRED)
2. Like Modern Alternative Mama on Facebook
3. Follow Modern Alternative Mama on Twitter
4. Like Mom Essentials on Facebook

This giveaway will end on Friday, February 10th, and the winner will be announced by Monday, February 13th.  The winner will be chosen via “…And the Winner Is” WordPress plugin.  Good luck!

Jenni’s book is normally $19, but is currently on sale for $9 — no coupon needed!  Just in case you want to buy now.

Jenni is a do-it-yourself, happily married, mother of seven energetic kids. I recently finished my master herbalist degree and am now learning aromatherapy! I teach classes regularly and am a family health coach and life-change mentor. I am passionate about empowering people, especially women, mothers and fathers, to be teachers, chefs, and doctors in their own homes.

Read about my personal journeys:

Journey to Health
MD vs Herbalist
Why We Decided To Home School

What condition are you most interested in learning to treat at home?

Image by The Italian Voice

Sadly, “the crud” hit us over the weekend.  Ben came home from work on Thursday saying, “I’ve felt sick for a few hours…decided to just come home.  I’m going upstairs.  Bring some of that anti-nausea tea.”  But by the time I got it upstairs 15 minutes later, he said it was already too late.  He spent the night sick.  Bekah and Jacob were each sick for about 20 minutes (really — they threw up once, then were magically fine), Daniel never got sick (that kid never does anymore!!), and I just felt really tired and icky Friday and Saturday.

Sunday we all felt better.  Which is nice.

We’re not the only ones.  Unfortunately, “the crud” is going around, and we know many friends (locally and online) who have been affected by similar stuff.  It’s not fun.  And personally, I blame our holiday “slipping” (in terms of diet) for some of this.  Bekah had way too much organic candy and homemade cakes and cookies for a month, and her gut health is precarious as it is.  (She is 4 and you can read her story if you are curious why this is.)

Now we, and others, are in a position to need to re-build our systems!  We did not break down and use any sort of conventional medications during our illness (if you did/do, you will have more rebuilding to do because these medications damage your gut flora), but still — illness and the symptoms it produces can wreak havoc on your system.  (Try this link for natural alternatives!) So what to do?

Building the System Through Diet

First, it’s important to be extra careful about your diet, whether you’re recovering from a recent illness or hoping to avoid one that’s going around.  Here are some important keys:

• Few/no grains (and any you do consume should be properly prepared whole grains)
• No sugar (a tiny amount of raw honey in tea is okay, but skip even other natural sweeteners now)
• Plenty of bone broth
• Fresh garlic (see below for ideas)
• Limit/eliminate dairy (especially store-bought, which is highly allergenic and mucus-producing)
• Lots of fresh vegetables
• Seafood (especially salmon)
• Crispy nuts
• Healthy meat
• Coconut oil (full of medium-chain lauric acid, an immune booster)

It’s so important to be extra careful at this time.  When your body is in a weakened state, it is more vulnerable to infections, meaning it’s more likely that you’ll get sick (again) — or take longer to recover.  Avoiding processed foods like white flour, white sugar, and vegetable oil, plus any weird food additives, is key (but you should ideally do that pretty much all the time).

What about that fresh garlic?  How are you supposed to consume that?  Here are some ideas:

• Mixed into homemade salad dressing
• Mixed into olive oil dip for bread (preferably whole wheat sourdough)
• Smeared onto bread with a little butter and lightly toasted (like garlic bread)
• Slightly crushed and swallowed whole (for the brave!)
• Crushed and mixed into soup (also for the brave!)

If you’re wondering, yes, it’s important to somehow crush the garlic first.  Crushing it releases the allicin, which is the active compound that gives garlic its wonderful properties (anti-viral).

These are milk kefir grains

Image by tarik gore

Building the System Through Supplements

After any digestive-related illness, it’s likely that your gut flora could use some help.  The reason you got sick in the first place is because the balance shifted so that the pathogenic bacteria was able to “take over.”  The symptoms produced (vomiting, diarrhea) are intended to flush out the bad guys so your body can fight back.  Annoying, but necessary to your health.

Post-illness, the balance is only precariously in favor of the “good guys.”  It’s important to shore that up as soon as possible.  With that in mind, here are some supplements you should consider:

• Probiotics (ideally food-based, and consumed with every meal)
• Fermented cod liver oil (take a double dose for a few days)
• Herbal multi-vitamin (we’ll be starting ours)
• Activated charcoal (this is actually taken at the first hint of symptoms, or can be taken pre-emptively if other family members are sick.  It binds with all the “yuck” and carries it out of your body.  I took it and think it minimized some parts of the illness for me)

There is some evidence to show that forms of kefir can actually help to re-colonize the digestive tract, while other forms of food-based probiotics (like yogurt) “pass on through,” helping only immediately after you’ve consumed them.  Including kefir in your diet would be a great idea.  Try adding it to smoothies if you don’t care for the taste straight — I don’t. Here is a neat article on types of bacterial strains and what they do for us.

We will personally be including yogurt, milk kefir, kombucha, pickles, raw cheese and other forms of probiotics in our diet now.  (Even more regularly than before!)

Building Your Immune System in Other Ways

One of the most crucial things you can do to boost your immune system is to address your vitamin D and vitamin A levels.  Both are heavily tied to immune function.  If these levels are too low, you can expect more frequent and more serious illnesses.  Fermented cod liver oil (FCLO) contains both of these important vitamins.  The dose that you would need to take will vary depending on how low your levels are.  If you are sick often, please see your doctor and get a blood test to check your levels.  It is possible to supplement with an oil-based, non-synthetic vitamin D and/or A supplement up to 50,000 IU (vit D) per day and 100,000 IU (vit D) per day for a short time.  It is crucial that you do not take high levels of synthetic vitamin A, as this is toxic.

Exercise, in a low-impact, mild form is good.  Pushing yourself to exercise too much, especially post-illness, can tax your body’s reserves at a time when you don’t have much, weakening you and setting you up for further illness.  Start exercising slowly and build up over time to prevent this.  Always listen to your body.  If you feel exhausted, do not push yourself to continue exercising.  It’s important to remain hydrated, and a homemade electrolyte drink can help with that.

Visiting a chiropractor is also a good idea.  We go once a week, and the kids actually get adjusted about once a month (or after any illness or injury).  Chiropractic aligns the bones so that the nerves can then be properly placed and can send appropriate messages to the body.  If part of your spine is out of alignment, a nerve(s) may be pinched, which means the messages from the body part to the brain can’t get through properly, sometimes causing illness.  When the body is aligned, it functions better and this can boost your immunity.  If you have never seen one, try to find one!  They can help with a lot of different issues, including things like recurrent ear infections.

Essential oils can help, too.  Diffusing oils into the air can help clear up bacteria and other junk and prevent future infection.  You can read about how I use essential oils if you’re curious, though I am by no means an expert.

Addressing Antibiotic Use

My personal belief is that antibiotics should be used only in very serious situations.  If you have a known bacterial infection that is not responding to home treatment and you feel that you truly need something stronger to “kick it,” then take it.  For me, I would have to strongly believe that the body was compromised enough that it was temporarily unable to fight off what was going on, and that there were no natural remedies that I could use to boost it that would work quickly or well enough.  So far this has never happened, though we have considered it a couple of times.  Choosing antibiotics is a much more serious decision than most people believe (unfortunately), and if we were all more cautious, we probably wouldn’t see the resistance issues we currently do.

Regardless, it happens sometimes that you have taken them, either because you were sure you needed them, or perhaps because a doctor convinced you to take them.

If you have recently taken antibiotics or other medications, these cause damage to gut flora.  This can result in thrush or yeast infections, as well as other types of infections.  As soon as you begin the antibiotics, ideally, you should be giving probiotics about 4 hours after each dose (in between doses — too closet to the dose, and the probiotics will kill the antibiotics, too).  Continue to consume probiotics at each meal and also for snacks (a nice fermented pickle makes a great probiotic snack) once the antibiotic course is finished.  Make sure you follow the directions on the antibiotics so that they can work properly and you don’t allow the infection to come back.

Since thrush and yeast may be a problem, consume no sugar and limited to no grains at this time, as these feed yeast.  Yeast is normal and healthy, but must be balanced with bacteria.

If a yeast infection does occur, applying some milk kefir directly to the affected area can help to clear the infection.  Consuming garlic and coconut oil will help as well.  Cranberry can be taken for a UTI (juice is fine, and diluted by sweeter juices is okay).

One of the major things to avoid is a second course of antibiotics soon after the first.  When gut flora is wiped out from antibiotics (good and bad), infections can get in more easily because there are no ‘good guys’ to fight it off.  This is another reason why it is important to choose carefully!  Keeping up a steady round of probiotics between doses and after the antibiotics are done should help fight this.

See my other post today for healing and boosting ideas!

Luckily, if you’re on top of everything, it’s possible to boost your immune system and stay healthy for — hopefully — the foreseeable future!

**This post has been entered in Monday Mania at The Healthy Home Economist.**

How do you boost your immune system?

Image by epsos.de

by Erin Odom, Contributing Writer

With a new year always comes new talk goals, whether it be for your spiritual life, your health, or, for many people, your finances. Thankfully, besides our house, our family doesn’t have debt.

But while we haven’t used credit cards since we were married nearly 7 years ago, there are still plenty of mistakes we made in our newlywed days. I hope you can learn from our mistakes!

1. We didn’t live on as strict of a budget.

Yes, we actually did live on a budget–even in our newlywed days. However, our budget left LOTS of room for eating out and entertainment (far more than we could ever fathom now!). If we had chosen to simply eat out one less time per month (or week!), we could have tucked that money aside for when we started a family. Now, we rarely eat out–because we don’t have the extra money in our budget to do so.

2. We didn’t save my salary.

What? Am I suggesting we should have saved my entire salary?! Yes, I am! My husband and I have both said many times we wished we had done so. We were young and naive in this matter, and we truly thought our income was modest at the time. Even though we both only worked full-time for one year (he then went on to seminary and worked part-time at our church, while I continued to work full-time), that one year could have put a HUGE, huge dent in our savings account. We were both teachers, and we were bringing in twice the amount of money we have lived on ever since. This is one of our biggest financial regrets. 

3. We would have rented an apartment and/or home longer.

We started out renting a home owned by some of our friends. We ended up buying that home when they decided to sell it. It was 2006. No, we had no idea the market would crash just two years later, but we also should have thought through that our down payment was very little and that it would take us a very long time to pay the house off.

In retrospect, we should have rented longer, so we could have saved more of a down payment, which would have us owing less now. We currently owe more than the house is now worth, and it’s a sickening feeling. We had to move for several reasons and have tried selling our home unsuccessfully for almost 4 years. We’ve been through 3 renters and are currently seeking a new renter or buyer. No matter what happens, we will lose money on this one.

The house is a two bedroom with no garage–not the best investment. Three (or more) bedroom houses sell much better. If we are ever able to buy another home, we will stick to one with three bedrooms.

4. We would have taken Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University Class and read Barry Myers’s From Debtor to Better eBook.

Ramsey’s class goes far beyond setting up a budget. It talks about insurance, investing, paying of debt, and much more. Barry, hubby to the famous Stacy of Stacy Makes Cents, just came out with his eBook. I’ve been able to preview it, and let me tell you: He’s the next Dave Ramsey! If you can’t afford to shell out the cash for the Dave Ramsey class (it’s a little pricey), do your family a favor and buy Barry’s book. You won’t be sorry!

*I have included an affiliate link in this post.

What are some financial mistakes you made in your newlywed days? What did you learn from your mistakes?

Image by lulumon athletica

Recently, several of my readers have been asking me about women’s health issues — things like fertility, pregnancy, PCOS, balancing their hormones, etc.  It’s a big issue.  Women don’t have a lot of truthful information about their health.  Western medicine doesn’t understand how heavily hormones play into everything that happens with our health.

Why Track Fertility Signs?

It reminded me that I have never posted on tracking your fertility signs, which is a huge way for women to know what’s up with their bodies.  Believe me — this is not just for women who want to get pregnant.  Tracking these signs is a way to tell if your body is on track hormonally.  Women can tell (by sharing these signs with a qualified medical professional, who can interpret them in her particular case) whether she’s suffering from:

• PCOS
• Anovulatory cycles
• Insulin resistance
• Adrenal dysfunction
• Thyroid dysfunction
• Other issues of hormonal balance

This can provide a clue as to why you can’t lose weight, if you’re at risk for diabetes or metabolic syndrome, if you have a thyroid condition, and of course, help you conceive (if that’s what you’re after).  This is something all women should do!  This is one major reason I’ve got pregnant fairly quickly and easily each time — I carefully tracked all my signs.  Even when we were “struggling” for 6 months to conceive Jacob (I was still breastfeeding frequently around the clock and this naturally suppressed fertility), I could tell by tracking my signs that things just weren’t “right” yet.  This is a really important tool!

The “What”

Let’s take a quick look at which signs you should track, and what they mean:

• BBT — Basal Body Temperature, or your temperature as soon as you wake in the morning, before you even get out of bed.  This is your lowest temperature of the day.  A temperature below 98 is an indication that your metabolism is low and may indicate dysfunction in your adrenal or thyroid glands.  You should see a sustained shift upwards by .2 or .3 degrees mid-cycle, which indicates that ovulation has occurred.  Your BBT will drop again right before or when you begin your period.
• Other Temperatures — Take your temperature also at noon, 3 PM, 6 PM, and bedtime.  A low temperature and fatigue at 3 (which should be your highest of the day) indicates adrenal dysfunction, which can play a role in infertility as well as several other issues.
• Cervical mucus — At the beginning of your cycle (when you start your period), it should rather dry (except the bleeding).  After the first week, it should gradually change to creamy, then stringy, then clear/watery, and mid-cycle, “egg white.”  This means clear, thick, jelly-like and stretchy, like raw egg whites.  It indicates that ovulation is either about to occur, or that your body is attempting to ovulate.  If you see this “EWCM” multiple times in your cycle, especially if it is earlier or later than expected, it may mean your hormones are surging to try to ovulate but are unsuccessful.  (I saw this a lot during the 6 months prior to Jacob’s conception, and I’m seeing it again now.  I haven’t gotten my period back.)
• Cervical Position — Your cervix changes quite a lot in position and texture throughout your cycle.  At the beginning, it is low, hard, and mostly closed.  As you approach mid-cycle, it should rise higher, soften quite a bit, and open.  (It might take you a couple months to get the hang of what ‘hard’ and ‘soft’ feel like, but they are drastically different.)  The “high, soft, open” indicates ovulation is about to occur, or has recently occurred.  After ovulation, it should drop back down, firm, and close.  A cervix that doesn’t follow this pattern may indicate that ovulation isn’t occurring, if you look at it with the other signs.

Other Signs

• Spotting — Spotting may occur around implantation, if you get pregnant.  It can also occur at random times if something’s out of balance with your hormones, usually when progesterone is suppressed (I tend to see it 2 – 5 months PP every few weeks, as a first sign that my body is trying to re-balance).  If you are not ovulating based on the other signs, it’s probably a sign that your body is trying to heal, but could be a sign of another condition (see your doctor).
• Nausea — Many women say that pregnancy causes nausea early on because of spiking progesterone levels.  Progesterone also surges as you approach ovulation and stays higher in the second half of your cycle.  I have found that when my body is attempting to ovulate (but prolactin, in my case, is suppressing it), I feel nauseous and morning-sickness-like for a couple days in the middle of the month.  I believe it is because of progesterone and other hormones surging.
• Sore Breasts — Similar to pregnancy, you may feel breast tenderness when your hormones are surging.  It can be another indication that your body is trying to ovulate.
• “Mittelschmerz” — It means pain with ovulation, and is felt on the lower left or right side.  This can indicate that ovulation has occurred, or is occurring (I have felt this and used it as a guide to conceive).

Image by tjmwatson

The “How”

Tracking BBT

To track your BBT, you’ll need a thermometer that is digital and reads to the hundredth of a degree (97.98, for example).  Each morning (ideally around the same time), take your temperature before rising.  This means before you go to the bathroom, before you take a drink of water, anything.  Record this temperature on a chart.  Ideally, your temperature will be around 98 to 98.6 in the morning, and will shift up .2 or .3 degrees post-ovulation (shift needs to be sustained at least 3 days to ‘prove’ ovulation really happened.  More than 18 days and pregnancy is highly likely).

Take your temperature also at 12 PM, 3 PM, 6 PM, and bed time.  3 PM should be your highest temperature.  A low temperature at this time can indicate adrenal dysfunction.

Cervical Mucus

When you use the bathroom, you can check for this.  Using clean hands, reach slightly into your vagina and touch the secretions there — this is cervical mucus.  Sometimes you will not notice much of anything; other times there will be so much that there will be a decent amount on the toilet paper when you wipe.  Note the texture of what you see — dry, sticky, creamy, watery, or egg white (thick and stretchy like raw egg whites).  It should progress from dry at the beginning of your cycle (after your period) to egg white in the middle (at ovulation) then back again as your period approaches.  It will move back towards dry initially even if you are pregnant, so this is not a sign.  Once you are further into your pregnancy, you will see a lot more creamy and stringy cervical mucus, but by the time you see this, you will have had a positive test.  If you don’t notice egg white or watery CM at all, or you notice it several times (along with a lack of temperature shift), this may mean you are not ovulating.

Cervical Position

This, too, you can check for when you use the bathroom.  Sometimes, it will be hard to reach, or even impossible.  Other times it will be easy.  With clean hands, reach up inside your vagina.  You will feel a small, knobby thing — it is very different from the surrounding soft tissues.  Your cervix will change quite a lot in both texture and position throughout your cycle.  At the beginning (during your period), it will be thin, hard, low (easy to reach) and mostly closed.  You may notice a small opening in it, and it will feel narrow (maybe like a thin marker in diameter).  As you approach the middle of your cycle and ovulation, it will rise up high (may not be able to reach), become thicker and wider, open, and very soft.  This indicates that you are fertile (especially with fertile CM and a temperature shift).

The important of tracking the cervix is that it lets you know when ovulation is coming, while a temperature shift lets you know ovulation has already occurred.  Conception occurs most easily in the 2 – 5 days pre-ovulation and 12 – 24 hours post-ovulation.  (After this the egg decays and cannot be fertilized.  A lot of women are simply missing this window.)

In pregnancy, the cervix shifts up high and becomes very soft, and may feel “open,” but it is blocked by a mucus plug to protect the baby.  (It especially will feel “open” if you have already had a baby.)  This won’t occur until 6 – 8 weeks, however, so cervical position and texture isn’t a reliable early pregnancy sign.

Other Signs

Simply note on a chart if you have any spotting, pain, headaches, nausea, sore breasts, or anything else out of the ordinary — no matter how minor.  It may or may not be related, but it’s good to note.

What Next?

The most important thing is to take your chart to a practitioner who is qualified to read these charts.  They can look at the combination of signs and will be able to tell if your hormones are off, why, and what to do next.  It’s likely that you will be prescribed a fertility diet (including lots of healthy fats).  Other treatments may include herbs, acupuncture, or other treatments that will help balance your body.

Be very wary of anyone who suggests using synthetic hormones to manipulate your body into a pregnancy.  This is not a good long-term solution.

Your practitioner may also recommend follow-up tests, like checking your blood sugar, or doing saliva tests for adrenal function and other hormones.  These can offer even more insight into what your body is doing, hormonally.  If pregnancy’s not your goal, then you may be recommended to use bioidentical hormones for certain conditions.  Ask your doctor.

For a lot of women, estrogen dominance is a big problem.  Removing any extra sources of estrogen from your diet can help. These include:

• Any type of plastic
• Soy
• Pesticides
• Cosmetics
• Pharmaceuticals

This is not an exhaustive list, and a qualified professional can let you know what to avoid (if needed).

Tracking your fertility signs is complicated, but can help you figure out what’s going on with your body, so that you can re-balance as needed, to achieve both general health and pregnancy!

Do you track your fertility signs?  Has it helped you?

Are you bored with the usual dinner vegetables?  I know we are.  That’s why I decided to try out these delicious roasted brussels sprouts.  They’re not the yucky, overcooked, nasty mess that you used to eat as a kid.  They’r crisp outside, soft inside, and tasty.  Try them out!  They’re easy and fairly quick, too.

Ingredients:

• 1 lb. brussels sprouts
• 1/4 c. lard
• Sea salt to taste

Directions:

Get your fresh Brussels sprouts.

Slice each one in half.

Place all the sliced halves into a baking pan.  Don’t they look pretty?!

Add your lard.  I simply added two good scoops.

Place this pan in the oven at 350.  You’ll need to come back in about 10 minutes to stir it up once the lard is melted.  Add some sea salt, too.

That’s it!  Allow it to roast for 30 minutes, until the edges are slightly browned.  Serve.

**This post as been entered in Pennywise Platter Thursday at The Nourishing Gourmet.**

Do you enjoy Brussels sprouts?  What’s your favorite way to serve them?

I always loved my Swiffer mop.  Except that I didn’t love the solution (nasty chemicals), nor did I love having to buy those disposable pads.  I used to use the pads several times, until they were very dirty and falling apart, but still.  I don’t like to buy disposable things like that.  The only “disposable” thing I buy anymore is toilet paper!  (And I might get rid of that if I didn’t think it would cause mutiny!)

So, for awhile, I retired my Swiffer mop and used a regular sponge mop.  But it was hard to deal with — it got water everywhere, constantly needed to be rinsed, couldn’t get into corners well, and eventually the sponge started to rip off the base.  Enough.

I decided I’d sew these reusable pads instead.  I wanted something that was “scrubby” but absorbent, and also kind of pretty.  So this is what I came up with.  These can be sewn in 10 – 15 minutes each.  You don’t need to be an excellent seamstress or even have any experience to make these.  If you can press down the foot and sew a straight stitch (or at least a semi-straight stitch, haha), you can make these.

You will need:

• 1 15 x 7.5″ piece of “pretty” fabric
• 1 15 x 7.5″ microfiber cloth
• 1 15×15″ piece of birdseye cotton, cheese cloth, or another “absorbent” and thin fabric
• 15″ of 1.5″ wide loop (like Velcro, the less ‘sticky’ part only)
• Thread
• A sewing machine (though you could do it by hand…it would just take a lot longer)

Okay, here we go!

Get your pretty fabric and cut a piece that is 15″ x 7.5″.  I’m measuring out my 15″ here.

This is my piece of fabric.  It does not matter if it is not a perfect rectangle.  You’re going to be cleaning the floor with this, after all.  The top is pretty only so that you can “enjoy” the experience!  (But if you don’t care, feel free to use whatever you want on top.)

Take your “loop.”  That less-sticky “Velcro” stuff (Velcro is a brand name; the generic term is ‘hook and loop’).  Cut it in half, so you have two 7.5″ pieces.  Put them roughly in the center of your cloth, and pin them down.

Starting at the top of the long side, sew down one side, across the short side, back up the other side, and across the last short side.  Now your loop is attached to your fabric.  Do the same on the other loop piece.  It does not matter if they are not placed exactly in the center or if they are not completely straight — just do the best you can.

Here you can see my loop is sewn down.  It’s not perfectly straight.  Like I said, it really doesn’t matter.  (This is a forgiving project, which makes it GREAT for beginners!)

This is one of the microfiber towels that are sold in the automotive section of stores super cheap.  I think I bought a 25 pack for $10 or something.  I have used them for everything: stuffing in diapers, cleaning every room in my house, and now this.  I just take a 15×15 towel and fold it in half.  I’m going to cut it right along the fold.

Here is the towel after I’ve cut it.  I have two equal pieces, so I can make two Swiffer pads from it!

Now I take a roughly cut 15×15 piece of birdseye cotton.  This is the stuff they make cloth prefolds out of.  It is really cheap — I bought it through an online coop for $1.50/yard.  (I love my online coops!!)  You could use an old, thin dish cloth; a piece of flannel; really any sort of absorbent cotton.  Once you have your square, fold it in half.

Pay attention carefully here.  Layer your fabric with RIGHT SIDES together.  So, first lay your microfiber down with “scrubby” side UP.  Then lay your pretty fabric on top of it, loop side DOWN.  Finally, lay your cotton folded piece on top.  Pin this all together.  You can see each of my layers and how they are laid in the picture below.

Take this over to your sewing machine, and sew down one long side, across a short side, and up the other long side.  DO NOT sew that last short side closed!

Once it’s sewn on three sides, look it over to make sure that you caught all the layers, and that nothing’s unsewn.  If you notice a patch where you drifted to one side and you didn’t get all the layers sewn together, just go back over it quickly and sew it up.  We don’t want any holes in the cloth!

Then, if you have extra fabric on the edge (more than 1/8″), cut off the extra close to the seam.  You can see how I did this.

Now, go to that fourth side that’s not sewn closed.  Find the top and the bottom layers (you can see mine in the picture below).  Flip the cloth right side out.  See how I’m folding it down and pulling it through?

This is my cloth once I’ve pulled it right side out.  The scrubby microfiber is now on the bottom, the pretty fabric with the loop is on top, and the cotton is inside.  All I have left now is that open edge.

Tuck the edge in so that it looks neat.  It doesn’t matter if it’s perfect, just kind of fold it in and press it together.  Sew this closed.

Now, it’s done!  There’s one more step that I didn’t show that you might want to do, though.  (Which I learned when I tried to use it).  As-is, the cloth will shift around a lot as you mop.  To prevent that, sew 3 – 4 straight lines all the way down the long part of your cloth, about every 1 – 2″.  These will be parallel to the long sides.  This keeps your cloth in place so that it doesn’t shift around and it’s easier to mop with.

There you have it!  A nice, reusable, washable “Swiffer” cloth.

(If you’re wondering, the blue squares in the background are my denim blanket on my bed that Ben and I made a couple years ago.)

**This post has been entered in Frugal Days and Sustainable Ways at Frugally Sustainable,  Works for Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family, Healthy2 Days Wednesday at The Humbled Homemaker.**

What do you use to clean your floor?

And not because I have too many bananas! We are super busy starting our business, plus I have to wear all my regular “hats” like being a mother, wife, blogger, etc. In the craziness of it all, I thought I’d share a healthy banana bread recipe.

What you need:

2 c gluten free flour

1 t baking soda

1 t baking powder
1 t nutmeg
2 T cinnamon

1 T vanilla

1/4 t salt
3 overripe bananas
2 eggs

1/4 c unsweetened kefir or yogurt (not pictured)
1/4 c butter, softened

1/2 c coconut sugar (or any sweetener of your choice)
1 c chopped nuts

What to do:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees
2. Add wet ingredients in one bowl and dry in another, mix well
3. Combine wet & dry ingredients into one large bowl
4. Spoon batter into muffin tins/mini loaf pan(s)
5. Place in oven for about 15 minutes (longer for mini loaf pans)
6. Remove and place on cooling rack
7. Enjoy!

If you’re going bananas too, remember to take a breath & remember how blessed you are!

What’s your favorite way to enjoy bananas?

Image by DrJimiGlide

Remember I’m working to get healthy this year?  Well, I’m finally feeling ready to step it up in the “diet” department.  I lost about 2/3 of my baby weight in the first week post-birth, but since then I’ve lost nothing.  I may have even gained a little back….

So, now it’s time to get serious about getting back to a healthy weight.  I’m not sure where I’ll end up — when I feel “right” and my clothes fit well, I’ll be done.  I’d ideally like to be around 125 (I’m 5’3″) but I’m not sure I will.  125 – 130 is where I think is best for me.  Currently I think I am around 140 (I am afraid to weigh myself post-holiday craziness).

Curious how I’ll do it?

What I Won’t Do

A lot of women looking to lose the baby weight make some mistakes.  Here are a few posts you need to read:

• Low Calorie Diets are NOT the Answer
• Low-Fat Diets are Not Healthy
• Does Calorie Counting Matter?

So, I clearly won’t be doing either of those.  Calorie and fat restrictions are just begging to be unhealthy.  We all need adequate calories for our bodies to work efficiently, and I’m still exclusively breastfeeding Jacob — I definitely don’t want to cut back!  I could lose my milk supply.  As for fat, we need it in order to make use of the critical fat-soluble vitamins, A, D, E, and K.  Plus breastmilk is mostly fat, and Jacob needs that.  I’m not cutting back on the fat.

Another thing I won’t be doing is killing myself to exercise.  Studies have shown that excessive cardio is not healthy for us and does not lead to permanent weight loss.  I’ll be definitely trying to “move more” by chasing the kids, taking walks with them, maybe even pulling out the Wii Fit again and playing with that — making exercise a part of my daily life.  But I’m not going to set goals like “I will exercise one hour per day” or anything like that.  Especially if your metabolism is on the low side (and mine always has been), exercise isn’t going to fix it.  In fact, metabolism is usually low because you eat too little for the amount of energy you are using!  (We’ll talk more about that on Friday.)

I also won’t be choosing “diet foods”(packaged foods), artificial sweeteners, or “cutting the pop.”  The only “pop” I drink is kombucha and I’m keeping that.  I usually drink water.  If I need or want another drink (like tea, which we make a couple times a week), I’ll use a small amount of raw honey.  Natural is always better than industrial!

What I Will Do

So what will I be doing?

Having a Big Breakfast

I wake up starving, but I often put off breakfast for at least an hour.  Maybe once a week I skip it entirely.  (That’s better than when I was a teen and skipped it everyday!)  I notice, though, that even when I have a decent breakfast (say, 2 – 3 eggs, 1/4 lb. sausage, and 3 cups of smoothie), I’m still really hungry, and I slowly feel worse and worse until lunch — and that doesn’t usually fix it, because I don’t eat enough then either.  Not good.

Instead, I’m going to start eating a huge breakfast.  I’ll have some savory protein, a fruit smoothie, sourdough pancakes or toast (my starter‘s doing much better now!), and I might add in some vegetables too.  I will spend this week figuring out how much I really need to eat for breakfast.

Daily Smoothie

I feel best when I have a smoothie with my breakfast.  I add plain yogurt to it, and something about that makes me feel really good.  I haven’t been making smoothies very often lately, so I will be going back to doing that again.  I also feel better with more fruits and vegetables, so that’s another reason to add a smoothie.

Coconut Oil

After Daniel was born (and a couple months prior), I was adding a lot of coconut oil to my smoothies.  I lost the weight fast that way, without even trying.  (3 months postpartum and it was gone, by 6 months I was down an additional 15 lbs.)  I’m going to start adding a tablespoon or two of coconut oil to my smoothies again, and hope that it has a similar effect (while also being an excellent source of nutrition).

Limiting Dairy

Another thing that has worked for me in the past is to limit dairy.  I will not eat (homemade) ice cream now.  I will have the yogurt, and I will occasionally cook with some raw milk or butter, and I’ll eat cheese sometimes, but I will cut back on this a lot, at least temporarily.  The dairy I do have will be raw and homemade whenever possible.

Limiting Grains

This was definitely part of my weight loss before.  I’m not going to completely eliminate them because it’s hard to eat enough and maintain my energy and weight while exclusively breastfeeding.  Instead, I’m going to make good use of my sourdough starter to create breads that are healthy.  If I can get a good crusty bread, I’ll dip it in olive oil (something else that helped me before).  Other than sourdough and the occasional soaked bread or rice, I won’t be eating grains for awhile.  I’m aiming for 2 – 3 servings a day, and some days none.

Daily Salads/More Veggies

I have always really enjoyed veggies, and throughout college, I always packed my lunch and put a salad in there everyday.  That was way before I knew anything about real food, too.  I have done that on and off since having kids, too — I make 5 to 7 salads on the weekend then have one daily.  It guarantees I get lunch even on super busy days, and prevents me from saying, “I just don’t want to make one right now.”  I’m going to do it again.  I also made a big pot of vegetable soup over the weekend and I plan to eat that daily, too (excellent with rich beef stock too!).  I’ll be adding in veggies and fruits with snacks too (along with cheese or some type of fat/protein).  (Are you curious what I put in my salads?  If so I will post my favorite combinations soon!)

“Move”

It’s been a pretty mild winter, so on days when it’s sunny and at least 40 (more often than you’d think), we go for walks.  I will also pull out my Wii Fit, though I think I’ll have to share it with my kids now…. That’s okay.  They actually enjoy watching me play, too, so I’ll still get a turn!  If we have a string of not-so-nice days, we might head to a local indoor playground for some exercise, or perhaps I’ll just chase them around the house awhile.

The Final Goal

I’m hoping by the time the weather is warm (3 – 4 months), I’ll be back where I want to be.  I’m not trying to move fast or lose weight quickly.  A pound or two a week is sufficient.

Frankly I won’t be stepping on the scale too often anyway.  My goal ultimately isn’t about that number; it’s about how my clothes fit and how I feel.

One summer when I was about 19, I went to the gym 5 days a week.  I went because I enjoyed it, and because I was working out with a friend who was about to head off to West Point.  (Hi Emma!)  By the end of that summer, I’d lost no weight, as a number on the scale.  But everyone kept saying I looked so good, I looked thinner, etc.  I’d built muscle and become stronger and healthier without that number changing.  That is just fine.  If I don’t actually “lose weight,” but I am stronger and healthier and my clothes fit better, I’ll take it.

Finally, please remember — this is my plan.  I’m choosing this based on what has worked well for me in the past and what makes me feel the best.  Your plan may look very different.  I’m not recommending this as “the” way to lose weight or get healthy.  Feel free to use it as a guideline if you would like to, but always tweak it to suit your own needs.

**This post has been entered in Monday Mania at The Healthy Home Economist.**

Are you trying to lose weight and/or become healthier this year?  What does your plan look like?

Image by matthewfugel

Guess what?  I haven’t ruined my sourdough starter this time!!  In fact, it’s doing pretty well.  See?

Are you curious what worked?

The Lesson I Learned

Yes, stirring in the hooch is definitely the answer.  I still continue to do it to make sure my starter is good.  Now I definitely have “lift” in my starter!  It also smells nicely sour.  I’m happy my starter is working well!

However.  My first baking attempt did not go so well.

Baking Bread?

I decided, how hard could this be?  I mixed together some starter, flour, and sea salt, kneaded it, and let it sit.  This is what it looked like:

And that never changed.  I poked at it about every 12 hours, but it really never looked any different.  I ended up throwing it out.

So, lesson here: use tried and true recipes for initial sourdough experiments.  Then, once I get the hang of it, I can branch out and figure out other projects.  Sigh.

I think, despite my previous failures, I will attempt Katie’s Honey Whole Wheat Bread this upcoming week.  Who wants to bake it along with me?

How’s your sourdough adventure?  Any tips from more experienced bakers?

Image by mrgreen09

I keep reading parenting blogs on major sites that categorize moms into stereotypes, then criticize each of these stereotypes.  Frankly, I’m tired of it.  It’s usually set off by a blogger having a “run-in” with a different “type” of mom (or several different types), then ranting about how awful that type(s) of mom is.  They’re frustrated, they’re angry…I get it.  We all have those run-ins and we all need to blow off some steam from time to time.

There’s a time and place and way to do that, though.  If you have a frustrating encounter with a mom, by all means — vent to your husband or mother or in a private journal.  Go through that encounter and dissect it and say all things you wish you could say.  We sometimes need to do that.  But don’t lump a bunch of uninvolved mothers in the same group (as if stereotyping is going to help) or vent publicly.  Does complaining publicly about those mothers who annoy you make you a better person?  I don’t think it does at all.  It only perpetuates the negativity.

Also, and this is something all bloggers have to learn (the rest of you can ignore this…lol), but since you are putting it out there, you’ll get a lot of extra craziness aimed your way.  Some people say things they probably ought not to say online — they tell it to you flat and sometimes rudely.  Ignore, delete, move on, and just understand it happens to all of us.  It’s nothing to get upset over.  I do really hate that line of reasoning coming from commenters (“Well, you put it out there, so you have to take what you get”) — you are always responsible for what comes out of your own mouth!  That goes especially for bloggers, but also for anyone who comments.  Two wrongs don’t make a right, you know?

But, that’s not what this post is about.

The “Worst” Type of Mom

Earlier this week I had a really bad day.  The early morning was great, actually.  I was super nice to the kids, I put the laptop away for a few hours, I gave them some ingredients and let them mess up the kitchen “making cookies.”  I spoke gently and respectfully to them.

Unfortunately, by early afternoon, lunch wasn’t ready, the kitchen was a disaster, the kids responded to my gentle requests by saying, “No, I’m not going to listen” and generally acting like monkeys.  I was starving, messes stress me out, and being disrespected and ignored was the final straw.  I lost it.

“CLEAN UP THIS MESS NOW!!!!  YOU WILL NOT TREAT ME THIS WAY!  DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME ANGRY?  HERE IT IS!”

They cried.  They cleaned.  And they said, “I love you so much….”

I went on: “If you love me, then you would listen the first time.  We wouldn’t have this problem if you had listened.  I get angry when I am ignored repeatedly.  Did I ask you nicely 15 times?  Did you do it?  No?  Then maybe next time you should try that.”

In my head, however, this is what is going on: I am starving.  This is not fair.  I know there is an adjustment period when I change my attitude and they are testing that.  I know they love me.  I shouldn’t yell.  I shouldn’t scare them with my anger.  I need to find a better way to deal with this.  Really, this is my fault.  They’re going to grow up sarcastic and ungrateful and mean and they’ll hate me, and it will be because that is the attitude *I* displayed so often when they were little.  This is really my fault.  I’m the worst mom in the world.

Who hasn’t had a day like that?

We are ALL The Worst Moms

It’s true.  Not one of us is perfect.  We all have bad days.  We all have, at least at times, spoiled, selfish, ungrateful, sarcastic attitudes.  Our spouse makes dinner or does the laundry and we don’t say thank you.  We get angry because the kids didn’t pick up their dirty clothes — again — and we snap, “Gee, do you think you could make a bigger mess?” sarcastically.  We beg and plead for “me time” even when no one else gets any.  We complain about how much our spouses and children make our lives more difficult.

I know I’m like this.  I know I’m selfish, ungrateful, and unsympathetic.  When I see it in my kids, it smacks me in the face: I don’t want them to be this way.  And they are only imitating me.  It’s humbling.  A lot.  Justyn recently came to this revelation too.

To some extent we can’t change it.  We’re flawed humans, living in an imperfect world (a good reason why we need Jesus).  We are going to feel frustrated and angry and sometimes we will say and do things we shouldn’t do.

We all do it.

And that truly makes all of us the worst moms in the world.

Image by lindsayshaver

The Best Moms in the World

I truly believe, however, that the vast majority of moms love their children desperately and intend to do the absolute best that they can do.  They want to be endlessly patient, loving, kind, and otherwise amazing moms.  They fail daily, but they keep trying.  I fail daily, and I keep trying.

I’m using this as a method of self-reflection: if I see undesirable behavior in my children, what am I going to do about myself to model better behavior?  That won’t make them perfect, but it will help.

In the last couple of days, I’ve been working hard to talk more about being grateful, and have tried to remember to thank both the children and my husband when they do things for me.  And now my daughter (who is 4) says to me, “Mommy, I appreciate you making dinner for me,” or “Thank you for helping me get more water.”  Certainly she still forgets or says things she shouldn’t, but I’ve noticed that she’s saying these nice things much more often.  And all of us minding our manners leads to spreading a little joy around.

We can’t become perfect.  But we can use our bad days as a type of reflection, so that at least most of the time, we try harder to get it right.  We can ask for forgiveness when we get it wrong.  Our children will model our behavior…and we will all be happier.  The bad times won’t matter as much as the good times because the good times will outweigh them.  And that is what makes us the best moms in the world.

Why Do We Care So Much?

Why do we have a tendency to label and judge other moms in the first place?  There have been a number of theories put forth, but I have mine:

When any particular situation arises and there are multiple choices, we ultimately trust our instincts, that deep gut feeling that tells us “this is right” or “this is wrong” for us.  We all have strong Mommy Instincts that guide us (along with, in some cases, research) to do what is best for our families.

When we come across someone else’s different choice, that gut feeling in us stirs: “This is wrong.”  That feeling is how we truly know that that choice is completely wrong…for us.  Sometimes we forget that last part.  We feel so deeply and so strongly that that choice is wrong that we feel the need to rebuke or even outright criticize the other mom(s)!  It’s completely true that that choice would probably be a total disaster, in our homes.  That’s why we don’t do it.

What we need to do is step back, take a deep breath, and remember these moms feel the exact same way we do: they are doing what feels right in their guts, in their hearts.  Maybe we’ll never “see it their way,” but we have to remember they are just moms, who try very hard and sometimes fail, too.

I honestly believe that’s true.  I don’t think moms feel superior, or inferior (and therefore need to bully), or are just rude and stupid people.  I think they are trusting their mommy instincts, and sometimes these bring out the fierce, protective mommy who says the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Yet another reason why we’re all the worst, and why we all get on one another’s nerves sometimes.

But it’s okay — we’ll keep trying, and we’ll keep failing, and we’ll keep being different.  That’s not important.  Loving our children as hard as we can and always striving to do our best, that’s all that matters.

What do you think?  Are we all “bad” moms?  Why do moms fight?